miatan: Life Magnified

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Fri
14
May '10

COZZIE IS MISSING PLEASE HELP FIND HIM

http://blog.miatan.com/index.php?s=cozzie

As mentioned, COSWORTH/COZZIE ran out this morning 14/5 around 11am at our estate
Jalan Keli.

2 witnesses, our neighbours saw him run towards Bright Hill Crescent.
We have combed the area extensively and thoroughly from 11 till 4pm.
(SIN MING, BISHAN, BRIGHT HILL)
No one else have seen him other than the two neighbours.

He is very friendly, non aggressive.
has freckles on snout, 55pounds/25kg, medium size dog.
responds very well to commands and his name Cozzie/Coz

Sat
1
May '10

I was 3….

i was 3 in grange garden

Fri
30
Apr '10

STAY TUNED FOR THE EXCITING LAUNCH OF THE THREE GROOVY PIGS!

 

It is my first book, a remake of a classic children’s story and will be in conjunction with local creative writing school, Monsters Under the Bed.

LIVE Story Telling sessions will be lined up for the launch of the children’s book at major bookstores and also at the campus of Monsters Under the Bed.

email me@miatan.com for more queries and early bird bookings or you may contact (+65) 6100 4363  to get in touch with the creative personel at Monsters.

Look out at: http://www.threegroovypigs.com/

(comment box has been disabled so do drop me an email)

    

 

 

 

 

Mon
16
Feb '09

i almost forgot…

…I got something to say!

holy moly ive got 83,000 over spam comments held in moderation and several other hundred thousands that slipped thru the spam filter which i have to remove one by one.

Two things i want to say.

1. Happy 2009!!

2. My resolution for 2009 is to be like kennysia   

Ok, that has been my resolution ever since I’ve known his blog from the early days and I’ve always questioned him then, how does he maintain such a highly respectable, accepted, talked about, popular sensation of a blog without insulting people or posting half naked pictures of himself?

In 2005, I entertained a wild idea of going bald for cancer society’s drive.
People talked me out of it because, well, I was going to participate in international pageants and legend has it that winners have long barbie hair.

Then kennysia came along with his online donation drive and raised a whoooping 65K RM for Sarawak’s Children Cancer Society.
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I can only wish, one day, I can influence like he.

3. I’ve been annoyed for a very long time. And trust me, I can be very tolerant.

But this I can no longer tolerate and if I don’t voice it out, I’ll suffer from internal injuries.

And now in the after spirit of Chinese New Year, I’ve decided to write between the lines.

We all go Chinese New Year visiting, from house to house, visiting relatives we only see once every year, just for the sake of getting some quick cash in the form of ang pows.

Some aunties live in a nice big house.

Some don’t.

Some are nice, some are not.

We like most, we don’t like a few.

But we accept them all the same, because we are a family, extended or near.

However, there are some people who insist their house is the best, the grandest, the only true form of how a house should be.
And they point out that everyone else’s house is just a shabby shack.

These very same people, because they are so hospitable and that their house is simply the best, love inviting others to visit their wonderful house, especially on weekends.

These people annoy me.
To no end.

Don’t get me wrong, I love getting invitations. It translates into popularity votes and free food.
But not on the pretense of inviting me to their beautiful house, they are actually saying that my house is not worth living in.

I just think, especially at this point in time, we all deserve some humane respect and personal space, in this overrun world.

Sat
29
Nov '08

today, i grew up.

okok i just got back from a whirlwind trip to Seoul then Hong Kong Macau and Shenzhen and have got lots of pix to upload!

but before all that, i wanna mark a very significant event in my life today.

from the time i can remember and comprehend things, i know my dad has always fetched me everywhere i go.
and i mean EVERYWHERE.

to and from school, to and fro tuition class, organ lessons, play dates, whatever whenever wherever.

and that was partly why i got nicknamed “princess” when i was much younger.

i took for granted, all these constant fetching, and whenever i got angry with my parents due to the stubborn teenage years, i would boycott the rides to demonstrate my independence, wake up super early at 6am just to take the bus to school.

my best friend shu is often the victim in such protests because she would also get up early and take the bus with me, in support of my rebellious cause.

but these protests often end very swiftly, with me caving in of course. who can resist the luxury of being chauffeured around?

my dad, having come from the property development industry, is always intrigued by things around him, especially buildings, decor and architecture.

he always laments that he cannot enjoy the view because he is always the driver.
he can’t look out of the windows and see the street sights, or admire the scenery because he is driving.
he’ll always say wait one day when i grow up i can drive him around then.

well….today is the day.

today and many days from henceforth.

i don’t know if they even realise it, but today is the first time that i’ve driven my parents anywhere, other than up the wall.

what was supposed to be a simple lunch at Samy’s Curry Fish Head @ Dempsey turned out to be a mini excursion to 2 of my favorite places in singapore.

i drove and picked mom and dad from home, took them for lunch, then we took a leisure drive to Michel’s joint, Prive at Keppel Island.

and along the way, my dad would point out certain landmarks, and talk to my mom who’s sitting in the backseat and admire the bridge linking Keppel Island to mainland Singapore, enjoying the view as i drove.

we had coffee (the angmoh kind not kopi) and carrot cake (also the angmoh kind not the black/white ones) at Prive, enjoying the seabreeze and late afternoon sun.

and we stopped by Hort Park for a leisurely stroll on the bridge before heading home.

then i had to introduce my favorite tze char place to them so we went for a wonderful dinner with my sister at Forture Seafood along Bt Timah, having my favorite salted egg crab, cereal prawns, tofu, kailan and hotplate maggi beef.

it was quite a sight having both my sister and dad giving me instructions on how to parallel park on a small side road.
it would probably be much easier if they got out of the car and stood by both sides of the road and act as my “parking poles”.

en route home, i drove down orchard road because i know my mom would want to see the christmas lights.
my dad has the habit of driving home via grange road river valley because of lesser traffic but my mom always chides him for not taking the orchard route, to experience the hustle and bustle that people from all over the world come to see.

so even though i was stuck in the “it’s a friday + christmas madness” traffic jam, it was all worth it.

to have my parents be able to admire the orchard christmas lights together, in the comfort of the car, with me driving them around the whole day, it is a humbling experience for me.

why couldn’t this day have come sooner?

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Sat
8
Nov '08

Do you have a Seoul?

I’ll be going to Seoul on Sunday for a trade show.

This is a long story that has come in its own time.

Remember when I got hijacked?

Philip Baum, managing director and editor of an aviation security magazine, got in touch with me and wanted an account of my hijacking story.
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We’ve been in touch ever since and whenever he’s in Singapore, we would catch up and one time, he even had me attend a self defense presentation he was giving to various airline personnel.

So next week, there is a conference in Seoul and he’s kindly asked if I would like to help him at his booth, managing subscriptions to his journals and promoting delegate placings at other conferences that he is organising.

There’s even one conference on disruptive passenger incidents (not just kena tio hijack, but also all passenger related incidents such as drunk passengers or “pig trotters hands” sexual abuse etc) in Istanbul by Turkish Airlines!

We are pretty sure with a real hijack victim at the stands, along with newspaper articles and the write up by HIS magazine will definitely garner alot of eyeballs and subscriptions!

And since this is my first trip to Seoul, I’ve called up Hye Jin who is Ms Korea!!!

Showing off her pink nails….
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In full national costume get up…
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Am hoping to meet up with her, however briefly, and maybe pass her some local pineapple tarts!

I am also aware that other than Kimchi, Korean Ginseng and Sochu, Seoul is also famous for their eyes and noses!

Perhaps I will come back looking from this…………..

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to THIS!!

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偶像!!!

Tue
21
Oct '08

oh it is so beautiful!

Went shopping with Hwee today for a gown that she needed for a formal event end October.

I know it is my duty to pick out that PERFECT DRESS for her but I couldn’t resist picking out dresses for MYSELF TOO!!!

And we both fell in love with this Karen Millen dress!!!

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And it’s got nice button detailings at the side!

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The price tag? $729.
But got less 30% lah.
Still. Sigh.

Wed
15
Oct '08

breaking news: another turkish air hijack

CNN news reported that another Turkish airline is hijacked.
I quickly called Philip Baum, who is based in London and in charge of an aviation security journal. He is the man who was interviewed by CNN when my flight got hijacked becoz he is a specialist!!

And he gave me the scoop even before CNN reported it.
So this is first hand news you are getting.

The “hijacker” is a drunk passenger and was overwhelmed by fellow passengers !

 

Fri
10
Oct '08

Would you like to make a donation..

TO THE BREAST FOUNDATION?

Can you believe I actually said that to total strangers in Orchard Road?

Last Saturday, I was at Tangs Orchard helping the Breast Cancer Foundation do a charity drive.

I’ve not done one-on-one charity sales since my flag selling school days but since I’ve got all the time in the world these days, I decided to drop BCF an email asking if they needed help for their annual Breast Cancer Foundation Walk.

In 2005, I participated in the walk as part of Miss World Singapore ‘05 activities and I remember speaking with the dragon ladies (these breast cancer survivors form a dragonboat team that practice weekly and very likely to kick your ass) and was amazed at the exuberance and determination they have.
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And following that walk, that night when the pageant was held, I had a question on stage “What’s the one thing you would change about this competition?”
Stupid answers such as “removing all the other contestants”, “changing the panels of judges” and simply snatching the microphone and announcing me the winner were considered.

But instead I said, “If there was a thing I’d change about this competition is that we could have done more for BCF than just participating in their walk. It would have been better if we could have volunteered to help out in other ways as well.”

So this year, the BCF walk happens to fall on Oct 4th weekend, which is the 2nd anniversary of my HIJACK on Turkish Air TK1476 and I decided to commemorate the day by revisiting BCF.

All decked in pink, I started out to sell cookies and BCF pins for $5.
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First i stuttered “Would you like to make a donation?”
Then it got longer “..to the breast foundation?”
Then i corrected myself “..to the Singapore Breast Cancer Foundation?”

Then I realise people thought I’m giving out the cookies for free. “….for $5 donation, you can receive this cookies and pin.”

Then people start walking by really fast when they see me approaching.
And then there’s those who 盗 铃 掩 耳, they think they are invisible just because they pretend they can’t see me I can’t see them.

Then I mastered the art of saying “Hi would you like to make a donation to the Singapore Breast Cancer Foundation? October is the breast cancer awareness month and we are doing this donation drive where for $5 donation you will recveive this packet of yummy Bakerzin cookies and this lovely crystal encrusted BCF pin” all under 5 seconds.

Because if you don’t manage to stop anyone within the first 5 seconds of beginning your sentence, your chances of a donation drops as drastically as the Dow Jones.

At the end of the 2 hours, I’ve sold off all 70 pins assigned and returned back to base happy and a jingling full money bag.
And surprise surprise! The good people at Estee Lauder gave me a goodie bag for helping out!

The sense of satisfaction that money can’t buy and I get all of this too!

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Now who said charity work doesn’t pay?

Thu
2
Oct '08

Australian Shepherds rule!

Cosworth is an Australian Shepherd.
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He is handsome, smart, obedient and good natured.
Everything we girls love in a man.

I always feel that australian shepherds are underdogs, overshadowed by the other herding sheepdog breeds such as the collies, obviously popularised by Lassie.
But I like the kinder, rounded snouts Aussies have compared to the longish Collies face.
And to think it wasn’t recognised as a breed until in the recent decades.
Then WHAM!
It goes on to win a prestigious doggie contest and suddenly the whole world knows about them

And now Fedex uses a blue merle in its commercial.
Go get them boy!


Wed
1
Oct '08

World of Warcraft

A few posts ago, I wrote about gamers.

Now, I’m one of them.

Check out my super hot toon!

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And my FIRST BG!
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AND I CAPTURED A FLAG!! ME! A low level toon (compared to the other lao jiaos) up there with the big boys!

Fri
26
Sep '08

D Day!

Today is D DAY!

D is for DIANA KRALL!

The project that pam, joan, shamyn, sarala, ivy, esther and I had been working on when we were at One Lifestyle (S) Pte Ltd is finally about to come to fruit.

Tonight at Fort Canning.

After all the turbulence that befall it, will it still happen without a glitch?

Nonetheless, one thing is happening for sure.
The inaugural SINGAPORE F1 GRAND PRIX!
It may be one of the few street circuits but it’s the FIRST NIGHT RACE. EVER.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines.

Thu
28
Aug '08

Day to day crimes

Today, i witnessed a crime being committed.

We drove into Johor Bahru to hang out with Andrew and ended up having a steamboat dinner, seated by the roadside where traffic was trickling by on the small lane, barely a meter away from us!
And right next to us was 姚玟隆 having dinner with his family!!

Waa people super star leh. So of course I kept turning back and staring like a typical star struck Singaporean.

Aiya super star also human wat. Still eat steamboat like us mah.

So whilst we were chatting about some imaginary hot chicks and I had my hands full of prawn shells, Andrew suddenly jumped up with such force, his chair almost toppled, he shouted and he attempted to stop a man riding by on a motorbike!

Initially I thought he met a friend passing by, but turned out the motorcyclist literally SNATCHED 姚玟隆’s wife’s handbag from her seat!

Andrew had seen the motorcyclist coming down the street and thought the guy was a little suspicious as he slowed down whilst approaching.
He had thought that the robber was a friend of theirs, coming to meet them for dinner.
It was only when he saw the robber snatch the bag, he quickly jumped up from his seat but the robber revved his bike and accelarated faster than I can say “Do you want any prawns?”

My very brave friend and 姚玟隆 jumped up and tried stop the robber but he rode off, leaving a trail of dust nestled in our soup.

I was quite shaken after that.
She was robbed point blank, an arm’s length away from me and it all happened so fast, no one had time to react or even note down the license number.

I never thought it would really happen, despite having seen reported stories of blatant robberies being committed in Johor Bahru.
I was always cautioned about watching my bags, keeping it slung on the arm that is furthur from the curb and to walk along the pavement against traffic flow so that I will be more aware of oncoming danger and keep personal belongings out of sight.

Well, take heed. For it does happen and it DID happen.

And since we are on the topic of robbery and henious crimes, here’s a video I think Singaporeans will find many laughs!


Fri
1
Aug '08

The Engagement July 4th 2008

So much has happened in this past month. I’ve left footprints in USA, Canada, Malaysia and Indonesia.

Exactly a month ago today, on July 1st, I embarked on a life changing holiday.
I was whisked off in a plane for more than 20 hours, with almost no knowledge of itinerary, only to know that I was headed for the West Coast and Vancouver.

What I’d thought to be a first holiday away as a young couple with Dave, turned out to be a surprise engagement plan!

And what have history taught us, time and time again, about executing any project to guarantee success?

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!

Dave did his homework extensively and chose this beautiful luxury bed and breakfast at Port Angeles, nestled in the Olympic Peninsula at the northwestern tip of the states, backdropped against the magnificiant Olympic National Park and facing the Straits of Juan de Fuca, overlooking British Colombia in the distance.

Colettes have been voted Best Place to Kiss by Fodor’s and it’s really not hard to see why.
The inn is managed by a hospitable couple.

We stayed at the Iris suite and this is the view from our bed.

Imagine waking up to a beautifully manicured garden, with all sorts of flowers and herbs, and your own private patio to enjoy it in.

The room was GIA-NORMOUS!!

The bathroom comes with a jaccuzzi bath spacious enough for two, amenities such as lavender bath salts and body cream, no expense was obviously spared in providing the best here.

And every morning, a gourmet 3 course breakfast was prepared for us. No tacky international buffet with screaming kids and kiasu parents.

Just show up at the table 830am punctual, organic juices, hearty cereal and fruits, and get ready to be pleasantly surprised with fresh muffins coming out of the kitchen and poached eggs with smoked salmon.

On July 4th, we spent a beautiful morning driving up into the National Park, thru extremely foggy roads to reach Hurricane Ridge, where we saw the snowcapped mountain tops and even a deer by the side of the roads.

When we returned to the inn, the innkeepers asked if we would like an evening drink, and gave us choices of red, white, champers or juices.

Do I even need a choice? Of coz champagne lah!
So we happily took our glasses and some Doritos into the garden to enjoy the fresh evening air and view of Canada in the distance.

Dave suggested taking some pretty pictures and do a Doritos product endorsement (to rival my Chipster ad), so he took my glass of champagne away and started snapping.


“Okok, now let’s do pictures of you drinking champagne.”
So i put down the bag of chips and picked up his glass of champagne next to me on the bench.
*snap snap snap*

“Eh, how about now you sip the champagne then i take photos.”

Just as i bring the glass to my lips, he suddenly exclaimed again.
“WAIT! Don’t drink MY champagne! Drink from your own!”

I was just thinking “wa lau eh. this guy damn kiam ku. i know he values his alcohol alot lah but this is abit extreme right?”
Begrudingly i gave him back his glass and demanded for my own back from him.

When i was about to drink again, i suddenly stopped.

Something wasn’t quite right.
My champagne was behaving funny.


It wasn’t giving me a pretty string of tiny bubbles.
The bubbles were BIG and all stucked at the bottom.
What kind of lousy champers is this? It looks like Zappel carbonated drink leh.

Then I realised.
Dave had already been on one knee since the Dorito photos!
How silly of me! I didn’t realise because the bench was low and I’d just thought it was the camera angle that he needed!
And he cleverly dropped the ring into my glass which he was holding and handed it back to me in the end!
He had it all planned!
And I unknowingly helped him along by choosing champagne and also by returning his glass as he asked so he could hand me mine with the ring.


How can I possibly turn down the man who had always been an independent bachelor and has now quickly turned into someone so steadfast in love and so affirmed in his affections for me that he expresses it in the oldest form of committment possible.

He even had fireworks arranged throughout the country to mark this celebratory moment.

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Upon returning, it was the “parents meet parents” dinner.
Turned out extremely well!
And my future in-laws are so cool, they read my blog!
So mind what you say here, or you might get a nasty email from them!

Wed
18
Jun '08

Everyday Rob People

Back in the good old days when I was much much younger, I remember Daddy sending Mummy to work in our old family merc, near the old Ellenbourough Market by the river.

I’ll always insist on tagging along.
Car rides were fun when you were much smaller.
Now that I’m older, car rides are still fun except that the car has to go much faster than my dad’s legal speed limit.

I remember at that exact same spot, where the current ERP gantry stands, there was a tiny cubicle by the side of the road, guarded by a mata.
I use the term cubicle because I’d always thought it a portable toilet cubicle for the mata to pee while on duty.

C’mon. I was 5 la ok.
In those days, we not so high tech, not so informed ok!
But I’m pretty darn sure we had much more imagination than kids these days.

Annnyyywaaay, there was a ruling back then, that cars need to ferry at least 3 people before they are allowed to enter the CBD during peak hours.

So every morning, I would bring my life size teddy (I wasn’t so tall then and the teddy seemed to be my size. the 80s kind with flat plastic stick-on eyes that has black round plastics inside as rolly pupils) for the car ride and when we drive past the gantry, i would stick my face and the bear at the rear passenger window and wave!

Firstly, I was scared of getting arrested by the mata. Too many childhood threats of the police coming to take me away if I was naughty.

Secondly, I was still scared. Scared that that the mata won’t see me seated at the back. Like I said, I wasn’t so tall then.

Thirdly, I was also scared that the mata won’t count me as a “full” passenger.
See, when I was 5, I’ve already grasped the concept of fractions, thanks to the educational chart at the back of taxis.

That’s why I brought Mr Teddy along.
I figured two small people makes 1 “full” person, just like the chart says.

Nowadays with Electronic Road Pricing, Mr Teddy gets to remain in his cupboard.
Basically, the motive of the additional ERP gantrys is to ease traffic and not sucker our citizens’ money right?

So, how about we revert back to the good old “min-3-pple-in-a-car” ruling?

It will encourage car pooling, thereby bringing people together and reducing the number of cars on the road.
Which in turn reduces fuel consumption and then reduces pollution and then reduces global warming and then it will be my cue to jump out and say WORLD PEACE!

Sun
8
Jun '08

Role Play Me

I’ve dated many gamers. Countless.

Unreal Tournament, Diablo, World of Warcraft, Streets of London, Age of Conan, you name it i’ve dated it.

And no, I don’t date Counter Strike Bengs.

I only date REAL MEN who play REAL ROLE-PLAYING GAMES.

These men are PASSIONATE (about their game), STEADFAST in love (with their online character) and LOYAL (to their battle mates).

All the traits I’ve checked off on a list for my perfect man.

Gamers almost never cheat on their partners. Because they have no time to.
They rush home after movies to battle with their team.
They hurry through dinner to complete a new mission.
They play well into the early hours of the morning, lacking sleep they result in grumpiness, short tempers, unkempt other halves.

It doesn’t take another physical human being to steal your boyfriend, it can also come in the form of a cyber character.

So as i frag one gamer boyfriend after another, they all still seem to respawn around me.

Like they say, if you can’t beat them, join them.

P.S i’ve always wondered, who’s they anyway?!

Thu
22
May '08

alamak.

Yesterday I called the SingTel Billing Enquiry Hotline about a discrepency in my bill.

Some chick answered my call after being put on hold.

She verified my mobile number, name and I.C.

Then she asked me what was wrong.

We had a lengthy 10 minute discussion about my handphone bill, unsolicited SMS, unexplainable charge from a 3rd party provider etcetc.

And she finally came to the conclusion that her capacity was inadequate to help me.

“Sorry, madam, I will have to refer your case to my colleague who manages content subscription and she will give you a call back later. Can I have your NUMBER please?”

Thu
15
May '08

Give me face lah

Superstar saez::

I cried today.

I have never cried in my life. Not even as a baby. When the doctor spanked my ass, I yelled some gibberish to him which sounded something like “touch me again, and I swear I’ll poop on your hand, Doc”.

A real man never cry. And those who know me, know that there are days when even my presence in the room can reduce hardened criminals to wussified pansies.

But today, I can’t control myself. The tears just followed.

I looked her in the eye and she leaned closer. “Shut your eyes” she said.

I did and then I felt it. Felt the pain like a thousand burning needles slammed right into my face. I clenched my fist and bit my lips, but the tears just keep on flowing. All these while, she never spoke a single word. Neither did I. There was nothing to say.

Before I turn to leave, she asked if I would like to come back and see her again.

Crazy woman.
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It all started 3 days ago when Sally called me excitedly over the phone to tell me that I’ve won a free 1 hour facial treatment. I don’t know any Facial Sally, but she sounded like she knew me. I sounded like I was hard-up for free facial.

We made a deal. 15th May. Date between Facial Sally and me.

So I was ushered into a nice cosy room. Told to lie down and wait. Sounds of waves and birds chipping played over hidden speakers from somewhere in the room. A short while later, a hot curvy chick sauntered in and told me what I was in for. “I will giving you a steaming facial to open up your porr. Then later I remove your blackhay and after that give you massage and mas.”

Whatever. I’ll take two of each if it’s free, thank you.

Well, if you have seen my photos before on posters and magazines, then you would probably notice that I’ve got quite a large nose. And you know what they say about men with large nose right?

Anyway…everything went well until she started on her “blackhay” removing procedure. I knew something wasn’t right when she held a weird looking metal contraption close to my face like a brain surgeon would to a skull.

I looked her in the eye and she leaned closer. “Shut your eye” she said.

Big nose = more surface area = more “blackhay” = more pain = more tears

At first I tried to be hero. I curled my toes and flexed my muscle, but when she got to the area where the nose meets the face, I felt my pee travel down my urinary tract, through my endless length of manhood and put a tiny stain on my boxers.

That’s when I shed a tear. Two tears. And then three.

She must have felt my body tense up, course she said in a really comforting tone. “It’s your first time, sure will hurt.” Hey woman, that’s my line! I was thinking that, but before my thoughts could process into witty remark, I felt the cold touch of her metal contraption on my nose and I blacked out. Well, I didn’t literally blacked out, but I must have been in so much trauma that my mind blocked out the next few passing minutes, because the next thing I know, she said “ok. Now time to put on the “mas”.”

Before I could figure what that was, something cold and gooey spread over my face. My eyes were still covered with some gauze like material. I know how people who were buried alive must have felt. After almost suffocating me with heavy goo, she left the room.

Alone. Brutalized and with facial mask seeping into my nostrils. (My big nose is going to get me killed someday.)

After what felt like 4 days, she finally came back in to the room to remove the mask. “Ok all done. You can get up now.”

I’m alive. I’m alive!

I jumped into my shoes, grab my bag and bolted for the door with every aching fiber of my body.

Before I turned to leave, she asked me quite coyly “would you like to come back again mister?”

Crazy woman.

Wed
14
May '08

Happiness Isn’t Hard too Find

Superstar says::

A man was fishing by the docks.

A fine young gentleman in crisp pin stripped suit walks up to the man and inquired politely, “what are you doing dear sir?”

“I am fishing of course.” The man replied.

“And why do you fish?” the fine young gentleman pressed on.

“Because I enjoy catching fishes, so that’s what I do.

“That is such a waste of time! You can turn your hobby into a money making venture. You can cast a net and catch more fishes”

“And what do I do with more fishes?” the man asked.

“Well you could sell them for a profit and use the money to buy trawlers to catch even more fishes.” The fine young gentleman replied rather impatiently.

“And what do I do with more fishes?” the man asked coolly.

“You sell them for even greater profits, buy over a fishing fleet and start your own company” the fine young gentleman said with a hint of annoyance.

Again the man asked, “And what do I do then?”

“Well, with all that money in the world, you don’t have to work any more and you can do anything you like”

“Like fishing?” The man asked.

“Like fishing.” The fine young gentleman replied

“Then,” the man said with a warm smile, “I have not wasted my time.”
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note: this story was related to me when i was a little kid and somehow it struck a chord in me. I didn’t understand it then as a child, but it makes perfect sense now. I can’t remember the story verbatim but i tried my best to relate it with my own version. Hope you like this one, Jac00. it’s a little different from the usual angsty articles. Go figure this one out.
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I leave you readers with this quote of the day. “contentment is just a better way of looking at resignation”

Fri
25
Apr '08

Don’t Tell Me Don’t

Superstar saez::

I’m a nice guy. On most days at least. It takes a lot to piss me off. Contrary to popular belief, I’m really not as intimidating as they make me out to be. Honest.

Only 2 things in life piss the crank out of me. Other than whiny girls, weaklings, doormats, morons, customer service hotline, unpunctuality, price hikes, indecisive folks, people who can’t speak English and people who chope their seats with packets of tissue paper.

Piss-me-off #1: Don’t tell me ‘Don’t’.
Firstly I don’t take kindly to people who force their ideals and beliefs down my throat. This goes out mainly to all religious fanatics, MLM agents and our beloved parents. Secondly, it really drives me up the wall when people start telling me NOT to feel this way, NOT to feel that way, NOT to eat this, NOT to eat that.

Just the other day, something tickled my nose and I had to sneeze and sneeze I did. I enjoyed every moment of it. From the time of the built up, to the muscle contraction to riding the wave of the sneeze equivalent of an orgasm, I enjoyed every freaking minute of that sneeze. Mum came up to me and said “Don’t sneeze lah.”

God damn. I’m sorry. Excuse me. Maybe I offended you with my thunderous sneeze, but I can’t help it can I? Hey, wise crack, how about you NOT piss after 10 jugs of beer. You don’t get to cast that first stone.

Out with my friend the other day. Concern. Caring. Doting. Whatever. No body tells a man to NOT eat his chicken skin. Especially one from KFC. The good Colonel did not go out of the way to put in his secret blend of herbs and spices just so you can throw it away dipshit. Respect the colonel, bitch.

If I keel over and die from a heart attack cause my arteries are clogged, so be it. Here’s a news flash, sweetheart, you’re going to die too someday. At least with smoking and fatty food, I know exactly how I’m going to go. And for the record, not every smoker is going to end up looking like the picture on cigarette cartons. Jaywalking across Wisma will yield the same effect if you ain’t careful.

Just today. 5mins ago. A hot but annoying friend called to say hi. Being hot has it privileges. I gave her 3mins talk time out of my busy schedule. “Hey honey, why so curt? Don’t be grumpy.” She said in a high pitched, annoyingly bubbly tone.

Don’t. Be. Grumpy.

Let’s analyze this. First the speaker assumes that me being grumpy is a personal choice. I woke up one morning, look into my cupboard and decide which mood to put on. What to wear, what to wear? Then the speaker assumes authority over me and demands, request or persuade me to cease being in my present emotional state. So…just because you say Don’t be grumpy, my frown will magically turn up into a smile?

“It’s easy to just shrug your shoulders and say “don’t.” A real friend will take action. Do something. Truly honey, if you really want to cheer me up, put the money where your mouth is.”

Guys, the next time your girl throws a PMS-ic fit, turn over and tell her “Don’t be PMS-ic. Don’t.” That will probably get you a knee between the balls and night out on the couch. But hey, at least you’d get my respect.

Mon
14
Apr '08

Top 10 Ways to Get Over The Muthafucker

An excerpt from a conversation I had with my friends last week on 2 separate occasions. One’s a dumpee and the other’s the dumper.

Dumpee: Yeah, so anyway I ceased contacting her and moved on with my life. What else can I do? It’s not like she’s going to come back to me or anything. I’m going to take this opportunity to meet more people, catch up with my friends and just have some alone time.

Me: True. True. Cheers.

We clink our bottles together and sat in comfortable silence

Dumper: He never called back after the breakup! What the hell?! How can he move on so fast? It’s almost as if he didn’t care. I knew it. He never loved me. That bastard. The last I heard he’s out seeing people.

Me: But you dumped him.

Dumper: Yeah, but shouldn’t he try to get me back?

Me: But you dumped him for someone else.

Dumper: He could at least try. At least I’ll know he loved me.

Me: But you stopped loving him.

Dumper: Aiyah! You don’t understand lah. I hate him, I hate him!

Payback’s a bitch. Nothing says “eat shit and die muthafucker” better than a nonchalant oh-too-cool-to-care attitude. Hating is as good as loving. It’s a form of extreme emotion that puts you in a vulnerable position.

You probably get good advice like start a new hobby and take a vacation from friends. While these all work out fine, they are hardly fun. Your ex is probably going to turn to his/her new squeeze and go “so poor thing ah. I feel sorry for my ex. Tsk tsk.”

Do it the Superstar way for a guaranteed payback. 9 out of 10 Dumpers will tell you that they are not affected by the list below and are in fact happy for their Dumpee. Only 1 is honest.

10 Ways to Piss Your Ex and Look Good Doing It. (Aka Top 10 Ways to Get Over The Muthafucker.)

10. Don’t give a shit about the breakup. Act like it means nothing to you. Even if it does, don’t show it.

9. Call you ex by his/her first name. That should be a refreshingly shocking change. And say it like you’ve been doing it forever.

8. Call your ex by another name and go “oops. Sorry. It’s just that YOU remind me of HIM/HER”. This works every-fucking-time. It just kills the other person inside.

7. Laugh it off.

6. Date your ex’s friend. It doesn’t have to be anything serious, just occasional meet up is enough to piss your ex off.

5. Call your ex to ask about this nice restaurant that he/she brought you to before. Sound excited and be in a rush to put down.

4. Get attached. For guys, find a girl that’s hotter than your ex. The new one doesn’t need to have more brains. Just pick one with bigger boobs and a decent face. For girls, find a man that drives a better car.

3. Go work that body out. Make your Ex drool at the new you.

2. Gush to your common friends about how good your new one is in bed. You never knew what orgasm felt like until today.

1. Make a homemade porn clip and send it to us. We would be more than happy to give you airtime on our blog. Need a partner? Drop us a comment.

Sun
6
Apr '08

Top 10 Signs You Are Going To Get Your Candy-Ass Dumped

Superstar says::
So here are Gene’s top 10 lists on identifying and surviving relationship fuck-ups. Follow these easy steps and you’ll be problem-free like me.

    Top 10 Signs You Are Going To Get Your Candy-Ass Dumped.

10. He/She starts to dress up differently. New thongs, sexier outfit, and watch out for the hair. The girls will almost always try something new with the hair. If you guys have been together for years and she only started to dress in exceptionally low cut top and figure hugging dresses, I bet you my left ball she isn’t doing it for you.

9. Your partner no longer calls you [insert word of endearment here] and when you point that out, he/she simply replies “you’re just being oversensitive” but still no mention of [insert word of endearment here].

8. Your partner no longer laughs at your jokes or silly antics but instead finds them annoying.

7. You tell him/her that you’re going out with another girl/guy to catch a movie. Your partner goes “have fun.” Clear sign he/she no longer feels anything for you.

6. He/She starts hanging on to his/her mobile phone for his/her dear life. Every SMS gets replied to immediately while your messages to him/her takes hours to get back to you, and even so, its short, curt and without effort.

5. He/She tells you that I’m going out to meet a friend, and NO, you can’t come along because said friend wants to talk in private about something personal.

4. Oh its already 10pm, its too late to go out with you because he/she has to wake up early tomorrow, but makes an exception when a friend calls him/her to meet under him/her block for a short while of three hours. This also applied to telephone conversations.

3. He/She suddenly becomes more knowledgeable about things you guys never talked about. He/She has even gone on to take up a new hobby.

2. “I need a vacation.” Alarm bells should go off when you here this line. It is different from “WE need a vacation.” The guys usually don’t pick this up fast enough. By the time she actually goes through with the vacation, you can kiss the relationship good bye. The girls are a lot more astute on this one. Usually, the plans get unraveled before the guy has the chance to even think of a destination.

1. “I don’t feel like blowing anymore.” Yes, yes. The culmination of all relationships. It’s over. The end. Roll credits. Chicks in general like to suck dick. Even if they hate sucking dick, she will do it for the guy she loves. Now, if she tells you those 6 simple words, you know you’re going to be well acquainted with Mrs. Palmer and her 5 daughters in the days to follow.

Ladies and gents. Are these signs apparent in your relationship? I’m not particularly in favor of the Salvage-The-Relationship school of thought when these 10 signs are a-showing.

Dignity, ladies and gents. Whatever you do, never grovel and beg. Nothing says Fuck You Right Back like…

Next article: Top 10 Ways to Get Over The Muthafucker.

I leave you gentle readers with this beautiful quote from Jim Butcher’s White Night. It goes out to the girl I saw getting dumped at City Hall, it goes out to my friend who was crying buckets on my shoulder two nights ago and it goes out to my other friend who has moved on to a new man in life but can’t forget the old.

Pain is part of life. Sometimes it’s a bigger part, and sometimes it isn’t, but either way, it’s part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does 2 things: It teaches you, tells you that you’re alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.
- Jim Butcher; White Night.

Fri
4
Apr '08

And now introducing….

Ladies and Gentlemen,

It gives me great pressure to announce a merger, of sorts, with another great writer aptly named SuperStar!

SS will be updating on a much more regular basis than I am.

That won’t be too difficult to achieve lah.

I hope you’ll enjoy SS sense of humour and sacarsm, as much as I’d have over the years.

Please be nice. SS has a fragile ego.

'

Mad Season

Superstar Says::
There are tons of self-help books out there telling you how to handle relationships, breakups, singlehood, marriage, etc, but nothing prepares you for the real brute force of an emotional trauma like being in the situation yourself. That’s when all logic and reasons go out the window. You’re upset, you’re upset, and that’s nothing you can do about it.

Lately there has been a breakup epidemic going on. Heartbreak Hotel is fully booked to capacity. This is a phenomenon which occurs predominantly in the first quarter of the year. I’ve got my own conspiracy theory about this, but it isn’t worth much to talk about.

So anyway, 3 days in a row, back to back, I had to field questions to which the enquirer already has the answers too. As I said, logic and reason doesn’t apply.

Scenario 1: Girl breaks up with Boy. Both can’t find closure until girl starts seeing someone else. Boy upset.

Scenario 2: Boy likes Girl. Girl plays hard to get. Boy moves on to find someone else. Girl upset.

Scenario 3: Unmarried Girl likes Married Man. Unmarried Girl is upset that she means nothing to Married Man. Unmarried Girl’s in a fit of rage throws herself at Married Man and later confesses to boyfriend. Boyfriend upset. Unmarried Girl upset. Married Man gets 1x free pussy. Happy.

At least there’s one happy ending.

Next article: Top 10 Signs You Are Going To Get Your Candy-Ass Dumped.

Tue
1
Apr '08

Give me a sign

Superstar says::

It’s the 4th anniversary of my 25th birthday. Woopie doo.

Each year I fall into a bout of depression in the weeks leading up to my birthday and it gets worse as the days draw closer. It’s the one time a year i whine like a bitch. I get unreasonable, short fused and highly sensitive. And don’t tell me that “oh, it’s okay for guys to be older, blah blah blah.” I’m not upset about growing old, I’m just upset. Period. I am aware of these emotions, but I’m unable to do anything to prevent myself from reacting negatively. I’m sure the girls can empathize with me.

Note to self: that was really uncool, Gene. You need to de-pussify yourself damnit.

This year’s depressive streak is quite different. Intense. Darker. Almost sentient.

A couple of years ago, I set out to create a business from scratch. It was supposed to be my ticket to financial and personal freedom. To be able to choose my own destiny and mould other’s destiny along with mine.

Some things have got to give in order to achieve greater glory. Freedom has a price and I’m willing to pay for it. I stopped hanging out with my friends because that would mean wasting time and good money on alcohol. I stopped learning to play the guitar because that time spent could be put to better use developing the business. The Relationship has got to take the backseat for the time being. If she truly loves me, she’ll wait. After all, we’ve been together for a while, what’s a little longer?

2008. Today. Time has put a distant between my buddies and I. Sometimes we try to “catch up” and relive the old times but the feeling just isn’t the same. It’s forced pretense at its best. My guitar is covered with dust, the wood warped and its string broken. Pretty much a reflection of what I have become. If my guitar could talk, she’d probably say the same thing when she looked at me. Dusty, out of tune and entirely warped. Relationship ended sometime last year. I’m not sure when it withered out, but by the time she actually spoke to me about it, it was too freakin’ late.

Business took off somewhat. I have enough contracts in my lap to run the business for the year smoothly. (Of cause ‘smoothly’ isn’t exactly smooth because our dear God has a cruel sense of humor.)

Sweet smell of freedom… but I ain’t breaking into a song and dance anytime soon. Finally taking the time to raise my head from the blueprint of my life, I see nothing around me. Bleak.

I need to do something but I don’t have a plan yet. A friend over MSN suggested I seek answers through Him. Can’t go wrong with that. So I did.

Dear God, I need to get out of this rut. Now, I know you’re not big on direct answers and you work in mysterious of ways. But for Chirst’s sake, could you just tell it to me in my face what I…

*ding* MSN window pops up….

Holy mother of god….

'


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Sat
15
Mar '08

Heaven must have…

broken the mould and spent an entire month on this guy.

DAVID ARCHULETA.

He’s 16.
He’s goodlooking.
He’s humble.
He’s likeable.
He sings like an angel.

Need more reasons?

At home with David:

A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton
(everytime i hear this, i cant help but imagine 2 White on Black Chicks swaying their blonde hair to the piano)

Audition Round:

Heaven by Bryan Adams

American Idol:

Imagine by John Lennon

Wed
12
Mar '08

And I thought I was invincible.

No one in my family had it.

Not my 70 year old parents, nor my late 30s sisters, definitely not young, healthy full of life me.

It must have been in our DNA that we are immune to chicken pox.

But noooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I have to be the mutant of the family.

The first to kena chicken pox.

It started out innocently enough. A few little red spots, resembling dust mites or mosquito bites.

Then they start itching. And swelling. And bubbling over like red hot lava.

And then…..

They multiply.

Almost hundreds of these start popping up all over my body!
On my tummy, all over my back, along my spine!
How can this happen!
TO ME!!

To the oh-i’m-so-damn-vain-i-put-the-devil-to-shame me!

All my teenage life, I’ve spent 10 good years battling acne.
It’s almost as if now, they’ve gathered all their long lost relatives, twice-removed cousins and the entire extended family, and came back with a vengance.

The war is on, my old friend.

Sun
9
Mar '08

Animal Planet

Perhaps I should apply for Discovery Animal Planet to be a wildlife photographer.

Re-introducing Cosworth “Cozzie” Lim!

I’ve always loved photographing Cozzie. He’s very handsome, from every angle and each photo, he seem to emote!

“DROP THE COOKIE AND I’LL RELEASE THE BEAR!”

He must be the original “THE DOG”

And hereby introducing the newcomer,

SUSHI MCGURRAN!
The adopted child of Mark, she’s staying with cozzie while her human pets went away.

She was resuced from SPCA in the first week of 2008, at only 3 months old, the German Pointer mix is still learning the rules of living with humans.

And you wonder why they call it “a dog’s life”.

Fri
7
Mar '08

It’s that time of the year again…

TO FILE YOUR INCOME TAX!

Please, I urge all of you, to file on time.

I’ve learnt my lesson last year and I will be watching the clock.

When I received my IR8 form, I didn’t have to pay any tax, because obviously, a small fry NUS graduate like me don’t earn enough to pay tax lah.

So, I thought, ok lah end of story.

*fast forward a few months later*

I received a letter in the mail, informing me that due to my negligience in not filing for income tax, I’ve to pay a fine of $50.

That’s when i realised that even though I didn’t have to pay, I still have to declare my income.

I went online and filled out the forms, returning a $0.00 to the taxman and then completely forgot about the fine I had to pay.

That is until, I received another letter reminding me to pay the $50 fine, otherwise I’ll get a court summons.

Begrudingly, I went to the AXS machine to cough up the $50 fine.

Despite not even earning enough the past year to pay a single cent of income tax, no one can avoid the tax man.

And that, is my contribution to Singapore’s S$6 billion Budget Surplus.

天理何在aaaaaah!!

Wed
5
Mar '08

If you see him…

It has to take a escaped JI ring leader to get me to write again.

I personally believe he might no longer be in SG anymore.
Cause if he is, our men will pull him out of hiding.
Afterall, where can he hide! Singapore so small and we only have one Bukit Timah forest.

Nonetheless, I was quite spooked when I had to take a cab alone after midnight. I kept wondering if he’s gonna pop up around the corner, or from beneath the flyover or grab me from behind and take me hostage!
The more I thought, the more I got scared lor!
Thankfully, at that moment, a lone cab came up the road.
I was so paranoid, I even thought the taxi driver could be one of those serial killer from B-grade horror movies.

**************************************************************************************

From the latest season of Prison Break,

There is a theory which suggests that he may already be dead. “Accidental death during interrogation”

Picture this. Interrogation room.

He sits slumped in a chair.

Officer 1: Aiya, die lah. I think he’s dead!

Officer 2: See lah! Told you don’t shine the light so bright, dont tie the hands so tight, beat him slight can liao! Now HOW!

*Officer 3 enters the room*

Officer 3: Eh guys, his family is here. They want to see him.

Officer 1: ALAMAK! HOW LIDAAT!

Officer 2: AH! I know! We just say he escaped lah!

Mon
24
Dec '07

Mr Right?

Maybe i had and let him go.

Mon
19
Nov '07

ah lian ah lian

I’ve never done a hair show before.

That is until now.

And i guess, i was right about not doing hair shows before.

See, when i auditioned for the paul mitchell show, they said minimal cut and the colors will be rich dark colours.

Sounds good.

On the day itself, i got my hair trimmed and layered.

Then the stylist whipped out the bleach.

wwooooaaah.

Hold your horses.

bleach?

“Ah don’t worry, trust me ok. the colours will be nice one. dark purple and blue, then the rest of your hair is blue black. Very dark one. dont worry.”

sibeh lian lor. my virgin bleach

So the colours were all mixed and thankfully, they DID look quite dark.

I was relieved.

Temporarily.

“Eh…i think hor the blue and purple very close. Cannot really tell the difference. I give you a dark pink ok?”

pp..pppinkkk???

Ok la, i thought. Just pink and purple streaks beneath that dark hair.

Not that bad lah…..hor?

buey tahan lah! so old already still pink streaks. trying to act young ijjit!

chao ah lian.

Thu
8
Nov '07

is it safe anymore?

I remember writting GP essays about the impact of globalisation and the teachers always advised us to take a stand whether supportive or not, because the examiners will want to see that the student actually is capable of thinking for themselves yaadaa yaadaaa daa.

And i think i said it was a good thing because, well, we can now watch American sitcoms while choosing to ignore the slavery and starvation going on in other parts of the world that we can’t name!

I should have known, then, that Newton was always right.
For every action, there is an equal and OPPOSITE reaction.

Sure globalisation brings the whole world closer.
But is proximity a good thing?

Maybe, if you can have a 7-11 at every corner.
And 24-hr MacDonald’s delivery.

So where’s the opposite reaction?

Yesterday, yet another high school shooting. This time in Finland.

And the shooter, allegedly put up his own videos on YouTube. Footage of him practising his marksmenship, broadcasting his plans proudly to the rest of the world.

Blatantly.

So, a coin has two sides and a blade cuts both ways.
The globalisation portal allows transmission of the good AND the bad.
Our every move, however little, now have a much bigger possible impact than before.

Are we able to discern?

Fri
2
Nov '07

it’s no secret

…..that i absolutely adore ACS boys.

I almost ran after this car.

Wed
31
Oct '07

doncha!

doncha wish your girlfriend was HOT like we!

doncha wish your girlfriend was sweeet like weeeee!

DONCHAAAAA

Sat
20
Oct '07

excuse me, are you….

this is really weird.

earlier this year, i was standing along neil road, opposite keong siak, trying to flag a cab home after work.

a saloon car slowed down and wind down his window.
the driver leaned over to say, “Hi excuse me, are you celeste?”

well, if it was a flashy car or a very cute driver, i could be anyone he damn right want me to be, but since he nor the car was desirable, i simply said, “No, i am not celeste.”

as he drove off, i thought he might have mistaken me for one of those girls who walk the street. afterall, keong siak IS adjacent to where i was standing.

last week, my first visit to lunar, the latest offering at CQ.

happily dancing to the tunes of A-mei and FIR, this beng beng guy came to chat me up.

first question he asked, “er…ass skew me ah, are you celeste?”

OK NOW. WHO IS THIS CELESTE THAT I AM SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE.

im pretty sure it wasnt her they were referring to.

Fri
5
Oct '07

raaataaatooooweeeeeeee

I think i must have caught on to the cooking trend pretty fast. With all the focus now on culinary skills, especially fine dining, not just your hawker fare, i’m just in time to showoff my new found teacher!

May i present to you, Chef Angelo!

The mastermind behind some of the best restuarants in Singapore! Michelangelos, Sistina, Original Sin, Zambuca and his own cooking school, Bentfork.
Normally, how high up the ranking a man is, can be gauged by the number of “stars” and “crabs” on his shoulder.
In this case, it’s a matter of how many “iron-on-stickers” of sponsors you can have up your sleeve.

Born in Australia to Italian parents and having set up his own family here, Chef has accustomed to Singapore very well.
Obviously a natural beng, he’s all decked out in gold.

Even his earrings are gold.
You know what they say about men with earrings.
They can buy jewellery and they’ve experienced pain. Best types to marry.

The good thing about being a celebrity chef is, you can anyhow cook and people will still say it’s yummy.

You can demonstrate funky skills like flambe. Pan on fire.

You can also burn an entirely fresh capsicum on an open gas stove.

See? All black and burnt, but still can serve. Just say that it enhances the aroma of the red capsicum.
Throw in other random facts like “doesn’t work as well with the green, better if the red was a little aged and not fresh” and be sure to sound totally nonchalent and people will fall for it, hook, line and sinker.

Actually i find it rather easy to prepare the dishes on the menu. Alot of it have to do with getting the garnishes and sauces right.

For example, buy a slab of prime meat. Heat your pan and lightly sear the surface all around.
Then you can put it in the fridge while you prepare the garnishes on top.
Blend whatever you want. Herbs, olive oil, cream, seasonings, anything that you like.
Cut the meat and smack the dressing on top.

Do the same for the portabello mushrooms. Roast it, make the dressings with different ingredients then waalaaa!

The main things i’ve learnt and taken away from this class is pretty much similar to Remy the rat and his mentor Gusteau, anyone can cook simply because:

1. There is no right/wrong ingredients or volume, everything just try.
What we call “aga-ration“. Just aga aga (read: estimate).
2. Use only FRESH ingredients
3. It’s ALL in the presentation.

See the before and after side by side?

There’s a superbly yummy dish which i absolutely relish.

The seafood timbale is made up of, duh, seafood lah.
Timbale, is a tower or some conical vertical thingie.
TIMMMMBAAA LEH!

Just get a hollow cone, and stuff the base with chopped raw tuna, pressing it firmly, followed by a layer of chopped avocado, and topping the layer with crabmeat. Fridge it then serve. minus the cone.
This dish hardly need any seasoning because all you really want is the fresh sweetness of the seafood. Just some lemon juice for a zang and some pepper perhaps?
Really entirely up to you.

The tower looks a little bit unstable and crumbly on its own. In fact not very appetising.
But!!
Put in on a HUGE plate, drizzle some sauce on the plate, designed to your fancy, and WAALAAA!

Fine Dining!

Like wise, this scallop dish. Wa lau. How easy can.

Ingredients: Scallop and burnt capsicum

Jus pan seared the scallops till they brown on the sides.

Place them in cute little spoons sitting on strips of capsicum.

Present.

See, I now realise that cooking is alot like life.

Alot of things are seemingly elaborate, but actually is done very simply and with the most basic skills.
It’s all in the presentation

Alot of things is really up to you, whether you will enjoy it or not.
Add any seasonings you like.

Alot of things is also up to your own judgement, not necessarily must go by the book.
Just aga aga lah.

And lastly, always finish your day with some quality wine and good company.

Wed
3
Oct '07

survival instincts!

1st year anniversary of surviving the HIJACK!

early morning sms Angie and Jamie to remind them of our ordeal together.

see, nothing like fear bonds people together.

pop the champagne! time to parteee and live it up!

************************************************************

And, another commemorative event….

I swam! I managed to swim! YES! Without a float! After 27 years!
A mere 4m i guess, with breastroke,but hey it’s a start for a hydrophobic!

*Kick pull breathe kick pull breathe struggle struggle drink water spit*

Fri
28
Sep '07

Madame White Snake 白蛇傳

I looooove snakes.

They are one of the most beautiful creatures, in my opinion.

Never mind that they were never one of God’s favorite creation and have often been protrayed as vicious. No thanks to B-grade movies like Anaconda and Snakes on a plane.

There’s just something about their muscular yet sleekness, the cold smooth scales, the discerning look in their eyes and the ever so lithe flick of their tongue on your face as they squeeze size you up.

No wonder they are legendary.

Fri
21
Sep '07

it’s a tight fit!

i absolutely ADORE this corset.

tried it on at POIS paragon, the sales girl was so enthusiastic about it, gushing about how beautiful it is, how intricate the handicraft is and i TOTALLY AGREE WITH HER.

“it’s a little loose for you around the back, we can alter for you one, dont worry.”

“er…are there extra costs?”


“No no there isn’t! We do for you free alteration. It’s very nice, looks very good on you know.”

of course i know!! it is beautiful!

“err..how much is this?”

*turns around to check price tag*


“Oh this one is only $1,489. I can bring the other ones to show you, more expensive ones.”

huuuhh! $1.5K for a top! and it’s not the most expensive one?!

“err….let me shop around and think about it?”


“Want me to reserve it for you? Then you can come back and get it tomorrow if you want.”

At this point, she seemed so sure that she’s gonna close this sale.

I must either be a) damn good at acting or b) it’s the natural “tai tai” aura i possess.

Tue
18
Sep '07

some of the crazy things i do…

After reading on Kenny’s blog entry about chipster contest, i set out to create my own CHIPSTER MOMENT.

Browsing through the available backgrounds to superimpose my beautiful photos on, I started to work on the THEMES.

Yes. I actually brainstormed on the themes.

Background #1 A Shark.

This came easy enough.

JAWS the movie of course!

*********************************************************************

Background #2 A Mummy

TOMB RAIDER what else!

******************************************************************

Background #3 Frankenstein

This took a while but the soul of Morticia took over me.

ADAM’S FAMILY!

**************************************************************
So with all these movie themes in mind, i set to work.

First, i had to convince a new friend to use his new SLR, and shoot me in some weirdass themes and a bag of chipster.

It wasn’t easy but hey, if i can sell bikinis to eskimos, i can get away with anything.

So I dragged Rex to an open field just outside my home and we set to shoot.

Sharks should instill fear…but still must look good mah so get dressed in a bikini!

I may not have Lara Croft’s tits nor gear but i can still kick ass!

Dug up an old halloween get up and in and instant became queen of the night…

And thus, after nights of brainstorming and photoshoot and finally editing on Chipster site itself….

The BLOCKBUSTER MOVIES starring Mia Tan and her Chipster!

JAWS IV: The Killer Crunch

The deep blue sea buries rich treasures in her bed, it is the chipster gold to be behold!
Watch as undercover agent Mia braves the shark infested water to retrieve the buried gold!

==================================================================

TOMB RAIDER 3: The Treasure Chip

Secrets from ancient times are hidden amongst the tombs and mazes. Guarded by immortal mummies, the treasure chipster is the desire of many adventurers.
Only the worthy will possess it!

==================================================================

TALES FROM THE CRISP

The vampire bats from the dark night is set to wreak havoc for the craving of chipsters fuels them to retrieve it for their mistress, Miaticia, Queen of the Night.

=======================================================================

After putting in so much effort into the contest, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE head to

http://www.chipster.com.my/

and VOTE FOR ME!!

wahahahaha!!!

Only if you think my polariods are the best!!

You DO know they are.

Thu
13
Sep '07

diamonds are a girl’s best friend

The French are glad to die for love.
They delight in fighting duels.
But I prefer a man who lives
And gives expensive jewels

Men grow cold
As girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end.

But square-cut or pear-shaped,
These rocks don’t loose their shape.
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.

******************************************************

How can i disagree, all that glitters may not be gold, but all that matters is what it holds.

And I’m beginning to love the diamonds encrusted by the gold!

Behold!

it’s sooooo beee youuuu teee foool……………………….

sigh.

The only imperfection is that this ring was not bought by a perfect man.

It was however, bought by a perfect woman.

Me.

Unlike other lucky women, sillycelly for example, I had picked out the ring myself and in a very classic moment, whipped out a card and said the advert tag line, “NETS it.”

Who said money can’t buy happiness.
It certainly made 2 people happy.

The SK jewellery salesgirl and me!

Browsing at the new SK store in T2 Changi Airport, I was looking at the sales display.

Of course, I wasn’t planning to get married or even attest to the increasingly common belief that every independent woman should buy herself jewellery.

No sir! I’d still like my jewellery to be bought by men, thank you very much.

But in events such as this, one has no choice but to buy her own.

A total of 18 diamonds, with 16 weighing in at 0.25 carats and the other 2 at 0.05 carats, it was a grand total diamond weight of 0.30!!

WAAAAH!

I asked if she had it in my ring size of 13.

She checked and found only other one and it is a perfect fit!

At that moment, I wondered how much it’ll cost me.
Glancing at the other pieces on display, the prices had at least 4 figures listed.

*gulp*

I asked the girl how much does the ring cost?

She took it out of the cabinet and flipped the price tag before announcing it was S$779.

*gulp*

Then she added, before discount.

And it was sitting right there in the 70% discount display!

I’ll NETs it.”

Mon
10
Sep '07

don’t be a pussy!

Today has been a terribly rainy day and we all know that coupled with a Monday, that gets everyone down.

But everyday is a new day so let’s start with learning a new word today!

PUSILLANIMOUS.

ahuh ahuh. Big word huh, and nope, it is not made up of the words pertaining to pussy nor lan nor animals nor enormous.

You’ve first seen me use this word in my previous post.

Yes that’s right. I’m putting to use what i learn!

So to learn about this word and others such as FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION,
I have appointed a hot hot hot english teacher!


Hope this perks “up” your Monday!

Remember, a new word everyday!

Sun
9
Sep '07

When in doubt, simply smile and say, World Peace.

This is a special dedication to aVerRumble, in reply the comment left on the entry of Miss Singapore World ‘07.

Name: aVerRumbLe | E-mail: tsre@rumjungle.com | IP: 219.93.237.26

ugly girls unite!

Posted Sep 1, 8:22 AM |

====================================================

Ugly girls unite?
You may think it’s laughable that the girls have more breasts than brains but either way, they have more than you.

If you’ve the got the balls, participate.
Don’t just sit on your fat ass and pretend you can take the heat.
Cause your fragile self esteem and self worth can’t handle humiliation with grace.

Pusillanimous, that’s what you are.


Tue
4
Sep '07

my bonnie lies over the ocean…

Last weekend, i packed my bags and went on a well-deserved trip with my best friend Shu.

Wanted to go for a spa holiday and having heard so much about the cheap and very authentic spa in nearby Batam, where else better to go right!

Did some research online and found this resort KTM resort which is built by one of the construction kings, KOH Brothers, in Singapore. It looked amazingly rustic, overlooking the sea and at $103 for a package, it was a steal!

When we first arrived at the resort, well….”rustic” is the best description.

It was quite dilapidated and very sparse. Other than a tiny go-karting circuit, and i really mean tiny, and a few of the staff fishing where the restuarant sits over the sea, it was very desserted.

Maybe because we arrived on a Monday morning.

But the view was beautiful.

How the outside world looked from our room in the morning.

It overlooks a lagoon, beyond that a breakwater where the spa villa sits and furthur out is the deep blue sea.

We had a twin sharing cottage on stilts.
There were bigger 2 storey cottages up the hill from where we were for family of 4.

The room, is at best, quaint.
Very basic bed, pillows, tv, aircon and shower facilities.
Nothing to shout about.
Except for the balcony where we can sit out and enjoy the view while feeding mosquitoes.

And since it was early morning, there was nothing to do but laze around in the room, watching old reruns on tv and flipping magazines.

Lunch was a simple meal of a fried rice and plate of tofu shared between the 2 of us and we took a walk exploring the compounds.

I had brought my bikinis wanting to show off my new swim strokes but i realised i forgot to bring my float.

That plus the water of the pool was the same colour as the lagoon. Green.
eew.

Nonetheless, we were all looking forward to the 90min spa included in the package!

At 530pm, we walked over to the spa villa and boy were we stunned by the parlour.

Each of the room are meant for couples, so it came complete with a 2 person jaccuzi tub and massage tables.

As we sat in the bubbly prepared jacuzzi, the sun was setting over the sea, with a faint backdrop of Singapore.

Aaaaahhh bliss.

The one hour massage was very good and thoroughly roused my entire body, blood cruising through every inch of muscle.

Aaaaah!

I find it really difficult to sleep through a massage, partly because the kneading sorta mixes pain with pleasure and most part because I feel bad that someone is exerting themselves physically to service me solely for that hour.

What the heck lah. It was great!!!

Dinner saw cereal prawn, tofu and veg on the table for a grand total of S$16!!!

Day two was the city tour and it started raining so we hardly did much walking, except to visit 2 temples, one polo tee shop, dried foods and souvenir shops before finally hitting the shopping malls.

There are a total of 17,500 islands in indonesia and this one you can buy for 5000 rupiah.

We saw it over the 彩虹桥, a lone island in the middle of the sea amidst other bigger lands, supporting a couple of coconut trees.

The 彩虹桥 is basically made up of 5 bridges linking up 6 islands so you literally can travel from one island to another!

As for shopping, we outdid outselves and lugged back a 1.5kg kueh lapis each, along with a box of instant indomie and i FOUND THE FAMOUS JCo donuts at the batam ferry shopping centre!!

DONUTS!!!

C’mon. Why nut?
I really Tira Miss U.

I’ve not had it before so it was our virgin buy.
It ranks yummy enough on my scale but no way am i battling the to-die-for snaking queues for it.

And then with all that extra weight on us, we half ran and half dragged the stuff for the 7.30pm ferry and homeward bound!!!

Thu
30
Aug '07

here comes the queen!

This is just gonna be a photoblog.

Over the weekend, we gatecrashed the Miss Singapore World 07 Pageant at Meritus Mandarin.

Man. It was TWO years ago since I participated and it still felt like yesterday!

Still remember the panic when first stepping on stage.

The frenzy of changing clothes backstage.

Especially the “What-if-i-forget-my-steps-or-fall-on-my-face” thought that keeps racing through my mind.

And of course…the announcement.

The media fest surrounding the crowning itself is exhilarating!

Ahh…those bittersweet memories.

Well, the experience belongs to the new batch of contestants now.

For veterans like us, we spent most of our time goofing and camwhoring off stage!

Group shot with all the Mr Singapores who chaperon the girls on stage.

Our darling Robert, who always shielded us from gossips, bitching and scolding from the organisers, arranged for press and what more can i say. He’s a gem.


Presenting the veteran pageant queens!


Melissa and Xiaoqi!


And Joanna, making yet another appearance. That girl’s everywhere!

oops.

i forgot.

the actual winner.

Cliche but true. We are ALL winners!

Mon
20
Aug '07

aiyo… 好帅哦

at the risk of being called a bimbo again…(what’s new right)….

he is so cute i can just eat him.

aiya link wrongly.
not kenny la.

i mean him.

he is soooo cute. looks like a more asiani-sed version of UTT (who has a crush on me).

That was 3 weeks ago when Kenny was in town.
And thanks to Kenny who, at the risk of being branded gay, boldly went up to Mr. Oh-So-Cute and asked if he could get a photo. Thought i saw his face light up.

Saw him again at the Skylounge on friday.

Fate, i tell you.

And i don’t even know his name.

Wed
15
Aug '07

Chef Mama Mia!

Sure not? So simple meh.

Actually hor, i think hor, the creme brulee is just a more atas version of the Portugese egg tart.

Don’t know who copied who though.

The French copied the Portugese egg mix, did away with the time consuming pastry puff, gave it a french name, sold it in overly priced small portions and taadaaa, a winning recipe!

The Portugese copied the French egg mix, added the crumble-in-your-mouth pastry puff, made it widely available with economical value added pricing and taadaaa, a winning recipe!

Aiyo, very jialat ok.

I tried making the creme brulee twice, first time i measured the amount of cream wrongly.
Second time it was slightly overcooked so instead of soft creme, i had slightly pudding-ish creme.

I think better to stick to the real thing lah.

Fri
10
Aug '07

Happeee Birthday Singapore!

I went through my old blog entries and dug up this A-Z list of Uniquely Singapore traits.
Some of it has passed its prime but most are still relevant!

A- Annabelle Chong; What more can I say? Singapore’s very own golden girl who placed us in the Guinness book of records. So Durex says that we Singaporeans are an unadventurous bunch. Look at our darling. She takes it in every other orifice possible! Respect to ma girl. You take my pants off everyone.

B-Bengs; Act like punks, whine like bitches. Roystan Tan’s Fifteen says it all for our local boys. Flashy, Hokkien rapping lyrical about brotherhood. Long fringe is a must. Couple that with a long baby fingernail for that occasional ear digging. Oh oh and the sure fire way to spot a Beng. Look out for the orange comb sticking out of the back pocket.

C- Changi airport; Our pride and joy. Usually the first and last impression left on tourists, Changi Airport has won international recognition in being the BEST AIRPORT IN THE WORLD!!!! i definitely know i’m home everytime i see the familiar outline against our sky. My favorite place in the world.

D- Durian; so loved by locals we bring in durians from malaysia and thailand and hawk them all year round at Geylang. we even made one of our national icon based on the thorny fruit. You either love it or hate it. There’s no room for in betweens.

E- Eating places; Singapore boasts to be the food hub. We may not have the best food, but it is true when it comes to the number of eateries we have here in Singapore. We have one diner at every corner. If you happen to be hungry at night, chances are, there is a 24 hour eatery somewhere near you.

F- Flora and Fauna; garden city that’s what we are. every overhead bridge is decorated with bougainvilla bushes. all our roads are sidelined with shady trees and shrubs. Amazingly, our trees never seem to shed their leaves for the cleaners make sure that it’s all cleaned up. Bats fly by every night and sparrows chirp every morning. what a heavenly place to be in. relatively clean air and spotless environment. awwww. i love mother nature.

G - Government; while it is safe to say that each government is unique in its own way, no other government can rival ours in terms of honesty, corruption-free and payroll. So far our leaders have delivered what they have promised, their record of corruption is as white as their uniform. Strong will, Strong Money, and Strong Punishment are the main cause for a near perfect legislation

H- HDB; Nowhere else in the world can these compact housing be found. Made out of the same mould, HDB estates can serve as a maze playground for the orcs or minotaurs.

I- Import; As long as it’s foreign stuff, it’s good stuff. Singapore itself is small and has little resources, thus we built our nation on import and export trade, capitalizing on our only resource, humans. but even now that is being outsourced as foreign talents flood our countries, edging the rest of us out.

J-Jack Neo; Steven Spielberg cross Whoopi Goldberg with a trait of a Lao(read:old) Beng(refer point B). Local comedian/host/director who’s been boosting our movie industry with box-office shattering films about this island we call home.

K- Kiasu; A trait that ensures growth and survival. Seriously, look at how our Singaporean kids whoop the others in all money making aspects of their life. At the age of 3, most local kids would have gotten black belt in Tae Kwan do, fluent in 3 languages not including dialects, improvise Beethoven concerto in jazz and wear glasses that NASA uses to see the landscape on Pluto. 30 years and Kiasuism is all it took for us to be what we are today. Don’t anyone forget that. Long live Mr. Kiasu.

L- Lians; The Significant Other of a Beng (refer point B) Lians dress to pass off as Taiwanese or Jap but more often than not, their unique individuality shines out like a soaring thumb. Flashy outfit, tiny slit eyes, a mix of languages such as “Wo kao su ni, wo jin tian hen hairpy cos wo miit dao Carewin. Da hen hensome leh. Wo ming tian yao zhi miit da chi parti parti yi sia. Rang hou go sarper den maybe chi ML lor.” distinguishes a lian from the wannabes.
*translation: let me tell you, I’m happy today because I met up with Kelvin. He is so handsome leh. We are going to meet up again tomorrow to party for a while. Later on we will do supper and then off to make love lor*

M- Money; No lack of it here in Singapore. Every year, we complain about GST hike, COE increment, ERP costs, but yet, year after year NKF’s donation drive just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger………….

N- National Service; unlike others, our national service really isn’t about training for war. It’s about training the boys to act like man. During national service, our men begin to develop a manly physique and above all, they learn about manhood. All in hope to impregnate our woman to relief our country of it’s dwindling population. National service provides rhem with an excuse to compare d*** size and to appreciate women better. If you, my female readers, feel lousy about yourself because you’re fat and ugly, don’t worry.
There is always hope. Hope comes on Saturday morning when NS boys book out. Swear you I, no woman is too ugly to be oogled at.

O- Orang-Utan; Singapore’s mascot Ah Meng, second only to the merlion. Tiffany, step aside. Everyone’s having breakfast with Ah Meng.

P- Punishment; Singapore is a fine country. You litter, spit, chew gum, vandalize, pluck flowers, speed, urinate, you PAY.

Q- Queue; (refer to point K) The inate ability to want the biggest, the most and the best has evolved into this particular trait to blindly follow what the majority are doing. Get in line fast.

R- Religion; Let me be serious here for a minute. No other place in the world have I seen Chinese deities, Muslim kramat and Lord Garnisha situated on the same land, unpartitioned. Thanks to our Old Man Lee and boys, we understand the need for racial harmony. Respect.

S- Singlish; the language of the country whether you like it or not. Perhaps a trait passed down from the time of the British colonization. Anyone who speaks with an English twang is immediately recognized as educated. Tsk tsk. English speaking groups consider themselves of higher stature, westernized and as such, powerful. Yet the Caucasians tries to speak in singlish and pass off as local! The real Chinese don’t quite understand us, the authentic Malays can’t comprehend us, hell, even the wholesome Americans we look up to don’t understand the words that are coming out of our mouths! That’s our language. Singlish is the one twang that identifies us from the rest of the world. You can spot a fellow Singaporean immediately when overseas.

T- Tiger beer. Hey what good is it to be the food and clubbing hub if we can’t even produce our own beer. That’s right. Tiger Beer, our very own. Unlike the cocktail, Singapore Sling, Tiger Beer is actually consumable. The same cant be said for Touche tho.

U- who me? shhh.. i’m not here. don’t call me! dowant! paiseh lah! oei! mai lah!

V- Vulgarity; We express our frustrations much better than our AngMoh counterparts, with a good mix of Hokkien, English, Chinese and Malay. Like for example, car nin na boo chao chi bye fark u understand?

W- Water; who can forget our never ending feud w malaysia and our counter attack w newwater which has been running our taps w/o us even realising it.

X- XEROX; the photocopied country. How unique and original we are depends on how we inject local flavor on the xeroxed copy of our neighbours. Esplanade is our version of Sydney’s Opera House. And our latest NDP “HOME” mtv, looks eerily familiar to Australia’s “I still call Australia home” mtv. Rows of children lined up and sang chior style, cept that our version had our kids in black and white samfoo lookalike, depicting an almost funeralistic feel.

Y- Y-chromosome; Found only in males. Increasing number of gays are coming out of the closet as our society opens up to accept them!

Z- Zouk; has placed us on the world music scene right beside Ibiza and London’s music underground. Honestly, which other major clubs plays oldies on Wednesday?

*********************************************************************

The new NDP song by Kit Chan, There’s No Place I’d Rather Be, again bears traces of Australian song.


“I walked the streets of Cairo and Bombay, I’ve seen the old neon signs on old Broadway.
I’ve climbed the Effiel Tower, the Great Wall in one hour…..
Seen Hollywood, the sunset in LA,
The London Bridge, Big Ben, The Thames, UK.
I’ve crossed the River Kwai, still i don’t know why, i think about you every night and day.
There’s no place i’d rather be……and even though i’ve roamed the world, it’s my home i’d long to see.”

Compare that with the song I’d still call Australia home.


“I have been to cities, that never close down.
From New York to Rio and old London Town.
But no matter how far, or how wide i roam,
I still call Australia home.”

Short and succint.

It is a uniquely Singaporean trait to improvise on other countries’ icons.

vs

vs

And having realised that Singaporean’s favourite pastime is punting and betting, better to have them lose money here in Singapore than over sea (cruise) or neighbouring Macau.

Even when I was in Albania, they heard about the IR in Singapore!

So what’s next?

Statue of Democracy made with the likes of MM Lee!


*note this photo is actually in place of another edited picture which i’ve decided against putting up for fear of getting my ass hauled up even though i do think it is quite harmless and will be quite entertaining as a joke but think we all know that humour goes down like a hard pill around here.

Jokes aside, I really think we should and WILL have a monument for him. Let’s even have a public holiday after him!
Afterall, the great leaders of the world, from history past to current years, have statues made with the likes of them. To commemorate their widsom and contribution.
And who better to represent our sunny island, other than the world reknowned, respected MM Lee.

Did I mention we are neighbours?
Sorta. One street away.

Happy Birthday my Singapore!

Thu
2
Aug '07

Available: Young Eligible Taitai

For a limited time only, you can have yourself a beautiful female companion for life.

Simply call 1900-Mia-Tan.

I am ready to be a taitai.

Afterall, I was schooled in the academy of taitai having spent 10 years in SCGS.

And to prove to you that I have the makings of a taitai, please refer to the following:


1. I look great in evening gowns for the gala dinners you have to attend.


2. I look even better standing next to/driving in your spock car.


3. And for your eyes only, I look best without clothes.

4. Last but not least, I am taking cooking lessons.

And not just any Community Centre chefs, nah-uh no sir.

I tutored under Chef Emmanuel Stroobant, the man behind Saint Pierre.

Before the start of the lesson, the two chefs have a quick discussion.

Chef 1: “Eh quick quick, what do we teach these brainless tai tais?”
Chef 2: “Aiya something simple that won’t mess up their million dollar kitchen.”
Chef 1: “Okok, and let’s give it some fancy name so it sounds expensive.”

First up Coq au Vin.

ooooh. big cheem french word.
It acutally just means Chicken in Red Wine.

Chef: “Ingredients are carrots, onions, parsley…….

“…….potato, chicken blah blah… who cares as long as you pour a bottle of wine in there.”

*waves his magic wok and taaadaaah*

Next up, stuffed sotong!

Ingredients are diced tomatoes, carrots, onions, bread crumbs and SOTONGS!

Chop everything together, toss in some olive oil, pepper and salt to taste…

and then stuff the blardee blur sotong until it’s bursting at its sides!


easy peasy right?

Then toss it into the oven to bake until it’s cooked.

Remove, slice it into pieces and serve!

************************************************************

Advertisement time!

POPQUIZ:

TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE.

************************************************************

And now, back to the program and for the dishes we’ve all been waiting for.

DESSERT!!!

CREME BRULEE!!


“Ok look girls, this is one of the easiest dessert to make.
Make sure you have eggs, cream and sugar.
You can mix it with anything for extra flavour, espresso, lime & ginger, passion fruit anything. For today, we are gonna do it with basil leaves and a little grated lemon zest.”


Whisk everything together into this creamy pot, separate into a few cups and bake in oven for 20 minutes.

When it is ready, sprinkle some sugar over the top and flame it!

Now for the final takeaway dessert.
CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES.

This is lagi even more easier.

Chocolate and cream.


Heat the cream. Pour over the chocolate. Mix rapidly until chocolate melts. Leave it to cool.
Mould with your hands.

And ladies, may i present to you this perfect example of a man.

Cute, big strong arms, toned bod, great sense of humour, good with pesky kids sticking their fingers into food in the kitchen, and best of all…..

null

HE MAKES CHOCOLATES!!!

Unfortunately, he is also married.

*ahem*

Therefore, i am STILL a young eligible taitai-to-be.
AND I CAN COOK FRENCH NOW!
ITALIAN CLASS COMING UP IN SEPTEMBER WITH MICHELANGELOS!

So grab me today!

Tue
31
Jul '07

If i could decree a holiday….

If i had the powers to assign an international holiday, it would be the “Connecting People Day“.
(not to be confused with a certain mobile make)

I would have wanted a World Animal Day, Earth Awareness Week, Shopper’s Month but there are already events dedicated to these movements.

How many times have you met someone for the first time, gotten his contact, and ended off the meeting with a casual “Keep in touch!”

And how about that time, an old friend you happened to bump into on the streets. You frantically took down his mobile number, email, MSN, namecard etcetc, promising with all the sincerity of that moment that “I’ll be in touch! It’s great to see you again!”

It’s been umpteen times for me.

Despite all these “convenience” of communication avenues we have now, i find it terribly difficult to stay in touch.

Is it because we are exposed to more people now? More than what our little black book can hold?
More than what the once generous self can give?

I’m saying this because, i got a surprise phone call the other night.
From an unidentifiable prefix number.

“An overseas call!” I thought, mentally browsing the limited list of people i know living overseas.

I answered and a cheerful voice exclaimed, “Mia! I am HEY JIN! U remember?”

Hey Jin?
Who? Mispronounciation? Wrong caller? Can’t be. She said my name!

“errr…eileen?”

Yes yes i hey jin. How are you?”

“I’m errr okay…angie?”

Nono hye jin! Miss Singapore! I am Hye Jin! Miss Korea!”

“OOOOHHHHH!!!! HYE JIN!! HOW ARE YOU!!!” i finally recognised that accent.

“I’m Okay. U? Why u no write me.”

*guilt creeps in, flashes of the days we spent in Wuhan and the time Miss Macau calls asking why i’ve not called her nor visited her as promised*

“Errr..i’ve been busy and i misplaced everyone’s contact!” I struggled for half truths.

We then spent the next 5 minutes trying to figure out what each other were saying amidst broken english and lots of giggle.

Though not much was verbally said but alot was felt.

Guilt mainly, on my part.

So, on the Mia declared public holiday, all telcos should make international calls free thta everyone can pick up that phone and call whoever they’ve been meaning to be in touch with but got too caught up with the bustle of life to stay true to the promise.

Happy connecting people.

Fri
27
Jul '07

我猜我猜我猜猜猜

I say: 人不可貌相, 鞋子不能太少

I went shopping yesterday at Far East Plaza.

Look at the horde of shoes i bought.
Guess the damage.

*******************************

Bus ride: 60 cents

5 pairs of shoes: $37.50

A great bargain: PRICELESS

*******************************

*pats on back*

well done, imelda, well done.

Sat
21
Jul '07

Physics Harmful Damages

I was kept up last night. Too many universal truths to ponder over.

I hate physics. I could never fathom the “logical” rules.

I didn’t do physics in secondary school but i attempted one year of it at A-levels. Failed miserably.

So please someone answer me.

Assuming a plane is cruising at 870 km/hr and I’m standing along the aisle.

At this point, i make a star jump.

Why don’t I end up being flung to the back of the plane?

Theorectically i am no longer under the influence of the force of the plane what.

If it has to do with the pressurised cabin, then why is it that if i am driving at 80km/hr and i throw a pingpong ball up from my seat, it falls back into my hand and not in the back seat?

And someone please explain to me, according to law of physics W = F x d where work done (W) is equivalent to force applied (F) onto the distance moved by object (d), that means if I stupidly push and shove against a wall for the entire day and the wall obviously doesn’t move, it means no work is done?

And now this then brings to mind relativity. Everything is relative. It just depends on whose point of view you adopt.

No work is done relative to the wall as it doesn’t move.
But alot of work is done relative to me as i am sweating my ass off!

Now if only all men understand this theory then they’ll realise that spending $750 on a Gucci wallet is all relative.

Thus it is an absolutely ridiculous law that cannot possibly survive in society.
If my team of managers put in effort and worked day and night pushing out a proposal that did not deliver any results, can i say NO WORK IS DONE and therefore withhold their salary?!

huh huh huh! not so bright now eh, Einstein?

Wed
18
Jul '07

my first time!

When was the last time you did something for the FIRST TIME?

Last evening i went for my swim assessment.
My first swim lesson.
Yes. I stayed true to my word and i’m undergoing swim lessons at Farrer Park Swimming Complex with APS.

The trainer’s name is TERRY and guess what?
I’m TERRIFIED!

***********************************************************************

On 07.07.07 i attended my first traditional Malay wedding.
Despite Singapore being a multi cultural country with racial harmony blah blah and the supposed additional duty of promoting upkeeping Singapore’s image (every citizen has a duty to upkeep Singapore’s good name), i am ashamed to say this is my first hand experience with this richly cross racial ceremony.

The solemnization begins with the bride and groom seated in the centre of the room, surrounded by family and friends and more importantly the “priest” equivalent of the wise holy man.

The holy man will then recite from the Quran and give his blessings to the couple.
Thereafter, the bride will retreat to the bedroom.
Smart move. Can sit down and relax, don’t have to sit and listen to all advise governing a marriage and family etcetc.

I couldn’t understand what was being recited and passed on to the groom, but the inner circle seemed to be only made up of men.
I can only bet it must be one of those “Husbandry 1101 how-to-keep-your-wife-in-check” crash course lessons.

I’m quite surprised to find that most part of the ceremony does not differ much from our traditional chinese weddings.

For one, they serve alot of sweetmeat at the ceremony, aptly signifying a sweet marriage.

Also, there are gifts from the groom

and the dowry all laid out on the bride’s bed.

The bride then kisses the groom’s hand signifying respect and love for him.

When all the hoohaa has died down, the couple will proceed downstairs to the void deck for a meal with the bride’s family.

The head of the entourage will be carrying a bowl, compartmentalised to hold auspicious items such as flowers, eggs and sweets.

It is also similar to Chinese wedding in that, after receiving the bride, the groom now returns to his home with her and undergo yet another round of well wishes.

I was kinda excited because of all the cooking that was happening at the void decks.
It is a massive cookout!

beef rendang, mee siam, curry puffs, sayur lodeh, chicken wings….

*slurp*
There are 3 types of people: Glutton, Gourmand and Gourmet. Guess which am i?

They arrive with an ensemble of drummers and musicians and to receive the blessings, they have a man performing silat as the groom receives a knife to protect his bride.

That is necessary when you have two crazy women trying to foil his plans to take his seat.
Me and di sat on their beautifully decorated podium and insisted on “angpows” before they can sit down.
The entourage then sent someone to “negotiate” with us and we eventually gave way after being threatened by the knife bribed with 3 angpows each.

WAA go wedding still got ANGPOW leh!

This is one very eye-opening experience for me.
How many times have you been awoken in the morning to the drummings of a Malay wedding and you got up all grumpy?
And how often when you see a Malay void deck wedding, do you think “Aiya so cheapskate, cannot afford proper dinner.”

Well, wrong wrong wrong.
Just like the Chinese lion dance troupe, it is their way of ushering goodness.
And it’s not that they can’t afford a 10-course shark’s fin dinner at a swanky hotel.
It is the “kampung” spirit, where everyone lends a hand in the preparation, the gathering of relatives sitting down for a communal meal just like the good ol’ days of the kampung.

Much more meaningful than the 10-course wedding dinner where your relatives come by with feign smiles on their faces, eat and leave you with nothing but just money, don’t you think?

Well, i guess some of us can live with that.

Now, ain’t she just beautiful?

Princess Dee

Fri
13
Jul '07

brb. off to KL

be right back folks.

off for my first overseas trip after Albania.

yea yea not very exciting. KL only.

not some other exotic country…

this time, driving up so no hijack.

Mon
2
Jul '07

i feel inspired…

to learn swimming.

I’m all of 26 half years, 5 foot 6, 52kg and I can’t swim nor float to save my life.
Not even coming from swimming dominated schools helped…

*****************************************************************

Spent my weekend at Farrer Park Aquatic Centre for the Standard Charted Masters Swimming Series.

There were swimmers of all ages from 19-80! How apt that their motto is Age is no Barrier.

People from all over the world flew in to participate like a group of swimmers well above 50 from Australia, calling themslves the DARWIN STINGERs are oldies but goodies!

And not only is age not a barrier, swimmers with physical and mental disablities from the Singapore Special Olympics swam competitively!

Some swam freestyle despite being an amputee and you know what?
They actually swam faster than some others in the same race!

Now that’s inspiration.

If all these people are able to swim despite their age and physical disabilities, what is stopping me, a fully abled body at the prime of my youth and depriving my life of water-related activities simply because I fear water and drowning?

Do I really need more convincing?

How about asking Uncle Peng Siong to coach me?


This is known as the endless pool. No more than 2M in length, this pool generates waves that keep pushing you back thus you’ll keep swimming to no end!

And how about the bevy of yandao kias who will be present at the pool from APSC?

Yes yes, these are reasons motivational enough to make me face my worst fear.
My only hope is that I won’t appear unglam… thrashing my arms around, gobbling the water, and having mucus running from my chlorine irritated nose…amongst other things.

So, I WILL be facing my greatest fear and sign up for swimming classes.
I will document my progress here and show that the only thing i need to overcome is myself.

Face your fears today! *roar*

If there’s something holding you back from living life to the fullest, overcome it.
You’ll be amazed at how strong the human mind and body can be.

I know mine will be.

All photos courtesy of Janice Goh.

************************************************************************

But of course, above it all, I want to mark this special day:

Happy birthday to my favorite AC swimmer.

Thu
28
Jun '07

华语 COOL!

Idiosyncracies means quirks or “characteristics, habits, mannerisms, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual”

I don’t know why it is derived that way but i’ll bet half a dollar it had to do with the word IDIOT.

Then again if that’s the word-related case, I’d think that idiosyncracies had something to do with supercalifrigging difficult words that relates to IDIOms, SYNonyms that crack your CRAnial nerves.

Like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious should be an idiosyncrasy.

Anyway, doesn’t bother me. I’ve always had problems with English growing up.

I remember going for my first day of Primary School without even being able to say “Hello, my name is.”

But damn I can rattle off a conversation fluently in Mandarin.

Which turned out to be quite “loser-ish” I realised later on in my teenage life.

See, when you are schooling in an English-speaking school, all the cool kids could pronounce their R’s and L’s, yet you have difficulty remembering names like Daphne.

It JUST isn’t pronounced the way it is spelt!

And all the kids will give you the funny look when you never had to struggle with Chinese 听写 or 作文..
And believe you me, when you are the appointed Chinese rep in my schools, you ARE made to believe you are a freak of nature.

So, to embrace this fault of mine, this inadequacy, this idiosyncrasy, i shall embrace it and glorify it by:

FEATURING 成语 , 谚语 and 歇后语!

What’s the difference between the three?

*shrugs* I also don’t know.

成语: 狐假虎威
歇后语: 猪八戒照鏡子
谚语: 不管黑貓白猫,抓著老鼠就是好猫

I know!! It simply gets longer and longer!

For 成语, it is usually 4 letter word and is quite literal.
For 歇后语, it is somewhat like a riddle and you have to guess the meaning. Kinda like a sacarstic 成语.
And a 谚语 is just a way of talking in a roundabout manner about a simple thing, just so that you sound atas.

不管黑貓白貓,逮著老鼠就是好貓 literally means “doesn’t matter black cat or white cat, can catch mouse means is good cat”.

Doesn’t matter what mouse either.

猪八戒照鏡子 literally means “Pigsy (from Journey to the West) looks into a mirror”.

There is a followup line of “里外不是人” which translate the cryptic message into “non humane inside out”.

狐假虎威 fox fake tiger authority. Someone’s trying to act big because of powerful backings.

Legend has it that a tiger caught a fox one day and was about to devour it. The sly fox then sprung up and said “HEY YOU! You can’t eat me, you’ll be violating the laws of heaven! I’ve been sent from above to be the King of Beasts!”

The tiger 半信半疑 and upon seeing the suspicion on the tiger’s face, the fox immediately continued, “Take a walk with me through the jungle, and you shall see for yourself, all the animals scurrying away and cowering in fear!”

So the tiger went along with the fox, and true enough, everyone of them little furries scrambled away!

Hence, the tiger did not devour the fox!

Cool story eh?
That’s why I say 华语 COOL!

Wed
27
Jun '07

G.S.S

Go Shopping Siah.

I have not gone shopping for MORE THAN A MONTH.

No new clothes and my heels are so worn to the metal bits, I sound like a horse crossing the road.

HOW CAN THAT BE?!

Where’s my credit card!!

Oh no wait. I don’t have one.

Where’s my sugar daddy’s credit card?!!

Oh no wait. I also don’t have one.

Sigh.

Woe is me.

Tue
26
Jun '07

sorry lah

terribly sorry.
i’ve been too busy to be writing.

As you probably know, i’m busy manning the site on K3Uberme

Must write alot leh then must do bee deos and all.

Did i tell you i love twins?

OH and by the way, will the “passerby” please email me@miatan.com your contact details.

I would like to take you out for dinner.

At my favourite tucked away spot in Singapore.

Pweetty pwease?

Mon
11
Jun '07

Insult me today!

I have a brilliant idea.

Thanks to the various people who leave hurtful comments, i want to have this online competition.

Who can write me the most beautiful insults!

As you can read, none of those flamers could string a sentence properly together and i’ve yet to encounter an insult that’ll make me sit up, take note, and nod/laugh in agreement while marvellin at their apt choice of words.

So put on your thinking cap and start the word play today!

Here’s a few to inspire you:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s
empty and so is your head.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “go to hell”

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming!

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime


Go on, do your best. It can’t possibly get any worse for me.

Wed
6
Jun '07

I’m ONE today!

This day a year ago, my site was launched.

Today, my blog has since garnered a grand total of : 130 posts and 799 comments.

Not bad la, not bad at all.

*pat on back*

So much has happened in the past year, i can’t quite believe i survived.

Literally.

This handsome English man you see is Philip Baum, editor of an aviation security journal.
He was going on LIVE on CNN during my hijack, describing what could possibly be happening on board.
Interviewing aircrew and even hijackers to get a better understanding of possible situations and deriving counter techniques is part of the jobscope.

The rest of it he spends flying to various countries, giving seminars to airlines on aviation security.

And this was how i met him.

I received an email from him on 16th of Feburary:

Dear Mia

This may seem a strange enquiry…and I’d quite understand if you’d rather not have to think about the Turkish Airlines hijack any more…

BUT…I write to you as the Editor of “Aviation Security International”, the journal of airport and airline security. I have just returned from Istanbul where I interviewed the crew of the Turkish Airlines flight yo were on. Our aim was to get a true appraisal (so that other aircrew can learn how to manage such situations) of how each of the crewmembers felt during the incident, why they did what they did and their perspective of the hijacking after it concluded. The interview will appear in the April issue of the journal..and I would be more than happy to send you a copy once it is published.

The only thing missing is the passeneger perspective. I just found your details on the internet…and wondered whether you would be prepared to EITHER do a written interview (ie. I write some questions and you answer them by email) OR simply write an account of what happened in article format.

Key things we’d like to know are: a little background about you and why you were in Albania; who you were travelling with; any suspicious behaviour at the airport or on boarding; when you first realised somewthing was wrong; when (and how) you realised you’d been hijacked; mood of passengers on realising what happened; how it ended (from your perspective); how the Italian authorities treated you; how you continued on your journey.

Aside from the interview/article, the information you provide may be used in aircrew training. I spend most of my professional life training aircrew in hijacker and disruptive passenger management (see www.avsec.com). Indeed, I’ll be in Singapore in April carrying out such training…

I look forward to hearing from you.

Rgds.
Philip Baum
Editor, Aviation Security International (www.asi-mag.com)
Managing Director, Green Light Ltd. (www.avsec.com)
London, UK

And that was how it started to me writing for his journal and finally meeting him here in Singapore when he came to give 5 day seminar to international airlines at SIA centre.

I can only think of the word “ordain” when I first saw him.
How he found me off the net, through the various emails, and finally understanding all that has happened on that fateful flight.

Apparently, the captain of my plane, Captain Mürsel Gökalp, was locked in the cockpit with the hijacker, believing that there were THREE of them in total, taking over control of the plane.

Thankfully, he was alert and calm enough to be constantly radio-ing ground, announcing that he is acceding to the hijacker’s demands and will detour to Rome, Italy.

As security measures have been put in since 9-11, Greek fighter jets escorted our flight en-route to Italy, with the permission to take out our plane should anything be amiss.

The captain recalled that during the 9-11, none of the pilots radio-ed in because they were murdered, so by constantly contacting ground, he hoped to reassure them that he is STILL the one in control of the plane.

And because of that simple but crucial move, he saved all our lives.

It was actually quite chilling to hear Philip describe it to me and realise how close I’d come to losing it all.

read about it here and my account here

And I attended my first flight seminar where i was the only non aviation crew.
Retold the story of the hijack to the class and of cause Philip didn’t fail to mention that SIA actually turned me down for flight attendant TWICE.
Must be missing something here.

And on the topic of survival, it’s been 7 months full time at my friend’s ad agency and that ranks top in survival tips. A girl’s gotta earn her keep you know, so i’ve sold my soul to the devil. hyak hyak!

Also, choose your friends wisely.
This i’ve learnt the painful way after realising what hypocrites some people can be. Even though you’ve known them in school since the tender age of 7 and graduated together.
Weird huh.

Enough of all these sombre tones on a supposedly joyous occasion.

Happy happy Birthday to me and my nephew Winston Jin!
Celebrate the reasons, no matter of validity, of being alive!

Mon
4
Jun '07

que pasa!

Que Pasa (pronounced kaey par sar) is a very universal term.

It means many a different thing in various languages.

In the Spanish speaking colonies, it means “Wazzzzup” yo my hommies!

e.g hola chicas! que pasa! (hey chicks! wazzup!)

In the Malay chit chatting community, it could mean “Your problem lah!”

e.g “Eh how, I broke the $300,000 lamp how?”

“Que Pasa lah!”

In the Hokkien slang, it means an entirely different thing.

e.g “Eh que tor lor?” (eh going where?)

Que Pasa!” (going to market!)

Sat
2
Jun '07

Luxurious Living

Guess where i went on a holiday?

Give you some clues……

yes….you are almost right…..on the beach…..

Or rather a very very very deserted island…….

TADAAAAAAA the LAZARUS ISLAND!

otherwise known as the luxurious island.

There was no one out there except us, so it feels like we’ve got our very own private beach!

Chilling out and having a picnic with wine, stinky cheese and meats.

Ok, i dont mean the boys are stinky or cheesy though i DO see them as meats.

David demonstrates using my K3’s glossy surface as a grooming device.
Men can be SO VAIN sometimes.

We walked around the island, planning a beach cleanup for our future enjoyment….and i found….

HERMIT CRABS!!

and then we saw…….

over at the other bend, THERE WERE CONSTRUCTION GOING ON!

Building roads and a ferry terminal so that Singaporeans have another place to holiday in?

Dammit.

That, or some 2000 luxurious homes for the superich who wants to live on luxurious island.

Well, enjoy it while we still can.


With me and my K3.


Don’t you just wish the same?

Tue
29
May '07

all the world’s a stage…….

And all the men and women…….merely players

Remember this Nokia Ad with Gary Oldman?


Well, here’s a better improved local version of it.

Damn blardee hilarious!!!

*bangs on table ah lian style, hysterical with laughter*


CONFLICT!

Sun
27
May '07

vrrooom….go on, take me out.

PIMP MY RIDE! RIDE MY PIMP!

I have been viewing alot of cars recently.

Yup.

But quite unlike those people who go test drive all the various cars over the weekend before finally selling their soul out to pay for the COE.

3 weeks back, the SAAB concept car launch.

An eco-friendly car that has a full 360 windscreen.

And on Friday night, that was one car viewing session that blew me away.

Headed to Millenia Walk for the TORQUE Supercars event, invites courtesy of Jules!


The prancing horse, Ferrari F430.


The Porsche Carrera GT.


The Lamborghini Akon sings about.


And the so very classic Ford GT.

And when Junita Simons needed a volunteer to sashay around this McLaren F1 beauty and end off with a Vanna White pose, guess who she picked?!

“You look like you could model around this McLaren quite easily. Come! What’s your name?”

“I’m Mia.”

“Ok Mia, what do you think of this car?”

(it so godamn fucking beautiful!) “It is absolutely gorgeous and I simply love the sound of the engine!”

“So sexy right? Alright, what if I tell you, that the prize I’m giving away is this car?”

(no waaay yes please!) “REALLY?! I’ve got a license!”

Didn’t get the keys but made away with a goodie bag of Zegna fragrance, AMG polo tee and Toblerones for that upclose encounter with the purring engine of the McLaren.

Grey Goose vodka was the main drinks sponsor that night and boy, did we help ourselves at the bar!

Grey Goose Orange on the rocks, cosmo martinis, Grey Goose straight up. woohoo.
And they’re all served in these funky G.G martini glasses complete with flying geese.



Guess limelight wasn’t the only thing I stole that night.

Tue
22
May '07

I’m a Pirate!

For someone who can’t swim to even keep afloat, i have about 6 sets of bikinis and i certainly hang around water alot.

Headed out to sea again at 1degree15 Sentosa on Sunday.
It was reportedly the hottest day in Singapore ever since Ice Age the movie.
I actually still felt the waves the next day. Or it could just be the hangover.

Brought my BRAND NEW SAMSUNG K3 mp3 player out with me.
I got it because I WILL BE HOSTING www.k3.uberme.com !!!!!!
How cool is that!! New mp3 player, i get to play online host, pick and select my favorite bloggers, feature them on a 3 months project stint!

We stopped for fuel before heading to an island near Kusu.

And on our way there, we saw the yacht of Howard, zee environmental recycling dude. Kinda witty, naming it the SeaShaw.

Unfortunately, while we were happily frolicking on the sands, we didn’t realise the boat have been washed ashore and BEACHED like a freaking whale.

Thankfully, there were other boaters nearby and they loaned a helping hand to push it back into the waves.

If not, we’ll probably stranded and have to live on the island for goodness knows how long, fending off dinosaurs that are breeding in the forest behind us and maybe start drawing on a volleyball and naming it William.

And i found Jack Sparrow’s compass!

It supposedly points towards what the holder’s heart most desires.

I wonder what, or who rather, will it point to if I held it.

Sun
20
May '07

Why a dog is (wo)Man’s best friend

Spent the whole of last week with 3 different dogs.

That’s more than the number of men I date in a week.

Meet COBY, my sister’s dog, who looks alot like Windsor.

And Cosworth, cozzie for short, who’s been to more countries than i have.

Here’s Bbop (pronounced bee bop)

Sick of those “Why a beer is better than a woman” jokes?

I’ve come to realise 5 good reasons why a dog is better than a man.

1) They come when you call.

No longer do you have to keep checking your handphone every 5 minutes, in hope to see a message from him, asking you out.
Now you just have to call out his name and you’ll see him running around the corner.

2) They are always eager to please and so much easier to please.

3) They are more handsome than most men i know, and better yet, while the other girls gush over him, you know he’ll ONLY go home with YOU.

4) They are also a WHOLE LOT smarter and obedient than most men, being able to understand basic commands like sit, lie down, shake hands and don’t pee all over the floor.

5) Last and at the very least, damn, we know that they are good with their tongue.

Sat
19
May '07

What’s your worth?

Scene: MRT Train Time: 9.00pm Mood: Relaxed

Ah Beng Boyfriend turns to Ah Lian in the crowded MRT train and says “Eh siao eh, if I win the S$10 million TOTO tomorrow ah, I give you S$2,000,000 lah, then we even liao hor. Quits liao. I don’t owe you, you don’t owe me right?”

Ah Lian blur blur look at him.
“Eh siao kia, U mean to say, if u strike it rich, you want to dump me ijit. U want to buy me out ijit? U think what? Retirement pension payout ah. What, 2 million talking you?”

A.B.B stutterly explained, “No la lian, you see ah, you say i’m your investment right? We together so long liao, 5 years leh, mai pray pray, you invest your youth in me wat. I know outside alot of Ah Sengs after you, all better than me somemore. So I thinking if i got money, 2 million give you, should be enough returns tio boh?”

Ah Lian, being an Ah Lian, is damn good in Maths and calculating.

“Eh. 2 million in 5 years. What kind of lousy returns is that. And hor, you say this meaning what? U measuring our relationship in dollars and sense ijit? Eh our relationship hor, not just invest time and youth leh, i also invest feeling leh, and alwas buy you presents think free one ah. And these investment for long term one wat. U think i want to cash out meh. What you mean, liddat?”

Money can buy romance but only love can buy me.

Am I too expensive?

I certainly hope not.

Fri
18
May '07

excuse me, sir……

Just a random dirty thought.

Most are …………… cock.

Some are …………… cockatoo.

A few are …………… cockadoodledoo.

What are you?

Thu
17
May '07

Mia’s Museum of Carebears

You may travel the world, but you’ve seen nothing like it.

Top L-R: Bedtime, Wish, Lotsa Heart, Cozy Heart, Secret, Bright Heart, Share
Middle L-R: Brave Heart, Funshine, Bedtime, Grumpy, Love-a-lot, Friend
Bottom L-R: Cheer, Birthday, Good Luck, Gramps, Baby Hugs, Funshine, Forest Friend

Behold, the largest collection of ancient cartoon stuffed bears, right here on Singapore shores.

20 carebears, of which almost half are in near perfect condition.

Painstakingly collected from all over the world.

Cheer is my very first carebear from childhood.
Love-a-lot was my second from Aaron.
Wish bear is my third, from PK.
Secret is a special bear because it tells you a secret.
Forest friend is a limited release.

And i’m not yet done collecting!

Wed
16
May '07

Next!

Im in a super duper good mood today.

Nothing can get me down.

Absolutely NOTHING.

Why?

Cause I just met the sweetest taxi driver in Singapore.

Can you believe my luck?

No seriously.

Can you?

I got into a taxi at 8.01pm.
I kiam siap lah, want to avoid $2 surcharge so i waited. Eh, 1min/$2 expensive know! And later the movie i watched reminds me what a difference a minute makes.

So the taxi uncle got into a conversation. You know lah, those taxi uncles can talk until cows come home.
He asked if I just got off work, so i said yea, but most of my colleagues are still working, i had to zhao cause i watching movie.
Then he said, “So you haven’t eaten la!”
No, i have not, got abit of gastric pain even.

He stopped at a traffic light, turned around and said “Na, take this biscuit. Uncle keep these in the car coz I got alot of passengers all never eat meals so i give them. Take, eat! You feel better.”

I took the packet he was waving at me and instantly i DID feel better.

Where got taxi uncle so nice one!! U tell me!!! WHERE GOT!

“Uncle, thank Q you ah. I eat later la, dont want later your taxi all got crumbs.”

“Aiya neh mind! eat eat!”

Then we spoke about life in Singapore, people work so hard, earn so little, housing so expensive, medicine also costs a kidney, the usual Singaporean gripe and about buying TOTO, 4D and striking lottery!

Just before I reached my destination at Shaw Centre, Gene called and changed the venue to Lucky Plaza and heng heng, he was able to filter into the turning lane jus 10 seconds before the traffic junction.

“Waaah, you bery lucky leh. Go lucky plaza, if late by 5 seconds uncle go straight liao, cannot turn ah!”
My cab fare came up to $5.10. I gave him the exact amount and he said “Aiya 10 cents no need no need. You use it to buy 4D, strike liao, chia uncle eat can liao ah!”


Where got such nice cabby one.

WHERE GOT.

SHB7277S

And i thoroughly enjoyed the upcoming movie NEXT at the Preview Theatre level 13 of Shaw Centre.

Complimentary tickets, courtesy by ohgenki.com!
The plot apparently is based on the book “The Golden Man” and Frank Cadalliac, (Nicholas Cage), is a man who is able to see his future 2 minutes in advance, giving him just about enough time to make life changing decisions.

And, like every hero in a movie, there is one woman who will be his nemesis. She is everything he is not. She’s sexy, beautiful, trusting and normal. He’s lupsup, psycho and so not attractive.

See what i mean?

The plot isn’t very hard to follow, considering that there can only be just about a million permutations of the future happenings, dependent on every fickle decision he makes every 2 minutes.
Nonetheless, Hollywood makes up for it by putting in the fight scene, the blowups, the car chase and the whole “save-the-world-and-let-your-loved-ones-die” turmoil.

I loved it immensely because of the way the scenes were replayed according to his clairvoyance and reality.
It is a must watch for thriller fans who love a twist and some of those hocus pocus stuff.

And of course i loved the luxurious seats, pity no popcorn allowed.

Now to check if I’ve struck 4D.

Thu
10
May '07

Protected: for your eyes only

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巴西蜡

*************************************************************
Due to confidentiality issues, this post has to be removed.

Nonetheless, if you would like to hear about the personal process of brazillian waxing and is too shy to ask or too afraid to try it, email me@miatan.com and i can explain it to you.

If all else fails, the good waxing people at STRIP will be more than happy to guide you through to ensure a fairly painless experience.

Bring your girlfriends (or boyfriend) to hold your hand or even join you! There’s Boyzillian for the guys too!

And no, it is not THAT painful.

trust me.

Sat
5
May '07

such nice boys they are.

Crystal Mirror had their last show on Sunday, and I had prepared some gifts for the talented performers.

For Andreas, Jojo and the Twins, i put our printed photos (with some writings) and some ferrero chocolates in an envelope.
For Tom, he had his photo too, and a little extra. You know the kind of bubbles we used to blow as a kid?
Not the soapy water kind but those gooey ones that you squeeze out of a tube, wrapped around a straw and blow out a stinky bubble?
Thought he’ll have some fun with my childhood toys.

And guess what?

Andreas and Jojo emailed me!!!

Jojo’s email:

Hi Mia,

soory it´s late,
but now that I´m back in Berlin, I want to say thank U for the choclate and the lovely
pic.:-)))
I had a great time in Singapore and will definately be back…
To U I send a big smile, have fun, success and everything U wanna have!!!

Thanks again
Jojo

Andrea’s email:

Hi Mia,

thank´s for your present somebody gave me the last day at Chrystall Mirror.
We had a really good time in Singapore, now I´m back home in Berlin and I need some days to arrive really with my heart and with my soul.
I have seen on your website that you are acting and modelling, nice photos.
Wish you all the best Mia, and take care of my ping-pong-ball, Andreas

P.S. I was Monday evening for an extra event next to china town. You have seen me ?

=====================================================================

YES YES YES i did!! i bumped into him!
2 Monday evenings ago, i was walking to Tg Pagar mrt with Charmaine after work, and coming in my direction was this TALL LANKY DARK AND BROODING man with hair that will make the F4 green with jealousy.
I took a double look and even turned as he walked past.
Char looked at me and i saw the recognition in her eyes when she asked, “Isn’t that the guy, the photo with you stuck on your desk?”

Awwwww…it must have been fate.

hahahahaa.

dream on mia. dream on.

Sun
29
Apr '07

Oh mother.

I am glad that Mother Nature have chosen my home, to show me the wonders she can create.

For several days now, i keep seeing this lizard in my garage.
Mum says she sometimes see it on our shoe racks.

A month ago, i was in the shower. And i felt something at my feet. With soap in my eyes, i thought it was a bundle of fallen hair clumped at my feet, so i tried to rinse and shake it off.
Then i looked down and realised it was a baby lizard!!
The poor thing was trying to scramble away from the hot water!

I stopped the shower, stepped out, took some toilet paper and carefully picked it up and dried it off before letting it go, scurrying for safety.

Crazy right? I know, but i love lizards lah.

And, the shrub at my backyard, has an annual nesting.
I’m not sure what’s the breed, it’s brown with a white head and long tapered beak.

It’s been occuring for years now, almost twice a year, they would build a nest in the shrub and lay 2 eggs each time.

Tell me it doesn’t look like those easter cadbury chocloate speckled eggs.

It hatches into 2 tiny birdlings. Both nestled against each other, hairless and all pink & boney.

Over the days as i monitored them, everytime the leaves are parted, each will vye for attention by opening their tiny beaks, straining their shrivelled neck to expose the red throat that supposedly stimulates the motherly instinct in the mummy bird to stuff the wormy food in their mouths.

I think that somehow they resemble human babies except that babies make a hell lot more noise and are so annoying that i want to stuff soiled diapers down their throats.


Unfortunately, it is common that only 1 survives. This is due to either out of neglect or poaching by other animals.

And when their feathers are fully fluffed, they can be found perching on the lower branches of the shrub, learning to stretch their wings and take to the sky.

Kinda like babies too, right?

Sat
28
Apr '07

What’s his name again?


The guy in black, bottom left which someone found so familiar is my “partner” for the show.

Here’s a better look at him.

Cant remember his name now tho.

Sat
21
Apr '07

Knit me a beautiful body

did a Bodynits fashion show competition 2 weekends ago with Joanna.

She won the Bodynits Calendar Model Search and we ALL are gonna be featured in the 2008 calendar!!

how bery bery wwwwwwwunderfooool!

Mon
16
Apr '07

‘allo ‘allo

NEWSFLASh:

Main star of popular British BBC comedy series ‘Allo ‘Allo

Gordon Kaye, have been spotted along Bukit Pasoh of Singapore.

Turns out, the once critically acclaimed actor has pursued his passion for culinary delights and devoted to making german cusines at this bistro called Magma.

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This generous dish of mussels consomme (already half eaten before i remembered to take a shot), was delightfully sweet and light.
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Trivia for the day: Mussels are only available during the months that have ‘R’ in them. September - April

And over here, there’s a selection of german wine and I spotted this special beer.

ANTI AGING BEER.
woohoo.

i figured it is anti aging because after a couple of cans, it makes you lose track of time and leaves you with no recollection of your past.

null

Not bad right?
Give that grandpa an AA beer.

Mon
9
Apr '07

Michelin makes better tyres than food

When i first read the papers about The Crystal Mirror, i knew i just had to bring Eugene there for his surprise birthday dinner.

Before you think it is some gimmick where they have performing monkeys while you tuck into some over-priced, tiny-sized dinners, well, you are partially right.

No animals were harmed during the course of the show, and the food portions, though small, was quite filling.

I was quite disappointed when i saw the size of the tent.
I sorta imagined a cirque du soliel-ish tent filled with thousands of mirrors inside that’s like one of those laughing mirror houses in circuses.


Despite all these, they have one of the PRETTIEST makeshift toilets i’ve ever seen!

I only had enough moolah to buy the cheapest tickets and boy, was i thankful for that too.
The area isn’t very big, so we weren’t that far from the stage and since the food, prepared by Michelin (the oscar equivalent in culinary skills) chefs, is standard throughout all the pricing categories, there was really no need for extravagence.
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Seated in a booth with another Australian couple from Perth, we found out that it was the husband’s 57th birthday!

YAY! two birthday boys coincidentally put together! Fate works in the most mysterious ways sometimes.

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The show started with the AMAZING blonde acrobatic twins.
Man, they are lean muscle machines!
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Pablo taking a photo with me after the show, together with his twin Pierre.

Jojo Weiss cracks up the crowd with his amazing mouth. The sounds that leave those lips, leave you gasping.
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He can imitate just about anything!!!! From animals to people, he even did a Flying Dutchman, “Good Morning Singapore, you are tuned in to Class 95 FM”.

Tom Noddy. This guy gives the meanest blow.
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He can make bubbles within bubbles, baby bubbles, cube bubbles, bubble “carousel” spiraling within bubbles!
He was very candid tho when he joked about how his father must have felt, having a son growing up, who does nothing but play with soapy water all day.

And now, allow me to present Andreas Wessels.
*swoooooon*
I first caught a glimpse of him rehearsing just before the show and i was bowled over.
He was juggling 6 volley-sized balls.
I would like to juggle his balls. *giggles*

His second set, when he came on for a comedic segment with Jojo, had him juggling ping pong balls with his mouth!!
He must have noticed me when we went to ask for his autograph on the programme during one of the meal breaks, cause after his performance just before he exited, he threw a pingpong ball over at my table.
Gleefully, i picked it up.
It was glistening in the dim candle light. Coated with his saliva.
Awww how very sexy. I quickly popped it into my mouth.
*mmmmmm…..yummy*

And the way he told eugene, after the show when the above photo was taken, “Hey, you take good care of her” that was soooooo MAN.
SO MAN i tell you.

did i mention that he’s really tall too?
In the photo, i’m already tiptoe-ing in my heels and he had to slouch alittle so the composition dont look too lop-sided.

awwwwwww. allow me to swoooon once again.

*********************************************************************
Note: Some artistes are not featured in this entry, i.e hula hoop talent, singers, contortionist and the live band.

The Crystal Mirror is playing at the PADANG til 29th April.
They do not perform on MONDAYS, day off for them to experience and explore our sunny island.
Tickets sold at SISTIC.
If you do go, tell Andreas I’ll go to Germany with him!

Tue
3
Apr '07

food for thought

My friend’s ad agency is at Craig Road and I’ve been working there for the past 5 months already.

There’s a wet market along tanjong pagar with kickass foodstalls on the second floor.

Almost every stall is draped with at least one, if not several, of those Mediacorp/Makansutra/Life! rave reviews.

Either we are having an overdose of these food programs or all the good food stalls are found here.

And there’s one particular stall i patronise on a religious regime.

Hor fun: $0.30
Chicken Shreds: $0.70
Mushrooms: $0.50
Wanton: $0.50

All home made by a granny way past her 70s: PRICELESS

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Somehow i hoped that my daily lunches will catalyst her retirement.
Then, she said she can’t stop working.
Now that’s the spirit.

Sat
31
Mar '07

aiyoooo soooo cute!

Remember i said 2 posts down, that it’s time for drinks with that cute angmoh from NbyN soon?

And i said, furthur 2 posts down, i prefer Asian men?

See, fate has this irrinnoying habit of making you swallow your words just as it leaves the keyboard.
How many times has it happened, that the more you are adamant about something, the exact opposite will come true and you look like a fool.

And just how cute is cute?

This cute.

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ahuh ahuh. THIS cute.

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Is he cute or wat!!!

Thu
29
Mar '07

All that Ritz Glitz

Let me set the stage right.

The double J team, Joshua and Joanna, dating for 2 years, are not allergic to fun and booze.
Daniel, is Joanna’s baby brother who’s not so baby anymore.
Chris, is the (oh-speak-french-to-me-you-sexy-man) French Man
Min is the current beautiful (and oh-so-lucky) boyfriend of Chris.
Diana is my partner in crime.

It’s no secret.
We LOVE Ritz. We LOVE clean crisp white sheets. We LOVE the voyuerism of the bathroom.
We embrace and adore and worship and grovel for the service, panaromic view, superb freeflow canapes and bubbly sweet champagne at the club room on the top floor.

And this is how much we love Ritz.

Now say it again with me.

We Love Ritz.

Wed
28
Mar '07

where you!

aiyo. no mood to write. no inspiration to conjure up words.

now no even have the time to sleep.

how?

all because of you.

charmaine’s gone on exam leave for the whole week.

my future is bleak.

Sun
18
Mar '07

Naughty but oh so nice

*WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING* *WARNING*

Please proceed with caution.

The images accompanying this entry are untouched and not edited, only resized for web publication.

It is to be presented in its raw form and in true honesty.

It may also cause slight discomfort to some.

***********************************************************************

I was referred by an anonymous apparition for a complimentary makeover at Naughty By Nature, and at the end of the shoot, i get to keep 2 of my best shots “America’s Next Top Model” style.

Not too keen to go intially, been to too many makeover studios and had too many crappy photos out of those, I don’t have much faith in this image consultant that I’ve never even heard of.

Armed with a cynical and a “let’s just get it over and done with quick” attitude, I stepped into the shophouse that spans 3 storeys of creative work.

The reception area bowled me over. To my right, there were rows of iMacs and many clients viewing their “after” shots.
The lounging area had most of the fashion mags on the table.

I was greeted by, guess what?!, an angmoh. Looking very young and all eager to please, he took me through the basic expectations of the shoot.

Aiya not my first time shooting what, i thought sniggering.

“Over here, we make the shoot fun and amazing so just relax, and enjoy yourself. At the end of the shoot, you will love the shots we present to you.”

ya ya ya. can we move along now?

At the makeup room, there were almost 10 makeup artists and hairstylists and ALL of them were busy with some clients.

Woah, i thought. This is quite a big scale studio huh. And the wardrobe they have are massive! From costumes to ballroom gowns, you can be catwoman one minute and Princess Fiona the next.

Seated to get my first casual look makeup done, I knew i was in safe hands when I saw a familiar face, Lorraine, who did my makeup for the Miss Singapore World pageant in ‘05.


In the white room (the room is all white duh), I had a “warm up” shoot with Sam who made me roll all over the floor, star jump and frame myself with a hula hoop. She quickly snapped away and I was released unharmed.

I was more excited about the 2nd look, as I had a firm idea of what I wanted out of it. I had brought along the dress, asked for my hair to be curled and eyes smoked.

The cute angmoh was back in a different room this time, with photographer Kelvin.

We had briefly flipped through some mags and agreed on a more fashion angle earlier, during the “getting-to-know-you-so-must-make-small-talk” time at the lounge area.
So he also seemed to have an idea of what he wanted out of it.

He dealt me some poses with a sofa, some time balancing precariously on one high heel and some time tantric moves.

I hoped then, that what he had in mind was also what i envisioned.

Well, turns out, there was no cause for worry.
And when he said I would love the shots presented to me, he wasn’t lying.

=====================================================================

And here are the 2 best shots.

Again, I remind you that the following photos are not photoshopped.


Want some gorgeous shots of yourself? And candid images of your kids? How about heartwarming photos of the family?

They are so exclusive that walk-ins are not entertained. Only referrals.
So book yourself an appointment with Naughty by Nature at 6511 1171.

Oh, it’s time again for some drinks with that cute angmoh soon. ;P

Wed
14
Mar '07

This is not very nice, is it?


I love sashimi.
I thought I could live in Japan.

Can I really?


Tue
13
Mar '07

Swimming Instructor

I am in need of a swimming instructor. Preferably one who has experience dealing with small children and babies. Coz i wail like a baby and thrash around the water like a small kid, even though i can stand head and shoulders above in a 1.2m pool.

Interested parties, please send your resume to me@miatan.com.

Last friday, i caught the opening night of acclaimed local play, The Swimming Instructor.
Judging by the men to women ratio in the studio, the rainbow community are out to show their support for the play.

It’s about 1 swimming instructor, 1 art director of an ad agency (sooooo cuteeeee!) and 1 hot, spoilt girl with one of those rich family tragic stories.
Two of them are in love & lust with the swimming instructor who, despite the simple, down-to-earth nature, has a disturbing habit of sinking himself to the bottom of the pool.

Overall, it was quite a digestable play, nothing too heavy or trying too hard to be “artsy”.
Won’t spoil much here, except that you can expect to see half naked bodies!

Performance Dates & Time
Fri 9 to Sun 18 March 2007
8pm daily (except Mon) plus 3pm on Sat & Sun
Venue: The Room Upstairs
ACTION Theatre’s 42 Waterloo Street

Tickets Prices
$35 (Matinee)
$40 (Tue, Wed, Sun Nights)
$45 (Thu, Fri, Sat Nights)

On a separate sadder note, Artistic Director of Wayang Warehouse Dennis Tan has passed away on 11th March 2007 on 12.41pm due to hodgkins lynphoma.
Though i’ve not worked with him, it is disheartening to lose a young artistic talent.

This site has an old article of him:

So please do show your support for local productions!!!

Tue
6
Mar '07

i am so SPG

Headed to New Asia Bar on a Saturday night prowl with the girls.

YA RIGHT.

Here are the culprits who chickened out in the end.

Supermodel Joanna, Image consultant Diana, Hijack Queen Mia

I’ve always known myself to be an angmoh magnet, thereby cementing my SPG status. Once again, that night, the theory has proven itself again.

Dancing with Di, a group of 5 angmohs closed in on us.
Standing in taxi queue, group of angmohs behind us were very noisy. One guy then tried to pick me up by apologizing for his friends rowdy behaviour.
Getting off a taxi, another angmoh shouted at me in the queue, “Hey i love the flower in your hair!”
Aiya, go pluck your own at the hotel entrance lah.
There was another cute “ABC edison chen type” who got off the taxi with him. WHY WASN’T HE THE ONE WHO SPOKE TO ME?!

Haiya. Despite all that SPGness traits i possess, i still prefer Asian men.

Mon
5
Mar '07

eat your heart out

Move aside Kenny.

There’s a new prince in the blogosphere.
Loyalty is no longer pledged and adoration is no longer upon you.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Plebians and Wannabes,

may I unveil the Tyrant of Truffles, Cannibal of Chocolates, Prince of Pralines!!

This cutey, complete with the boyish looks and squinty single eyelids which i absolutely adore, makes his own chocolates and sells them with love!

It seems he have come a long way, from going against parental guidance to cajoling friends to purchase his pralines, and to finally be able to promote his chocs on radio, CNA and IS magazines!

So do visit his site http://juliustrufflesdiary.blogspot.com and get addicted!

Wed
28
Feb '07

Singapore Slung

Sitting on deck chairs, sipping on cocktails, against the backdrop of a sunset beach, we did something totally unromantic.

Kenny and me started conjuring up new alcoholic mixes.

For starters, we have Whiskey High and Dry.

Ingredients for a Whiskey High and Dry:

* Whiskey
* Sugar Cane Juice
* Lemon Slice
* Ice

Serves one in a rock glass.

***********************************************************

Then the Rum Cha Cha

Ingredients for a Rum Cha Cha

* Rum
* Chin Chow
* Jelly cubes
* Ice

Serves one in a highball glass.

****************************************************************

Ready for a sweet apertif?

Have a Baileys Bandung!

Ingredients for a Baileys Bandung:

* Baileys
* Rose Syrup
* Milk
* Ice

Serves one in a Collins Glass

******************************************************************

Or try the latest Chestini!

Ingredients for a Chestini:

* Water Chestnut juice
* Vodka
* Chestnut fruit pulp

Shake well, strain into a martini glass, and serves one.

The next time i visit MOS, i should ask the bartender for Bailey’s Soya Bean.
You think they’ll throw me out?

Mon
26
Feb '07

be envious

yes….be VERY envious.

i’ve almost obtained all my feburary wish list!!!

Perfume: $260 per 75ml

Phone: $298

Gold Rings: $195 for 5gms

Sentosa Entry: $0

To have drinks with Kenny Sia alone by the beach, watching the sunset @ Cafe Del Mar:

PRICELESS.

Fri
16
Feb '07

GONG XI FA CAI!

gong xi gong xi gong xi gong xi ni!

happy lunar new year!

Wishing for all the health, wisdom, goodness, happiness and prosperity in the new year ahead!

Wed
14
Feb '07

Love Yourself.

null

i think i still will.

Before you ask of love from anyone, you should always love yourself first.
And that don’t mean narcissism.

Embrace your physical image and determine your self worth.

I was quite relieved when i saw DOVE’s campaign for real beauty ads, on TV and in the trains.

WHY DIDN’T I HAVE THAT DURING MY TEENAGE YEARS?!

Imagine how much self esteem that would have saved me?

You are looking at me when i was 14. How I lived with myself, i do not know.
I’m surprised i even took photos at all. I should be throwing myself off the school block.

Like every lil girl, there were dreams of prince charming, happily ever after and beautiful gowns, belle of the ball but they were mere illusions.

Never had big doe eyes, no petite dolly nose, skin was nowhere near fair porcelain and it’s crowning gory for me.

Not part of the hip crowd, neither fashionable nor very academically inclined, i was average.

And that is sad news to a teenager when life then, was all about individuality.

When the most popular girl group get selected for lead roles in a school shakesperian play and you are just a plebian with no lines, the envy surfaces.
Yet deep down inside, you believe you just aint good enough.

When the boys from the school next door huddle around your classmates at the bustop, you believe you ain’t worth a glance.

When the teachers compliment the brightest girl in class, it just serves to remind you of your own stupidity when you couldn’t give an intelligent answer.

And the cycle continues until the spotlight is focused on you, for the very first time.
Unsure of how to behave or respond, you screw up as you believed you would.

If you are growing up the way i did, or have already been down that path, stop it.
Life is too short, youth is even shorter.

Don’t waste it wallowing in self pity, in hope that some knight will sweep you off your feet and carry you into the sunset.

Stop fretting over your single eyelids and how it makes your eyes look like a fishball.
It is beautiful you can see.

Stop tripping over your tall, gangly awkward self.
It is freedom you can run.

Stop hanging your head when you speak with people.
I couldn’t even buy my own recess because i was afraid to speak up.
Now you can’t even get me to shut up.

The year I went into Secondary School, my principal, Ms Rosalind Heng, was giving an opening speech to all the newbies.
I remember very clearly, she said “Some of you are from the old (pri) school, some are from other schools. Don’t worry, all of you are the same! When you step into the bathroom, everyone’s the same.”

From then on, everyone in my world walks about naked with a funny shower cap on their heads.

Fortunately, i’ve a bunch of close friends who went through those cranky years with me.null
Happy Valentine’s Day to yourself!

Mon
5
Feb '07

the “love myself” wish list

The following are the things i wanna get in the month of Feburary.

1. Sony Ericsson K800i in brown

2. Fitness First membership

3. Perfume
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4. The Betrayal at House on the Hill board game
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5. Facial & Massage packages

I expect massive haemorrhage of my bank account by the time i’m done.

GONG XI FA CAI!

Sat
3
Feb '07

Bid for a Valentine’s Date today!

Like all the other scrupulous merchants who make you sell both kidneys for a bouquet of flowers to please your annoying girlfriend this Saint Valentine’s Day (what’s so holy about that?!), I’ve decided to venture into my first business idea after a bright bulb exploded above my head beside my bed.

This first came about when Gene put himself up on MSN for “Vday Sale” and I’m getting comment queries about dating my friend Jaslin.

So.

Do you always feel lonely on Valentine’s Day?
Seeing couples walking down the street makes you hang your head and stare at your shoes?
Wished that you have a beautiful someone on your arm?

Everyone deserves to be laid loved.

And over here, we have just the hottest dates for you.
Ranging from C-list celebrities and models, to the boy/girl-next door, or even the geeky co-worker type you fancy in the office, you can have your date tailored to your fantasy.

In our Initial Public Offering, we are proud to present:

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Yes, you’ve seen them on T.V, on the papers, the magazines, you close your eyes and wished they would go away but noooooooo…….here they are on your cable bandwidth too!

Now you can bid on your favourite local Reality TV Stars, and the final auction price will be donated to a local charity of your choice.

Item no #04931
===========

Weighing in at 150lbs and 5ft8″, this hot date is born on 1st April but he’s no joke. This fiery Aries will light up your passion and have you squealing in delight.
A budding entrepeneur at age 28, promoting childhood imagination, you are looking at a man who loves children!
You’re most likely to remember him as the upfront no nonsense dude who “will punch your f*cking face” from the very first reality tv show Eye for a Guy Season 1.

Beneath that tougher than thou exterior, he’s a gentle giant who’s musically talented.
Imagine being seranaded on the guitar by this hunk, on the beach during sunset, and sipping on chilled champagne.
This date is so full of surprises, you’ll feel as if you are dating 3 different guys all together!

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Item no #09856
===========

Standing at 1.73m tall, Sagittarius and born in the year of the Horse, you are looking at a 29 year old STUD!
First claim to fame in SPIN, a teenage drama series on ch5. You may have spotted him in KFC, Standard Charted ads and remember him as the guy who drew Denise Keller a beautiful painting in the latest season of Eye For a Guy 2.

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Many have said he bears resemblance to Chinese popstar Wang Lee Hom, so if you are a fan, bid now!!

Item no #01552
===========
null

We apologise for the lack of item no #01552.
Brief brush with fame in A Light Affair, he disappeared right after the season ended.

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Despite our efforts to rein him on board our selection of Reality TV stars, he’s turned us down time and again, citing busy filming schedules in Burkina Faso, where he is now based.

We respect his decision and wish him well in his latest hobby of Pilates, and hopefully, have him start his own Pilates studio here in Singapore.

***********************************************************************
All the reality TV stars listed above start with a bidding price of S$30 and does not include any expenses incurred during the date.
Other terms and conditions apply.

If you are interested in securing a date, please enter your bid via the comments segment in this format.

ITEM NO:
YOUR NAME:
EMAIL:
BID PRICE:
AVAILABLE DATE:

Stay tuned for our 2nd dish out of yummilicious Valentine’s Dates!

Tue
30
Jan '07

scent and scentsability

I had a very educating life lesson today.
All my adult life, i’ve always thought fragrances and perfumes were sold over the counters at departmental stores, and sometimes at some dodgy shops that sells a hugeass bottle for only $10.

Tucked away at the quaint Raffles Hotel, there’s a shop Escentials (also found at Tangs) that sells really exquisite parfums.
I was informed that these are the REAL perfumes.
So all along, i’ve been spritzing really good grade A fakes.

Stepping into the shop, there were shelves stacked with beautifully crafted bottles (women sometimes buy fragrance based on the bottle), labelled with names that i would imagine to be tongue twisters in Montenegro & Serbia.

The sales assistant, Leandra(she seemed more a Phd holder in Perfumery) first shot me a few questions.

“Do you like floral, fruity, citrus or sandalwood?”

Errrr…floral will be best.

“Floral fruity is ok?”

*nods*

“What kind of flowers do you like? Roses or Jasmine?”

I wanted to be funny and say I really like frangipani mixed angsana, with a hint of ixora and bougainvilla.

Err…roses.

She proceeded to choose a few scents for me and introduced the various brands from Italy and France, some from London and that they are made from all natural scents, some are even handmade (as opposed to industrially produced Fabuloso i guess)

I sorta fell in love at first scent with Creed’s Love in White, which has Magnolia, Narcissus and White Hyacinth with Fresh Grass on a base of White Iris and Vanilla, a full bouquet of white flowers, thus the name.
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Another which i loved was Annick Goutal’s Petite Cherie.
It has a sweet peach and vanilla, musk rose and freshly cut grass, smells just like eating Chupa Chups peaches and cream in a park.

Leandra then informed me Drew Barrymore loves that fragrance too.

She said i should try both, one on each hand, and go around with it for the day to experience the high notes, mid tone and bass tone.
The high notes are the very first whiff of the spritz, which usually lasts 15 minutes. It is the freshest sharpest scent.
The mid tone kicks in for the next hour or two or three depending on the oils of your skin and it’s usually this that most people will smell on you.
The bass tones are what’s left if you dont reapply, it can be a toned down muskier version of the mid tones.

Didn’t know there’s so much to learn about scents.

After returning to the office (after a super long lunch), i decided i liked neither.
White love is too vanilla-ish and a little offensive after a while.
Petite Cherie is well…too petite. It lost its scent almost completely after 30 minutes.

My friend who brought me there then headed back to the shop, to discuss with Leandra about the possible scents i would like, and he popped by my office to drop off furthur 5 samples for me.

Awww…. talk about attentiveness.

I really like the Creed’s Spring Flower now.
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And the Folavril by Annick Goutal.

Let’s see if the notes are melodiously in tune.

Sun
28
Jan '07

Looooveee is in the air!

Valentine’s day is 2 weeks away.

For those of you who would like to send Princess Mia a piece of your heart, (or a piece of your mind also can), please send me all your love letters, gift cards and little blue boxes via my little cupid messenger.

My little cupid messenger, aka MLCM, is licensed to deliver all your wuffy duffy messages to your cuddly snuggly little one.

For this limited Valentine’s offer, when everything is ridiculously overpriced on this sentimental day, you’ll be pleased to know that, MCLM not only have the love of your life in mind, MCLM has also learnt from J.Lo that Love don’t cost a thing (ya right).

So, break your piggy banks for that little high school crush of yours!

Chocolate Bouquets @ cut throat prices!

7 Rocher bouquet: S$12.90
9 Rocher bouquet: S$15.90
11 Rocher bouquet: S$18.90

Special chocoflower bundles @ slit wrist prices!

3 roses & 6 Rocher bouquet: S$15.90!
3 roses & 9 Rocher bouquet: S$15.90!

Additional Rocher/rose added to each bouquet will be charged @ S$1/stalk (rocher) and S$1.50/stalk (rose)

And with value added service, all the above items come with a FREE HEART SHAPED CARD for you to pen your love notes!

Customised orders are troublesome but MLCM will do it for you anyway!

For delivery (within Singapore only, JB and batam not included), there will be a S$10 charge.

MLCM accept POSB Saving fund transfer or Cash on Delivery.
In view of overwhelming sales, MLCM closing date for all orders will be 11/02/07.

Please contact Jaslin by sending her an email at rosesnchocz@yahoo.com.sg

Ok ok? Jaslin my friend lah.

She likes to do these little twinklets stuff and she promised me an hour massage if i post this for her.
And yes her massage is so kickass im willing to sell out.

Thu
25
Jan '07

all the wild women out the back door

It was a wild night at CDM.
Here presenting the beautiful people i met there.

First up, Jay who’s my ticket to the event.
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Kyer and Tia, coupled with Mia, we are the new PowerPuff girls ready to take on the world!
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‘cept that they are all but 19. I think I better audition for the role of the old villian witch.

Then i saw Matthew, the poor guy covering for FashionTV
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while Tobi, who took me around Cebu, nullgoes gallavanting.

Here’s Jo Wee with Ziv,
love that crotchet top. and what’s inside it.

Didn’t exactly see Sara there though here’s proof that she is also a parteeee animaaal!

And whose presence oughta be felt at all events?

SUPERMODEL JOANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNA

By the time my colleague melvin turned up, i was pretty sloshed.

And while surfing mkop.com.sg, i found my other pix there!!

In November, i attended an event at Xi Yan with Ron, 2 doors away from where i now work, their 1st anniversary celebration.
Xi Yan is a conceptual fine dining restaurant whereby, like a wedding dinner, you RSVP and turn up not knowing what’s on the 8 course menu for the night.
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Lastly, just a quick plug for ACTION THEATRE’s new offering “Everything But the Brain“. It’s playing from now til sunday at the Esplanade. Go watch lah. I caught it on tuesday. Enough material for another blog entry. So wait lah wait.
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Tue
23
Jan '07

eh. go get your own scratch post.

’nuff said.

Sat
20
Jan '07

my hand glows in the dark

Man. that was one hell of a night.

waiting for pictures to come in from the horny good people at mkop.com.sg

CafeDelMar was jammmmmmed packed. can’t really enjoy the place much, even with the amazing self refilling carlsberg bottles.

MOS had 19 lambos parked in their garage. I knew mao’s would be somewhere in there. He’s too stuck up drunk prolly to even say hi. Bah.

Clinic at cannery was quite subdued. Or was it just me. Quiet room, drinks and i can hear my tummy protest against the amount of beer and whiskey that’s going into it empty.

Never before have i gone home so early in spite of all the chops and band on my wrist. Newton, was my final stop for bak chor mee and sugar cane!!! Dinner at 3am at last!

Fri
19
Jan '07

Afterlife - Sunrise (CDM vol.8)

ho lah ho lah.

fight la fight. bitch bitch. *meow*

i don’t write liao lah.

i’m done.

it’s freaking friday. off to cafe del mar.

give me a break.

love,mia

Sun
14
Jan '07

i am so privileged.

Or in my friend’s words:
“You can get away with almost anything huh.”

We were over at Raffles Hotel Bar and Billiard for after work drinks and i was craving for desserts after our light bite at Seah Street Deli.
The waiters were clearing the buffet tables when we got seated.

I saw trays of chocolate truffles and pralines sitting prettily on bar top, beckoning me.
Walking over to salivate admire the dainty chocs, a chef came out from behind the bar and asked, “Good evening mam, is there anything i can help you with?”

Sure you can help by dishing me those chocolates!!

“Erm, are you clearing out the buffet table already?”

“Yes mam, anything i can get you before everything is cleared?”

“Are these for the buffet only?”

“Yes mam, they are for the buffet.”

“Can i order dessert off the menu?”

“No mam, i’m afraid you cant. Dessert and everything else here is for the buffet only.”

“Oh. Okie. Then neh mind la. We not here for buffet, only drinks. Is ok. thank q u ah.”

I walked back to the seat, dejected.
My friend, being the gentleman he is, tried to cajole our waiter to bring us some dessert but all the waiter could say was, “Er sorry sir, my first week at work la. I don’t know if i can do that. sorry ah. I really not sure. my first week you see…”

And while he was standing there telling us his lifelong employment history, a waitress came by our table and placed a plate of chocolates on it.

She beckoned to the chef while pointing to the plate of pralines.
Woaaaa talk about service!! The chef got the waitress to bring us the complimentary chocolates!!

I smiled and thanked the chef who’s still by the bar. I must have looked pretty desperate to him.
Well, i do almost get away with anything i guess.

Unlike this handsome chap here.

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He’s been found guilty of rape in the Philippines.

And I had absolutely no idea what was happening on the other end of the blogosphere until i saw comments on my previous posts.
Kenny happened to be online, so who else better to consult than the prince of blogosphere.
He managed to coax me into reading Wendy’s blog again.
I didnt manage to get very far but yea yea i got the story, and we went into a lengthy discussion about it.
Kenny and me that is. He wanted to know what’s my take on it. The blog entry not just the entire court case.

Sometimes, yes we may be quick to sympathise and point fingers but there are always two sides to a coin and in times when there’s only your words against the other, the truth may get distorted.
That’s why we have laws. To have a common consensus (which is hopefully more often right than wrong) and a common governing rule.

excerpt:

Your honour, based on the above presented evidence, may we press charges of 1st degree hypocrisy?

Fri
12
Jan '07

it all started with a kiss

if you are expecting a kiss and tell story, you are at the wrong site.

I fell in love with a drama story when i first watched the original japanese version of the adapted manga, itazura na kiss.
And that was also the first time i went ga ga over a japanese actor. 柏原 崇

Takashi Kashiwabara
Watch the video if you don’t agree with me.


He is just so damn cute lor.
Watch the video over and again till you agree with me.

Then i watched the taiwanese version of it.
(don’t know if it is the version of the manga, or version of the jap version of the manga, or a version on its own or wat wat)

I went ga ga over the actor too.

鄭元暢 Joe Zheng Yuan Chang

Watch the video if you are not convinced and watch it over and over again till you are.


He is also damn cute lor.

Sigh.

Decisions decisions decisions.

Mon
8
Jan '07

so you wanna be a beauty queen too?

I realised quite a number of girls read my blog.
So….all the women, independent throw your hands up with me!
This is dedicated to you, who deep down inside still harbour the girlish dream of doing the pageant wave.

And whilst i had to deal with the comments that i’m too fugly, too pear shaped, cannot be ms singapore, bad representation, too dumb to give answers, i just shove it down my bra, hike up my panties and stride it out on stage.

With little understanding of pageants and the negative connotation that comes with parading in bikinis on stage, people are often too quick to criticise.

I remember watching Miss Universe year after year and i find myself saying “eeeyer, she got fat thighs, yucks her nose so flat, are those buck teeth?”

That is, until I catwalked a mile in their highheels shoes.

There are various hurdles before a girl gets her ticket to the international stage.

It’s takes either a damn lot of guts to step out on stage or it’s just overflowing ego that propells you into the limelight.

Local audition: depending on the prestige of the pageant, usually 50-300 girls will apply for the pageant to be held in their home country.
Selected 20 girls will then go through various rounds of swimwear, elegant gowns, sports attire, Q&A and proceed through heats, semis and finals.

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Finals is exceptionally difficult because aside from memorising the choreographed stage positions, the girls are also expected to dance with grace and lithe while having butterflies in their stomachs, balancing precariously on their 5 inch stiletos and having their smiles plastered on for so long that the facial muscles start to twitch involuntarily.

The fact that you know that every inch of you is being scrutinised right down to your very last pubic hair (that’s why a brazilian wax is highly recommended), will kinda make your balls guts shrink.

Once you survive all that and emerge victorious, congratulations, you are just about ready to fight tooth and claw with the girls from all around the world.

Firstly ,it’s a delicate balance. You have to be proud of who you are and yet appear humble enough (just in case you lose lah).
All that talk about, everyone’s a winner, that’s bullshit lah.
There can only be one winner. Duh.
It’s just a nicer way of saying that you suck but you dont suck all that bad.
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Secondly, please be armed.
And i don’t mean scissors to cut gowns, pins to prick boobs, lighter to burn up hair etc.
Arm yourself with
a) lots of padding
b) lots of hair pins/safety pins
c) various makeup colors/brushes
d) accessories.
e) cup noodles and chocolates. Food can earn you alot of friends in foreign lands. (and secure you a Miss Congeniality title! who says titles can’t be bought!)

Thirdly, do go with an open mind, to interact with the girls, to enjoy yourself and have the experience of your lifetime. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true.

Most pageants (both local and international) will arrange for the girls to do some charity work, usually orphanages or some women’s cause.
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It was amazing how little gifts of stick on tattoos could brighten up these children, simply because they don’t have much to begin with.
I left that place with mixed feelings. Of helplessness, yet with a dash of gratitude. Sad that I couldn’t do more for them, thankful for my fulfilling life.

And there are only 2 universal languages; english isn’t one of them.
Complete strangers bond over 1. music and 2. cigarettes.
Never mind that there’s no common language; we all bop to the same tune and they’ll laugh hysterically over puffs.

The worst part of the whole experience is not results announcement. It is saying good bye.
Being in close proximity with each other in a foreign land, we were forced to bond and look out for each other despite it being a competition. Comforting and sharing, fighting back fatigue and being homesick.
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i miss them terribly now.

For those interested to find out more about pageants and the works, do check out Global Beauties, it is a pageant encyclopedia.

Mon
1
Jan '07

happpeeee new year!!


(me with my new fugly fringe au naturale. this is after 3 weeks of growing it out. thank goodness my hair grows fast)

it’s a whole new year coming ahead of me, i don’t know what to expect or what to hope for.

Reflecting on the past year, i’ve tried to remember the things that mattered, things that hurt, things that excited, and things that didnt bother.

The year kicked off with a doggie fashion show i choreographed at Lot One and in February, I went for a drive in johor.
My friend had arranged for a total stranger pick me up at 630am outside my house and i was a little apprehensive getting into the car, but somehow the driver, in his own quiet demeanour, put me at ease that early morning.
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Maomao was someone i’d met only twice but i hold him in high esteem because i’ve always felt he had a huge heart.
That was also the first time i experienced going down the roads at 240km/hr and leaving my brains behind.


End of the first quarter, old friend Mick sent me packing for Cebu where i toured his film school and shot for FashionTV. That was also the first time i’ve been to the Philippines. Little did I know I would have alot more to do with Philippines later in the year.

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Hosted my first big event with Eugene for the launch of techie mag T3 at Zouk!

The first half of the year was spent co-ordinating Jamie Cullum’s concert here in Singapore. Working with Adrian, i learnt much and met alot of people who now plays prominent roles in my life.

Adrian, was not only a boss willing to teach me, he was also incredibly generous. Having just finished the Louis Vuitton flagship store launch in HongKong, he returned with a LV bag as a christmas gift last year.
holey mama christina aguilera!!!! my verrrry first LV bag okay!!!
dont laff. I very SWA KOO one okay.

Michel was someone I met in May while I was arranging for the concert’s post party to be held at SUBA, one of his joints. He also runs Hacienda at Dempsey Road and upcoming Superfamous.
This guy is one HUGE mystery i intend to solve by the end of the new year.
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The concert went smoothly and i had complimentary tickets for Kenny, Miyagi and Brown. Also for Jules from Youth.sg and Aik Boon from Dewtouch who so kindly sponsored my site!

On 06/06/06 my site goes online! This is one huge milestone and something i can call my own.

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Set foot on an oil rig for the first time.

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Met kennysia for the first time.

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Went to NDP for the first time.

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

The later half of the year was more unkind.


Windosr passed away in the early hours of the day I was to sit for my driving test.
I aced it but never drove again.

Went to Albania for the first time and fed on nothing but salad, cheese and tough meat. The whole lot of us got shouted at for 3 weeks and if not for the company of the girls, i would have bought my first flight out.

Got hijacked for the first time, (hopefully the last) and on hindsight, could have been killed if the Greek fighter jets escorting us from Albania to Italy, over the Greece airspace, had shot us down since they were already given permission to take out the plane should anything happen.

Had my first encounter with frenzied media and never would i have dreamed in my mediawhore dreams that i would be in all the papers locally, overseas and even CNN, BBC!
Well, everyone has 15 minutes of fame and i have 3 days worth!

Hosted Miss Philippines, Jamie, at my house for a night after the hijack and took her to Newton hawker centre for makan and Mustafa Centre for deepavali lights and late night shopping!

Helped out in my first charity event, Make-a-Wish Children Foundation, since leaving school.
I did alot of flag raising events back then but it feels so much better now when you participated because you wanted to, not because you wanted to gain points for ECA and JC entry.
It was so inspiring and refreshing, i’m sure i’ll be doing more of that in the new year.

The year ended on a relatively sad note for me. With a slipped disc, I no longer enjoyed prancing around as much as i used to, no more pretty heels, and i’ve to live with pins and needles in my left leg.

So a toast to the new year, with good health and wisdom, surrounded by true friends and happiness, warm families and prosperities!!!!!
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Sat
30
Dec '06

hear ye hear ye

alright alright.
i hear you guys.

now hear me out?

Here’s an excerpt of some lines from wendy’s blog. (taken from various entries)

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The reason for the childish petition stemmed from “Why are they allowed in Orchard road when they don’t contribute to the shopping centre sales” and “ban them from Orchard road”.

Thus the “ban wendy from orchard road because her dim wits don’t compliment the christmas lights” petition.

I didn’t say molestation is allowed, in fact i did applaud her for voicing it out.
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When i spoke with Miss Australia during the Albanian trip, she spent millenium here in Sentosa and she was also a victim of molests.
She said she felt a finger go in and out of her during the foam party where the soap suds were up to their waists. When she turned around she saw a few dark skinned men standing behind her.
All the while when she was relating this story, she never used vulgarities or insults against them nor put them down. She only went on to describe how horrible the incident was and how scared she felt.

That was the reason why i “stuck-up-edly” told wendy to write more carefully next time.
When i helped out with teaching blogging modules in schools for www.campusmoblog.com.sg, i told the children, life is never fair and sure, you’ll want to lash out at people or things that annoy you, but tell your story without incriminating others, me thinks.

There were other things on that agenda when we filmed that day.
My first agenda was to attack wendy on those racist remarks and hers was to attack my looks and body.
And why my job status on the papers terms me as a model when i do alot of other random stuff like teaching blogging, hosting, acting and organising jamie cullum’s concert.

So naturally, we both became defensive on our end and i’m sorry if you were offended by my “oh i am so gorgeous high and mighty miss singapore globe” status but that was my only trump card standing for my lumpy pear shaped body.

Eh i really so fugly ah? Maybe i should ask mediacorp to send me for plastic surgery and do a reality makeover show hor.
*tsk tsk* that’s the closet mediawhore in me talking again.

I think nash pretty much summed up how i felt about that segment.
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thanks for all your comments and i take heed.
much to learn on my end as well and please la, kenny is not fat. have you seen him naked?
i don’t really care whose side kenny or kelvin is on. i respect that they are friends of both ends.

So as this year draws to a close, i’ll have reflections to make, new directions to embark on, fresh friends and old pals, dear family ties over pineapple tarts.

ohoh and more acs boys. *wink*
okok i don’t literally mean boys, i just happen to like men with the ACSian heritage. big or small.

Mon
25
Dec '06

and so the story goes…

for those who are still clueless about why there’s a huge influx of insulting brainless comments on my blog, here’s the reason why.


and it all started because of this.
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Let me just say that editing makes a world of difference.
30 minutes of thrash talk edited into 3 minutes.
I guess the part we filmed about racism and irresponsible blogging was too touchy for local tv.

*shrugs* if that’s the direction they’ve gotta take, i also boh pian. such is the reality of media entertainment.

i lumpy meh? tall lumpy better than short stubby right?
space between my eyes are better than empty space between the ears right?

you know you don’t have to agree with me right?

Fri
22
Dec '06

blasts from the past

It is rather freaky when skeletons start crawling out of the grave.
Or in my case, come tumbling out of the closet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene: Raoul Paragon Time: 14th Dec 2100 Mood: Contemplative

Shopping for Christmas gifts dedicated to the most important men in my life.
Browsing through the racks of shirts, ties and cuff links, i was having mental visuals of how they would look in each outfit, but it is completely scientifically unexplainable why the clothes can’t seem to stay on them.

“Mia Yan! Mia Yan!”

Jolted from my visuals of naked men, i thought i was so far gone, i started hallucinating.
Nonono, cannot be. If i ignore it, the voices will go away.

“MIA YAN!”

I turned around and saw Isabelle!! Belle used to sit in front of me in Sec4 and was the maths whiz that saved my pathetic souless life through endless A Maths lessons.

It’s been 10 years since we left school!

==============================================================

Scene: Clarke Quay Time: 15th Dec 2300 Mood: Lost

I stopped by a restaurant to ask for directions to Forbidden City and i spoke to a waiter in a Scottish kilt.

“Hi how do i get to Forbidden City from here?”

“Oh go straight..turn left turn left again……”

I wasn’t quite listening. I was sure i saw that face before. Somewhere in the dusty corner of memory.

“Wait wait….i know you from somewhere don’t i?”

“You are Ming Yang is it?”

Oh my holly candy canes! MINGYANG! The people who call me that are waaaay back in secondary school days! And the only time i could have met boys is during tuitions so i decided to take a shot in the dark.

“Ya! We met in tuition class right?”
“Yea we met in 96, we played Daytona together before and i know you stay in town.”

I’m ashamed to say i forgot his name. BUT i did give him a contact card so i’ll be hearing from him soon!

*********************************************************************************

Scene: Craig Road Time: 18th Dec 8.30pm Mood: Bewildered

I got an sms “Mia?”
I replied “U?”

Turned out it was Chris. I met Chris when i was 17 maybe? and i remember our first date, he picked me up in a merc cab and we went to Top of the Hill next to Jurong Bird Park for teppanyaki dinner.
I was bowled over naturally, i was only 17!!

Several years on, we went to see a showflat at Cairnhill the Light. He was intending to get a place of his own.

Then we were completely out of touch for another 4-5 years and he SMSed me to meet up for dinner.

As i saw him sheltering me from the rain, i remembered how cute he was. A little Jay Chou-ness.

Dinner at Chijmes and dessert at Swissotel, we talked about our lives. He’s long finished his masters, worked as an investment banker and is completing his medicine course next semester. Helping his dad out with their family hotelier business, he spoke of travels and i temporarily forgot that this boy is actually 2 years younger than me.

——————————————————————————————————-

Scene: Dad’s Car Time: 22nd Dec 10.05am Mood: Christmas

I received an SMS.
“Mia, are you still using this number? It’s me, PK.”

Oh my freaking Santa Claus! PK! My “brother” from JC days! You know how it’s like in the USA, they are so ulu, got no telephone, no email or internet, even postal services are slow, so i never heard a pipsqueak from him ever since he left for studies 2 years ago.

Then my cousin MSN me and said Glen sent her a message on Friendtser. I went to check mine and all the hedgehogs in the world came running in! GLEN messaged me too!
Glen! The boy who had a huge crush on me in my JC days, the boy who traumatised his bunkmates for a whole month cause all he could talk about was me!
(bunkmate turned out to be my JC schoolmate who knows my birthday by heart now because Glen would recite it over and over again.)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Blasts from the past.
All before the new year.
Something’s telling me it’s time for reflection.

Thu
21
Dec '06

you make me wish i was 16 again

I adore ACS boys. That is no secret.
In fact, i can sniff out an AC descendent 5 continents away.

Dee, Hwee and I were hanging out at Warong Nasi Padang outside my home and i was bowled over by an acsian presence.
There was this man standing there in queue for lunch with his colleagues.
I stole a glance at him and nonchalently told the girls, “I bet he’s from ACS.”

Dee immediately saw the opportunity to make a quick buck. “$5 on the table, i’ll go and ask him!”
So we agreed to pay for her lunch and she got up to speak with that perfect creation of a man.

“Excuse me, but are you from ACS?”

Perfect Creation turned and looked shocked, thinking one of his ex girlfriends came to haunt him.

“Errrrrrr yes. Why?”

“Oh no nothing lah. My friend found you familiar. There, that one sitting over there giggling away.” , she pointed.

And he turned just in time to catch us oogling and drooling over him.

Wah lau. Saboh.

Yesterday, i was flipping through the SICC magazine and i saw another perfect creation of a man, thus proving that God must be a Goddess.

$5 that he’s from ACS too.

Tue
19
Dec '06

the sound of rain drops pitter pattering

i like the first few minutes of rain, the smell of the grass.

then i like the heavy downpour, the drops pelting down so hard that everything becomes a blur.

xiayu. 下雨

my sentiments exactly. cool and awashed.

Angie, Miss Malaysia just msn me to tell me she saw me on teevee last night.
Everyone else smsed me.

Feedback ranged from “It was unfair!” to “OMG what a bigot!” to “What possessed you to do that?”

But i didnt watch it. I was out with an old friend. Someone i have not met in 5 years. And i actually forgot how cute he was.

Been having these blast from the past moments recently, people that walk out of my history and pop up my name when i least expect it.

Does this mean something’s gonna shake up my life soon?

Maybe.

=====================================================================

I miss the girls. Ryoko (Jap), Angie (M’sia), Jamie (Phil), Me lah (Sg), QQ (Twn) and my poor lost Biscuit.
We are the Asian Invasion!!

Mon
18
Dec '06

hi, my name is ariella.

I want to name my kid girl Ariella.
Thus, i used it for my first and last name of my yahoo email account.

And on friday night, Mick told me, he named one of his boats Ariella.

I didn’t quite believe him, until he sent me the script of his latest movie production, and indeed, the boat in the movie is named Ariella.

Apparently he was thinking of a name when he was going through emails and he saw my email named ariella ariella.

So, the name was borned. He promised to take me on the boat and show me pictures of her along with her name and signage.

Awww. It feels almost surreal that I was pivotal in the naming of a friend’s boat and later to be able to see it on the big screen, frozen in time and history.

Sat
16
Dec '06

happpeeee birthdaaay shuieee!!

 

okies just a quick note to wish my super best friend SHU a very happppeeee birthdaaay!
i’ve known her since we were 10 and she still never fails to remind me how our first introduction was like.

I’m super proud of her to have made it through veterinary school and is now Dr. Ng!!!

We both loved animals and wanted to be vets but is ok i can live my dreams through her.

 

That is a blind stray cat she saved and adopted.

Very 伟大 hor.

yup. that’s her alright.

Sun
10
Dec '06

the rapists

 

Following the intial prognosis that i might have a slipped disc, i was referred to get an MRI scan at Paragon.

After stripping down into the gowns the radiologist provided, i was asked several questions.

1. Are you pregnant?
I am PMSic. What do you think.

2. Do you have metal inside your body?
Does the haemoglobin in my red blood cells count as iron?

3. Is this your first scan?
Ya.

The lady was very friendly, joked with me and explained the proceedure.
I had to lie down on a very stiff and narrow raised platform, and try not to move for the next 15 minutes.
She placed headphones over my ears, muffling out all other instructions she was telling me and all i could hear was Michael Buble.
My head was then strapped in tight and i was reminded again not to move or else they’ll have to rescan. I was also warned that there will be loud banging sounds, thus the headphones.

I nodded apprehensively. Got a little worried because she did mention not to scream or get up if i got scared but to squeeze the little “pump” call button for help.

Errrr…….what does she mean by IF i got scared.

Then the platform started moving and pushing me into the MRI machine that looked like a flight simulator.

Once i was inside, i knew what she meant by fear.
The space felt like it was enclosing in on me and i couldn’t hear anything but Buble. It brought on the feeling of drowning and i’m hydrophobic.

I shut my eyes and tried to imagine big lush forests and open meadows and blue skies and brownies and champagne and sushi and johnny depp.

Then the machine started. “EEEEEEEEEEE ORRRRRRRRRRRhhhhhhhh EEEEEEEEEE ooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh”
It sounded like those warning signals during the government air raid exercise.

When you are in an enclosed space, STRAPPED IN and you hear warning sounds that drowns out the music in your ears, no amount of brownies and muffins is gonna hold you back!

The eeeeee orrrrrh sound then gave way to clanging and banging sound. The kind you’ll hear when your annoying neighbour decides to call in Phua Chu Kang early in the morning. Good thing about that is, you can actally wake up from it.  

*inserts more imagery of  family and friends, more cuisines and hunky men*

Toward the end of the scan, i felt the familiar sharp pain radiating down my left leg again and it got so unbearable i almost want to kick and scream! Thankfully the platform started moving again and i was allowed out into the open space of the radiology room.

 

After collecting my scans, i headed back to the GP who concluded that i do have a slipped disc and referred me to a specialist, an orthopedic.

Made an appointment for early next day, i went to Mount E and saw the orthopedic. He said the same thing my GP did (except he costs 4x more) and suggested surgery to be the best option. I asked if i could do some physio first, he said it’s not going to help much but if that’s what i wanted to do, he will refer me to a physiotherapist at Paragon.

So off i went to the physiotherapist with my MRI scans and diagnosis.
Mrs Ong was a gentle old lady, the kind that gets eaten in little red riding hood, and she put me on a heating machine first to warm and relax my bones before she gets down to yanking them apart.

The traction machine looked like a torture device.

Again i was strapped in at my chest and my waist. My legs were raised at 90degrees and the traction started pulling my lower half of my body from my head.
I had a taste of the ancient chinese torture methods 古代“五马分尸”的酷刑.

Except that it didn’t hurt and i felt quite relived to “crack” some aching joints.
The therapist then proceeded to give me a gentle massage and i was to return again regularly for treatment.

After i left the clinic, i realised that GUESS and GUCCI are on sale!!! 
When a Guess top equates a physio session, i’m suddenly not in much of a hurry to change my wardrobe.

But then again hor, physio and retail are both therapy what right? So i justified myself to a pair of $75 Guess jeans.

 

GP:                                                                                $32
MRIscan:                                                                        $540
Orthopedic:                                                                    $140
Physiotherapy (per session):                                            $75

To regain feelings in my left leg and to prance around again:  Priceless.

 

Wed
6
Dec '06

it slipped.

Remember i mentioned earlier i hurt my back after being on a trampoline for less than 10 freaking jumps?

Well it got better after i saw my sinseh but it was never perfect. I’m walking like a stilt walker who has elephant trunks as legs.

This morning i woke up with an excrutiating pain down my left leg. I’ve always had slight pain in my leg but today left me with no way to stand nor sit. Along with complete numbness down to the soles.
Rushed to the sinseh to check out what was wrong and he referred me to his GP for a jab to relax the muscles and nerves.

Headed to the GP, told him my story and he made me bend over and back, left and right, raise leg and came to a conclusion that I HAVE A SLIPPED DISC.

Booked me for a MRI scan tomorrow morning, which is good cause i want to get back to work in the afternoon.

“No, you cant go back to work. I’ll cover your MC.”

Ok good, i get a day off.

“Nope, i’m giving you the whole week off.”

Tue
5
Dec '06

The Break Up. almost.

For those of you who’ve been expecting to receive an invitation to the Most Happening Wedding of the Centaury, you can stop waiting.

All that talk about putting together a musical show for our wedding, well, it’s not gonna happen.

About a year and half ago, we spoke about the future and family.

I didn’t want kids at all; I just barely started to live life my way, why get bogged down with diapers, milk bottles, prams, strewn baby tees and fussing selflessly over someone else?

Kids = trouble (and then) some.

You know those government advertisements that encourage childbirth by brainwashing you what great joy kids are?
They are as believable as sanitary pad advertisements where the girls in the commercials are prancing around, happy about having their period.

And I wouldn’t want to settle down till we’ve attained a comfortable level of living.

He was hurt.

Fast forward to 2 days ago, we started talking about future and family. The possibility of having kids no longer irked me as much, though I wouldn’t say I’d embrace it.

The irony of it all is that now that I’ve conformed to his ideals, he has begun to believe mine!

We’ve swapped roles ended back at square one but almost 2 years have passed.
He’s thrown himself into work and career that he no longer sees us at the end of it.

Since he can’t promise me anything, yet still wanting the best for me, we both talked it out like we always do, analysed the situation and possible scenarios.

Until I calmly whispered, “So that’s it, I guess.”

“So we are ending it 21 days before our 4th Christmas Eve anniversary?”

That’s when I broke into tears and under the dim street lights, I could see him fighting his own.

In the end, we attributed it to my PMS.
It’s just like how you’ll contemplate suicide and think it’ll be easy. That death doesn’t really bother you, and dying would be painless.

Until you step foot onto the edge of the rooftop, it’ll hit you and you’ll realise just how very precious life is.

I feel my love renewed.

Sun
3
Dec '06

3 needles

I remember discussing with Kelvin over Earl Grey the first time we met and we remarked about how people nowadays regard condoms as preventive measures against pregnancy only.
And then i watched a taiwan talkshow where celebs were invited to speak and interact with studio audiences about sexual activities amongst the younger generation.

It is startling how the group, divided into young men and women have varied opinions on the practises of safe sex.

There was a question that popped up, “In the heat of passion, you discover there’s no condoms on hand. Do you continue or not?”

9 out of 10 girls said no.
Majority of the boys said it depends if the girls are willing (to take the risk).

What does this suggest? The boys will go ahead with it as long as the girl consents and is agreeable to the risks.

I would assume now that the risk they referred to was pregnancy cause it all points back to the girl.

But do the boys realise that they too are running the risk of STDs?

I wouldn’t be so concerned about pregnancy cause hey, at least it is something you can get rid off. But an STD won’t go away.

3 needles is a movie produced by a close friend of mine and is out in the theatres now. It was launched on December 1st for World Aids Day.

I’ve seen the first few edits of it almost 1.5 year ago when he first held an exclusive screening of it at his home.
The actors’ performances are great (Lucy Liu’s first role speaking Mandarin Chinese), heard she took a huge pay cut to be in the film and it won “Best Director” and “Best Cinematography” in the TORONTO FILM FESTIVAL.
A touching drama about the epidemics of AIDS, it is more relevant than ever in today’s world.

Now screening at:

Golden Village Marina
Showtimes: 11:50AM 6:50PM 9:30PM

Golden Village Vivocity
Showtimes: 10:30AM 1:40PM 9:05PM

More info: http://www.3-needles.com

Thu
30
Nov '06

happeee birttthdaaay to me sia!

Alot of Sagi birthday huh!!

Kenny my darling Sia turned a year charmer on the 27th and i turned a year wrinklier on the 30th!!
I also found out over lunch couple weeks back, that my colleauge Charmaine null
shares the same birthday as me!! except that she’s 3 years late.

Had a real quiet birthday, Gene took me out for dinner after work and his friend from waaaaay back in secondary school, Dannyn, joined us for drinks.
Dannyn
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being the sweet Sagi he is (dec 7th!) gave me my very first 26th birthday gift.
He handed me a brown envelope and said Happppeee Birthdaaay! Expecting a cute little card inside, i opened it to find……..

THIS!

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SO GAN DONG CAN!!!!
It’s not just the monetary value of the vouchers but the thought of it! my first gift!

And alot more other gan dong stuff.

Friends who remembered my birthday SMSed me, including Wen Biao from my Uni days and Kean from KL!

My eldest sis gave me a call in the morning from the USA just to wish me a happpeee birthdaaay and i arrived home to find a PARCEL of clothes and makeup from her!!!!!

Diana and Hwee made a surprise visit to my office at 630pm with a cake!!
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I was upstairs busy with some work and the office celebration with charmaine so when i came downstairs and saw the two of them sitting sheepishly at the sofa, like WTF ARE YOU GIRLS DOOOOING HERE!!!
And then we all burst into uncontrollable laughter, giggling like perfect blondes.

And that’s how life should be like.
Surrounded by family and friends who genuinely love, appreciate and respect you for everything you are.

Happy birthday to me!!!

Sun
26
Nov '06

my own set of wheels

Just got home on bus 77 from Holland Road.

When i boarded, the entire bus was empty!!

It feels just like my own private limousine.

Speaking of which, i’ve always wanted a set of wheels for my birthday.


(side track abit, HAPPPPPEEEEE BIRTHDAAAAY KELVIN!!!!! the sexy devil he is.)

When i was 18, i wished i had a boyfriend who’ll give me a car as a birthday present.

When i turned 21, i didn’t even have a license yet. Nor a boyfriend.

Now i’m turning 26 in couple more days, this time with a license, I AM FINALLY GETTING A SET OF WHEELS!!

It’s gonna be MANUAL.
Manual is the way to go. With the gears change and all. Better control. Better gauge.

It will be a rear wheel drive.

It’s durable for long haul cross country.

I can use it on a track.

AND it’s a BM.

The signature Z series.

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Well, at least it’s a start. BMX will graduate to a BMW soon. Soon lah.

Sun
19
Nov '06

say cheese!

Photos taken from the Make-a-wish children foundation.

Boh liao fiddling around with my friend’s cam.
results turned out not bad huh!

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Tue
14
Nov '06

Crazy Taxi

I think driving around in your car for 8 hours a day must do wonders to your wisdom.
There’s time to contemplate about life, its driving force and direction, kinda like a taxi ride.

Thus, always heed the taxi driver’s advice!

Coming in to work this morning, i flagged a cab from my place and directed the driver to Neil Road.

“Ah you going there for mahjong ah?”

huh? er. i don’t know how to play mahjong and it’s abit early right? And there got mahjong meh?

“Uncle, no leh. i going there for work lah.”

“Orrrrh, go work ah? good good but don’t work too hard ok?”

Sure i’ll try not to!

“Ah you just find yourself a good man, marry him settle down then no need to work liao lah.”

He spoke almost as if a good man who can afford to support a princess is as common as the Aedes mosquito.

Bite me.

Sun
12
Nov '06

make a wish, make a wish

If you are thinking of Taiwan F4 Zaizai’s hit song, let me just say that I ADORE HIM!!
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What is there not to love about him, you tell me?!

My closet ah lian persona has finally reared its ugly head.

Annyyyyyyywaaaaaay, the make a wish title actually refers to the “Make-a-Wish Children Foundation”
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I’ve just returned from an event for the Children Foundation, helping to push photograph sales taken of the guests.
When Ben asked me to help out at the charity event, i readily agreed cause firstly, it’s for charity! Secondly, what fun!

Kelly Rowland from Destiny’s Child made a very very brief appearance and i didn’t realise til then that she was brought in by Adrian Hobbs, the fella i was working on the Jamie Cullum’s concert with.

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It was very heartening to see people so forthcoming with the charity auctions and donations, especially since this is a small scale private event.

I feel that Make-a-Wish is one of the most underated charity organisations around, shrouded by all the other big players who make regular full force donation drives on our monopolised tv station.
As its name suggests, MAW literally grant wishes to children with life-threatening diseases. These heaven-sent dream makers try their darnest best to put together a perfect day for the kids to remember, granting the wildest dreams and the most basic of wishes.

Met a couple of my beautiful friends there:

Fiona who is absolutely stunning.
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Tony who is simply ooooooozing with charm. He’s the first guy, who held my hand, looked me in the eye and told me that the future’s gonna be alright. Awwww.
And he can coax a laugh out of anyone, even a guy who’s had 2 fingers up the ass. ;P

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So do your part for charity today!
It’s the season of giving and the spirit of human love.

I can’t put into words the feeling you’ll get when you give of yourself, material or otherwise.
I only know it puts a smile on my face for the entire day and life just seem that much easier.

Give all you’ve got and more.

Fri
10
Nov '06

Waiting 2006

I received a recommendation email from Youtube and was suddenly reminded of a short film i did sometime last June.

The director has uploaded a trailer video of the film that never quite made it anywhere. Presumbly coz of the fucked up DIY styling and unconvincing makeup!

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(talcum powder in hair, seaweed in teeth and random lines on forehead)

I play an old woman who pines for her lover over a course of 70 years.

He was to marry a rich girl but he was in love with me and on the night he broke their arranged marriage, they both got mugged and murdered.
I didn’t get news of that so i always thought he eloped with the girl.
In the end, she appeared to me and persuaded me to give up waiting.
Then my character dies, and realises that all along, he’s been with her, waiting for her to join him.

Filming was done in a day, in a rundown room at MayFair motel (Monopoly MayFair?).

I’m not sure if it was the location, or the lighting then, but the scene where i had to cry and be agitated while telling my story, there was a gush of sadness that overwhelmed me, (even now as i type).
It felt like there was something lingering with regrets…..

See the trailer here.


Thu
9
Nov '06

nothing much… just that i miss them.

Sun
5
Nov '06

Notre Dame de Paris

I was very very very very very fortunate to be invited to the opening night of this french musical.

Even more so coz it’s a FREAKING VVIP RED CARPET EVENT!
My friend said it’s a black tie thingie so i have to be in a gown.

Problem is, i cant sit or breathe in a gown.

So i decided a nice cocktail dress would be appropriate enough. Afterall, it’s at the indoor stadium, not like it’s at the esplanade!

Boy was i wrong. There were people who did turn up in gowns! Though most were in cocktail dresses so at least i wasn’t undressed underdressed.

And i had the honour of meeting the French Ambassador and his wife, who were introduced to me by the GM of Novotel Clarke Quay. They all heard about my hijack incident so i had to relate the story all over again.

I thought i was gonna be bored since it’s all gonna be greek french to me but THE MUSICAL IS SOOOO VERY VERY GOOD!

I have to admit, i knew nothing about the story of Notre Dame other than having visited the church itself, know it’s a disney cartoon adapted from a classic by Victor Hugo and it has a man looking like an armadillo.

Little did i know that a disney cartoon can also be about lust and LOTS OF LUST! It drives grown men crazy enough to plot and scheme and betray each other.

There’s Esmeralda, a gypsy woman, free spirited of song and dance. I don’t know what’s so amazing about her, since gypsies are supposed to be mysterious wanderers, dressed shabby and eccentrically talking to apparitions.

Yet she’s pursued by, not one, not two not even three but FIVE MEN.
FIVE!
That’s 5x more than what this pageant queen has!

There’s the childhood friend who grew up with her. He seems like a good candidate since they are both shabby.

Then there’s the poet who wants to make her his muse. This is cool cause then she’ll be the leading actress in every one of his play.

A militia captain. Who doesn’t love a man in uniform, you tell me?

The priest. THE PRIEST. Now. This is every woman’s dream. Other than turning a gay man straight, to turn a man of cloth, she must be the devil in disguise, or simply heavenly.

And the armadillo, who’s ugly, out of shape, outcast, King of fools and shabby, but since God is fair, he’s all good inside.

So the stage is set, the story unfolds, the characters were introduced individually in their segments. Every guy wants her for themselves, nobody wants the pretty, well-to-do, high society Fleur-De-Lys.

Why ah?

Is it because bad girls have all the fun?

I also want to be bad leh.

Tue
31
Oct '06

it’s hallooooooooooow weeeeeeeeen!

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senseless doodle. that’s what happens when you start to prepare chocolates and halloween Post-It greetings for everyone in the agency, and then you realise you need 15 unique pictures!

now that’s some doodle that took alot of time to craft.

 

 

You ready for something REALLY sccaaaary now?

 

 

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HORRORS!!!!

That’s no FAB BOD! It’s a FAT BOD!   eeeeeww.

It scares me enough to get my ass off the seat now and do some jumping jacks.
Oh wait, i’ve got a bad back.

Damn. I’ll exercise tomorrow then. Same goes for the diet.
There’s always tomorrow.

Thu
26
Oct '06

your donations will be much appreciated

your continued contributions will benefit this unfortunate little girl who now has humongous bills to pay to the blood sucking organisation who coincidentally has red as their coporate color how appropriate.

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I have until the 28th Oct to pay up, failing which my phone is going to be cut off and i shall mysteriously disappear from the surface of Singapore island, given a new identity, all thanks to the red company.

sigh.

And i hurt my back trampolining.

Can you believe that.

Less than 10 jumps on the trampoline and something moved out of place.

I cant sit properly, and i cant bend over to pull up my pants.

So now i stand here, butt naked waiting for the next calamity to whoop me in the ass.

Sun
22
Oct '06

17 articles and one more coming up!

I finally finished scanning all the news relating to the hijack and it’s a WHOOOOOOPING 15 articles from all the major papers over 3 days.

Add that to a report in January, the recent Bookends and a HotBod segment coming up on Sunday Times, that’s a hell lot of clippings.

Man i feel like Britney already.

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Wed
18
Oct '06

1.6 million dollar rock

I stepped into Jewel Fest 06 at Takashimaya tentage all by myself.

Not a very smart move.
I should have brought along someone with a huge credit card limit.

Nonetheless, i still enjoyed myself, sipping champagne, getting offered Rochere choclates and watching a fashion show presented by SooKee.

One of the models looked very much like Jade from America’s Next Top Model. I just watched my first episode of this season on monday night and here on tues, i see her?!

*blink blink*
Must be the haze deteriorating my eyesight.
Turns out it IS her! She’s in town!! o m g.

After the fashion show, i was minding my own business, browsing the gems when someone from Habib Jewels stopped me.

“Hey Lady, would you like to see the biggest one around here?”

For a moment there, i thought he was going to whip out his dick and show me his family jewels.

Instead, he led me to a showcase and there it was. A 20carat, heart shaped diamond ring, worth more than my entire life, 1.6 million dollars!

“Since you here, why don’t you try it on?”

And he took it out, and handed it to me.

I am holding a 1.6 million dollar worth diamond in my hands!
Carefully i slipped it on my 4th finger, not daring to exert much force.

In fact, i didn’t slip it on fully.
What if it got stuck and i can’t take it off?!!!

Now, is anyone crazy enough to buy it for me?

Sun
15
Oct '06

Bookends

Thursday i had a call from Straits Times.

“Hi, this is Belle from Straits Times Life. I would like to interview you.”

Oh finally. Im all ready to retell my tale.

“I’m writing for Sunday Bookends so i want to interview you regarding the books you are reading at the moment.”

Huh whaaaa?!

BOOKS? ME?

The bimbotic bells start ringing in my head.

err….i’m having dinner with some friends. Can you call me back an hour later?

I HAD TO BUY TIME and i have only 1 hour to sound intelligent.

So she calls back after dinner and i spent a good 24 minutes on the phone.

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What was not mentioned was that the book was bought from Carrefour bargain bin for a mere $5!
“Reading is a personal thing. I’m not one to follow chart toppers, it may not be up my alley.”
And the lesson i learnt from the book was “Letting go of seeking approval” cause you need to win the judges over, wow the crowd, make yourself popular so you end up trying to please everyone.
Which, i now know, is impossible.

Then she almost tripped me by asking me “So can i ask you to recommend another book?”

HENG I GOT READ AH!!!
Bimbo pageant queens dont read anything but fashion gossip magazines right?!

Out comes Allan Pease to the rescue.

By now, she prolly thinks i’m a wreck cause i only read self help books.

“Do you read anything else other than self help books and stuff related to your work?”

I do i do!
The entire Dan Brown series, Mitch Albom Tuesdays and 5 people, The crazy dog in the night and i oughta be getting started on The Game.

Watch out. The player is coming to town!

Fri
13
Oct '06

Turkish Air TK 1476 Hijack Part 3

10.00PM

We exited the plane orderly, taking with us our hand luggage.

As i looked out of the cabin door, i saw lots of police cars and fire trucks.
FIRE TRUCKS.
They were all prepared to “clean up the mess” should anything happen.

We went through security checks, our bags were all opened, body searched before we were allowed to board a bus to take us to the transit lounge.

11.00pm

At the lounge, there were food and drinks provided and we grabbed it like we haven’t eaten in days. However, none of us really had the appetite to eat.

There was alot of activity going on, lots of Italian police, going around questioning people. We were also brought to a small room where we had our baggages checked again and questioned about where we were headed and what were we doing in Albania etc.
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12.30AM

Lots of waiting around, the police are still circling us, people were trying to get some sleep and the “health problem” Albanian fella just wouldn’t let up on the fact that “(he’s) an American citizen! I need to speak with the American embassy! I will sue your airport and the airline if i don’t get to make the call!”

Geez. The Italia Policia obviously got sick of his constant reminders that he’s an AMERICAN CITIZEN, so they curtly replied “Sir, you can call your embassy and do what you want, but now this is all we can do for you.”

Well done. I was getting so annoyed myself, i imagined walking up to him and tearing his passport up.

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2.00AM

Our passports were taken from us when we first arrived and we still haven’t gotten them back. We have already missed our connecting flight home to Singapore at midnight, so everything seemed really bleak. The waiting was actually quite draining.

3.00AM

We were told that a new plane have been waiting to take us since midnight but the Italian police wanted to be really secure, that’s why we were all held behind. We were then brought to claim our luggages from the belt and everything was opened up for checks again.
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4.30AM

We finally boarded our flight back to Istanbul and it felt almost a little eerie to be back into cabin space.

5.40AM

TAKE OFF ONCE AGAIN!

This time, we tried to catch as much sleep as we can in the 1.5hr flight.

7.00AM

TOUCH DOWN!

It was as beautiful as i remembered it to be when i first arrived at Istanbul airport on my way to albania. I love airports in the morning. There’s something so fresh yet so sad about it.

Except that this time, there’s also a sense of insecurity when the arrival hall is lined with more police.

Once again, our passports were taken from us and flight details are recorded to arrange for new transit flights home.

10.00AM

We were allowed to leave to claim our baggage but we were mobbed by the press the moment we stepped out.
There were HUNDREDS of cameras, microphones, flashes going off like a tropical thunderstorm, everyone’s talking at the same time!

“Tell us about the hijack!”
“How did you feel?”
“Did you see the hijacker?”
“DO YOU HAVE ANY FOOTAGE!!!”

Firstly, it’s a 16 hour ordeal, secondly, of course feel scared la. Thirdly, i saw the hijacker and thought he was a technician and lastly, NO I DO NOT HAVE ANY FOOTAGE.
It would be absolutely stupid of me if i said i had footage cause i’m pretty sure, the press would be crazy enough to snatch my bags and luggage.

“Oh why no footage! They are paying 5000USD per minute!”

right. no electronic devices on board remember?

By now, we’ve lost the guide who was supposed to take us to luggage, all thanks to the mobs of press who cut us off.
(this also explains why the published pictures of us at the airport have us looking so pissed and tired)

12.00PM

Arrived at the hotel arranged to put us up til our transit flight home tonight at 1150pm. Got our rooms and we hurriedly went to change for lunch.

2.00PM

After lunch, we did a quick wash up and there’s no time to lose! Dinner is at 8pm and our bus which takes us from the hotel to the airport leaves at 830PM so that only leaves us 4 hours of sightseeing!
Armed with information from the concierge, the 3 of us set out in a taxi to roam the streets of Istanbul!!

(note: none of us had any sleep from the morning of the 3rd til the midnight of the 5th when our flight is finally homeward bound)

Tue
10
Oct '06

Turkish Air TK 1476 Hijack Part 2

 

5.20pm-6.00pm

En route to Italy for a “technical” problem had me at the edge of my seats. Every rattle made me worry if the engine was gonna fall apart!

 

6.00PM

The landing was one of the scariest i’ve ever had. I saw the ground coming closer but our speed was not slowing down!When we touched down, it was literally a screeching halt. I even had to stretch out my hand to support myself from being thrown forward!

 

6.10PM

We remained on the runway, which was another odd thing cause we ought to have been taxi-ed away to the hangar for repairs?
I could see buzzing flickering lights outside, which i assumed was the “service” trucks that have arrived to “repair” the technical problem.

 

6.30PM

I HAD to pee. So i stood up.
“Please M’aam, PLEASE SIT DOWN. The aircraft has not come to a complete stop. PLEASE SIT DOWN!”

By then, people were fidgeting and wondering why we weren’t allowed to move around in the aircraft.

One guy even claimed he has a health problem!

There’s an Albanian guy who recognised me as Miss Singapore so he kept saying “hi miss singapore!”

6.45PM

I looked around for some service staff and saw a guy dressed in Dark Blue pants, shirt with a dark blue cap, walking in and out of the cockpit. He seemed to be speaking with the captain and the crew.

At that moment, i thought he was the “technician”. Afterall, he was dressed in all dark blue which DID look like a uniform!
Figuring it won’t take too long to fix the plane and trying to take our minds off things, i took out a deck of poker cards i’ve always brought along with me.
It was a gift from Mark Gan, NSF boy, who taught me magic tricks for the talent show in the pageant.

I chose card tricks because Singapore’s IR is coming up, so i figured cards will be a good icon for Singapore.

 

7.00PM

PA: This is your captain speaking. Is there a doctor on board? Please identify yourself to the crew. Thank you.

 

7.30PM

Amazingly, time passes really fast in a small constrained space and when we are playing “Dai Dee”. We were now very puzzled as to why people are still not allowed to move from their seats. The stewardess keeps telling everyone to sit down and keep quiet.

I wanted to go to the toilet but the stewardess said it was locked.
Weird.

Looking out of the windows, we saw police cars. Lots of police cars.

What in the world is happening! Technical fault that was going to cause a blowup or what?!

 

8.00pm

By now, the plane is buzzing. The passengers were all restless and the crew has stopped giving commands. Instead, they’ve started handing out sandwiches and drinks to passengers who requested for food.

The aircon has gone off, leaving us stuffy and unable to breathe.

 

8.15PM

The aircon comes back on thankfully and Kanksha (India) asked for some food. The stewardess whispered NO to her and said DANGEROUS.
WHAT DID THAT MEAN?!

Now, urgency crept in and Angie started to weep. We tried out best to console her and wait it out.


8.30PM

Suddenly the lights in the aircraft went out, leaving us in total darkness momentarily. The emergency lights along the aisle came on. I looked around again for some form of help as we all didn’t speak Albanian or Turkish so we didn’t understand all the gibberish that was going on amongst the passengers.
I saw the air crew give us the hand signal to duck and take cover and all the passengers on board SCRAMBLED to squeeze themselves into the economy class space between the seats.

Jamie, Angie and i quickly ducked and tried to stay out of sight, away from the windows!!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!

At this point, i kept picturing the plane is going to be riddled with bullets with flying window pane and spewing blood and screams!
Then the scene gave way to the S.W.A.T team storming the plane, black masked uniform men screaming “GET DOWN GET DOWN!”

Thankfully, none of that happened.
We crouched together in that tiny spac, looking at each other with fear. That’s when i decide to call my mom.

“HELLO MOMMY AH!!! i dont know what’s going on, but our flight got diverted and now we are in darkness, have to hide somemore!! HOW!! i update you more ok?”

Jamie and Angie also used my phone to call home.

(thank you Singtel for excellent roaming! i can’t wait to see my bills)

Angie was still crying and Jamie and I had to feign calmness even though we were all panicking inside.

8.50PM

The lights came back on and the guy who claimed to have a health problem told us that we’ve been hijacked!
Cause the passengers were conversing in Albanian on their phones. Their worried families and relatives had called them after watching the news of the hijack on CNN!!

THE WHOLE WORLD except all of us on board knew we were hijacked!

I called my mom again and she also found out from my sister in the states that we’ve been jacked!

 

9.00PM

The Albanian guy who recognised me as Ms Singapore then told us smilingly, “Miss Singapore! Don’t WORRY! We are all safe now!! It’s OVER!!”

Is it really over? Why does everyone still look worried?

 

9.30pm

The police comes on board and tells everyone to remain seated.

PA: This is your captain speaking. Please take your luggage and exit the plane. ONE BY ONE.

(stay tuned for footage outside the plane and security checks!)
 

Sun
8
Oct '06

Turkish Air TK 1476 Hijack Part 1

 

Miss Philippines Jamie just SMSed me.

“Hey Mia! I just got home! Had to check into a hotel for 2 days to accomodate the press. Feels so good to be home at last! I want to thank you so much for everything! I’ll c u soon! Love it!”

Woah. The Philippines Press must have had a media feeding frenzy over her.
I, on the other hand, am surprised that NONE of the local press asked me for a 1st hand account or a timeline of the whole incident!
They asked how we felt, what thoughts went through our mind but no one was really interested in the actual happenings.

So here i am, gonna blog it out.

Coz like i’ve always said, I AM MY OWN PAPARAZZI and over here, the words come out just the way i would have liked them to be written.

 

October 3rd 2006 Tues

Jamie, Angie and I shared a room with QQ (taiwan) and we woke up 8am, eager to get the most out of our last day in Albania. Shopping for souvenirs was the first thing on our minds and the only shop we found after 15minutes of walking was the Supermarket.

Stocked up on chocolates and cigarettes, we made our way back to the hotel for final goodbyes.

QQ was at the brink of breakdown when we were leaving, for her flight home was another 2 torturous days later.

I fought back tears until i saw Laura (Italy) crying. She was a tough Da Jie Da figure to me and to see her crying broke my dams.


(both are laura. Laura from Italy and Laura from Hungary, and pronounced LAU RA not LOR RA) 

 

I sobbed so hard  when Olga (Russia) came running over for farewell. She is the reigning queen in my heart and i’ve always told her so.

As the cars took us away from our new found friends, we were saddened by the departure but oh so looking forward to being home.

 

12pm noon

Arriving at Mother Theresa airport in Tirana, we were unceremoniously “dumped” at the entrance. No one from the organisation helped us with luggage, check-in or translation. What a vast difference from the VIP welcome we had when we first arrived. BAH.

Wang Cui (China), Diana (Romania), Laura (Hungary) and her manager, were along with us as our flights were at 2.30pm, 3.30pm and 4.30pm

We bought some souvenirs at the miserable 5 duty free shops there and waited in the departure lounge. TK 1476 was due for takeoff at 3.30pm. As the minutes went by, we wondered why the boarding gates were still not open.

Laura and Diana came over after their check-in for the 4.30pm flight and were surprised to see us still waiting.

 

4.30PM

We learnt that the plane was delayed due to technical problems when the boarding gates finally opened and we waved byes to Laura and Diana.

 

 

5.00PM

TAKEOFF!! HOME is just another 15 hours away!!

 

5.20PM

PA: This is your captain speaking. Due to technical problems, we have to make a landing in Italy. We should be arriving in another 20 minutes. Thank you.

That’s when our hearts sank. No, not another delay. We just want to get home!
Sigh.

And if there’s one thing i’ve benefitted from pageants, my geography got a whole lot better.

Here we are, headed for Istanbul, Turkey. However, we are stopping at Miss Italy’s home, which is in the opposite direction, for technical repairs?

Doesn’t quite make sense.
Unless they are seeking the Formula1 Ferrari team to fix the plane………

 

 

(stay tuned for more exciting updates, including FOOTAGE from the flight.)

Sat
7
Oct '06

dancing queen

video testing video testing.

this is a video of me dancing during the “DISCO QUEEN contest” at the pageant.
Jamie, miss philippines won the title!!

EH it takes alot of skill not to let your sash fall off while dancing ok!
muahahahahahaaa!! bimboness.

im soooo haapppppeeeee to be bacccccccccckkkk i cant stress it enough!!

'

My beloved Biscuit

 

Let me show you two of my favorite pictures from the trip.

 

 

We visited an orphanage in Saranda, Albania and i gave out Singapore stickers as souvenirs for the children and staff
I put on these two tattoos for them personally!!!

It was an odd satisfaction when i saw them showing off the tattoos, almost as if they felt they finally belonged somewhere.

 

Will write more soon, a little upset. I realised i left behind my soft toy doggie, BISCUIT, on board the Thai Airways flight during my last leg of transit back.

He goes around the world with me each time i travel for the past 3 years, and i kept telling him on this trip how much i wanted to be home.

Now that i’m home, he’s not.

'

Hijack Queens

 

 

Taken on our very first day upon arrival in Albania after being on the same 15hr flight from Singapore.
So glad that we were in the hijacking ordeal together.

Fri
6
Oct '06

I’m home at last!

Thank you so much for your SMSes of concern!!

I cant reply to everyone coz i was busy on transit, finding my luggage, getting to my flight on time and my handphone battery was going out flat.

Still cant believe i was actually hijacked!!!

I know i’ve always wanted to be in a Quentin Tarantino movie but this is real life drama!

Most of the local press were present when we (Angie malaysia, Jamie philippines) landed at Changi Airport, but it was the MOBS of press at Istanbul airport that stunned us. Hundreds of camera flashes and sticks of microphones blocked our view and cut us off from our Turkish Air guide who was taking us to baggage control.

Give me some time to grab sleep coz these few days have been stressful and hectic!

I’ll post pics and vids from my trip once i get down to resizing them!

More stories then!!!!!!

SO MUCH TO SAY!!!!

Fri
29
Sep '06

i miss home

please let me go home.

it’s 2am here in Saranda, South Albania.

After a full day of rehearsals, they brought us to partee, (YET AGAIN) from 11pm til now. Rehearsals start tomorrow at 9am.

I am not happy here.

nope. not one bit.

the crew is rude, expects us to listen but never listens to us. made to wake up early and sit and wait in the lobby for hours.
food is salad soup meat chop/pasta cheese. and it repeats itself everyday, 2 meals a day for 3 weeks.
No shopping, no souvenirs, sorry people if u were expecting gifts. zilch.
I’ve been made to party no less than 10 times since we got here. It is insane. I am tired. worn out.

i cant smile.

there’s no reason to smile.

please. just let me go home.

i’ve never missed home so much. my parents nagging, Gene’s bragging, girlfriend’s bitching.

im crying here alone in the business centre as i write this. fuck the mascara. the pageant is in 2 days.

everyday i count down to the day i can bid farewell.

Im coming home soon!

 

 

Tue
12
Sep '06

I’m leaving on Turkish Air

There’s been some last minute changes to my flight so i’m flying off wednesday night (instead of scheduled fri) 13th sept 11pm to Albania for Miss Globe Int’l pageant.
yes yes another one of them world peace waving blowing kisses thing.

where’s albania you-who-fall-asleep-in-geography-class ask?

i don’t blame you. i had no idea where estonia was when i first met Ms Estonia at the airport.

Before you call me a pageant addict, let me just say that it’s not as easy as it seem on teevee.
And i do love being an ambassador for Singapore.

I hope the girls i meet this time around are as sincere and lovely as those i’ve met in Wuhan.

I’ve had the privilege of loaning two dresses from Astonii, Jackie who owns the place, brings in branded clothes from Milan and Hongkong, sometimes even way before their season.
So if you are keen to see some of the clothes, head down to Novena, United Square #B1-63A

These last couple weeks haven’t been kind to me, and i seem to have lost my zest and bubbles. I didn’t know how bad it was till friends are telling me they are affected by it.
Hopefully this trip will put the spring back in my steps and the chirp back in my voice.
********************************************************************

All my bags half packed, i dont want to go.
I’m sitting here in front of my comp.
I hate to nudge you just to say good bye.

But the bulletin is flooded and
The blog site is never read
Already i’ve run out of words to write.

So miss me and smile for me
Spend your everyday wisely
I’ll be home in 3 weeks
You shall see.

Coz i’m leaving on Turkish Air
12 boring hours and transit there.
Oh sian, i hate to fly.
***********************************************************************
 

Fri
8
Sep '06

Windsor passed, I passed too.

Windsor had an important mission even before he was brought into our home.
He was too young to even know it then and it was unfair of us to place such a burden on him but his doeful eyes were the only thing that could work magic to get him out of trouble.

There’s this set of rosewood furniture in our living room that has been with us for 30 years and i’ve never spent anything more than 30 minutes on them each day. It was so hard, rigid and my sisters and i all longed for the modern soft lounging SOFA.

See, his mission was to chew through the legs of these rosewood chairs during his teething stage so we can get a new set of sofa!

Today, the furniture still sits in our living room, but he’s no longer with us.

Windsor, our family’s 1st dog, passed away 230am, 8th Sept 2006, early this morning.

===========================================================

When my sis selected him from a litter of puppies, she made sure she saw kindness in his eyes before pronouncing him a member of our family.

The day when they went to fetch him, the breeder told them he had accidentally fell into the pool and nearly drowned that morning had his mom not woken everyone with her barking.

From then onwards, he hated baths and stayed safe on shore, away from sea waves.

I remember coming home from GP tuition class in 97 and as i entered the door, i thought i saw a new black fur rug on the living room floor.
He was so pitch black and laid himself flat out like he owned the entire room.

So the house was abuzz with the excitement of a new puppy, toilet training to basic commands. He was a quick learner, recognising his corner, the newspaper and getting easily bored with his toys.

The rosewood furniture was spared but our ratten dining table legs still bears the scars of his teeth marks and the lower rung knobs of our kitchen drawers are all gnawed splinters.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We always say Greed is his choice of sin and indeed it is.

For his first birthday, we bought him a birthday cake and had a candle on it. In the midst of the birthday song, he couldn’t wait any longer and lounged forward to sink his teeth into the sponge cake.

Almost instantenously he pulls back and we smell burning hair!

Chinese New Year is his favorite time of the year. There’ll be strange visitors to bark yet and the rate of table food “accidentally” dropping seemed alot higher.

We were seeing our relatives to the door and out to the gate. When we returned to the living room, the plates of new year goodies were on the floor!
The Kueh Lapis was relished, no traces of Bak Gua was left and half a pineapple tart saved.

 

Once, we were watching teevee and were wondering why the rascal has been oddly quiet most part of the night. My sis found him in a corner chewing on something.
She pryed his mouth open and tried to fish out the foreign object.
The offending piece of meat, turned out to be one half of a chewed lizard. Needless to say, we never found the other half.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I taught him how to “shake hands”. I spent a good 45 minutes locking myself in the kitchen with half a bag of Begging Strips Bacon, repeating at least 100 times “Shake hand goood boy! Shake hand……GOOOD BOY!” whilst lifting his front paws.

Thought i almost drove myself and my sis insane with the repetition but HEY HEY HEY whadddyaaa know, i’ve a natural flair for dog training too!

Windz loved scampering up the stairs to my parents room and sleep with them. Every night, despite my parents feigned anger “what are you doing up here?!”, he’ll show up without fail at their door and have a cheeky smile that seem to say “To sleep with you guys, what else?”

There’s nothing more he hates than well, every other thing that moves. From cats to birds and even the passing motorcycle.
And there’s nothing more he loves than eggs, bak kut and char siew pau.

 

We always knew he misses us, even though he pretends not to bother when we say bye. Especially when we forget to leave a light on for him when we leave him alone at home. Our neighbour would tell us, he’ll be whining and pacing up and down the kitchen and back yard til she has to call out his name and calm him down.

Just how much he’d miss us, we didn’t know until some time late last year when all of us were overseas. Mum dad in the states with my eldest sis, my 2nd sis was in china filming and i was also in china for pageant, so we got our uncle to stay over and look after him for couple of days.
He refused food and sulked all day. Separation anxiety that poor chap.

*************************************************************************************
The whole house feels weird now.
There’s no movement on the floor. No one to finish the scrap food.
No barking doorbell. No one to come home to.

Now we are the ones suffering from seperation anxiety.

 

“”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”"”
Oh, and i passed my driving test today. Got my license!
More about it another time.
Gotta pack my bag.

Wed
6
Sep '06

I’m so sorry, Steve

 

On Sunday night, me and gene were feasting on late night supper of maggi goreng and nasi ayam. There was absoluetly nothing good on teevee in the wee hours of early monday morning, so i was channel surfing and ended up on one of my favorite channels, Animal Planet.

I figured if i can’t host for Discovery Travel, Animal planet would be 2nd best.

Steve Irwin was “fooling around” with a black colored, supposedly very venomous, snake.

“I cant stand him leh. The way he speaks is so annoying and his exaggerated facial expressions is so fake. Sometimes i don’t know if he’s really afraid of the animal or just mock fear. Buay tahan. Like no respect for these living fossils.
I hope he kena bitten jia lat jia lat someday.”

That was what i said in jest.

And the very next day, Steve Irwin died from a sting-ray barb that pierced its toxin filled tail through his heart.

I’m so sorry. I didn’t think it would be that jia lat.

Fri
1
Sep '06

The story of Chang-er

 

In true spirit of Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction, one of my favorite TV spooks, i make up stories along the way about certain facts of life and try to pull the wool over my friends’ eyes.

One of the following stories is true, the rest are made up by me lah.

 

Story #1:

Long before our time, in the far province of Thailand, there lived a wilful princess. Her name was CHANG.
She had a blessed life in the palace, got everything she demanded and was rude to everyone.
The common folks despised her for there was once she held a man captive to serve her, regardless of his pleading wife and children.

So, they approached a divine master to cast a strong spell on this princess. It was a complicated ritual as the royal family themselves, were said to be protected by the heavens.

However, the stars were on their side, and the wilful princess Chang was transformed to a huge, lumbering elephant.

To this day, the Thai people still rememeber this story by having their national beer named after the wilful princess.

 

 

Story #2:

Long before our time, in some province of China, there lived a wilful king. He was as arrogant as any king should be. Believing he ruled the earth, conquered the seas and owned the skies, he wanted to live forever.

So he sent his scientists and pharmacists to research on an immortality medicine.

News of this eminent project spread far and wide, casuing much fear amongst the plebians.

If the tyrant king lived forever, then everyone would suffer!

At this time, the King’s wife, Changer, was a beautiful and compassionate lady. She knew it would be living hell for the people should the King live forever!

One sunny day, an official ran to the King shouting that an elixir is produced and the King demanded to consume it that night.

Chang Er, overhearing this, planned to steal the elixir before it can be presented to the King.

After sundown, she sneaked into the imperial medicinal hall and searched frantically for the pill. Just as she found it, the officials entered the hall so she quickly swallowed it.

The King was very angry when he found out and ordered Chang Er to be killed. She ran as fast as she could and suddenly, she couldn’t feel the ground anymore! 

                         
She started floating towards the sky and the full moon!

In this modern day, we still remember Chang Er and her brave deed during the mid autumn night’s dream, chomping down on our mooncakes.

 

 

Story #3

Long before our time, in the only province of Lithuania, there lived 3 girls.

Chang, Chang-er and Chang-est

Chang-er, not happy with being 2nd best nor 2nd last, lived in complete misery. Everyday she wished she could get away and not be compared with her other sisters.

So she called the FedEx guy and had herself shipped to Siberia with a budgie in the crate for company, where she can live in total isolation and be the best there ever will be.

 

The End.

Sat
26
Aug '06

Pluto lost

NEWS FLASH! NEWS FLASH!!

As of Thursday 24th August 2006, Pluto, which was discovered in 1930, has been debunked as the 9th planet furthest from the sun in our solar system.

What is the future of Pluto now that it’s no longer a planet?

Rumour has it that Mickey the Mouse has adopted him and the only way you can see pluto is at Disneyland.

 


Pluto made his debut as a bloodhound in the Mickey Mouse cartoon “The Chain Gang” in 1930.

“The scientists agreed that, to be called a planet, a celestial body must be in orbit around a star while not itself being a star. It must be large enough in mass for its own gravity to pull it into a nearly spherical shape and have cleared the neighborhood around its orbit. Pluto was disqualified because its oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune’s.”

 

 

Wed
23
Aug '06

my debut release on cinemas worldwide

Ladies and Gentlemen,

May i present to you “An original local production, starring an award winning stellar cast, with box office breaking weekend opening”

Mia’s Vlog for Discovery 5takes audition!


don’t laugh okay!
i hope speaking proper english didnt make me sound pretentious. bah.

Director - Eugene Tay
Script - Mia Tan
Makeup/Wardrobe - Mia Tan
Sound technician - Eugene Tay
Postproduction - Grace Buy
Executive Producer - Mia Joo Tan

Mon
21
Aug '06

The Speak Good English Campaign

 

I was rather miffed when this campaign was revived.
What is wrong with Singlish?!

Driving around for dinner the other day, we found a vacant lot by the road side.
Instinctively i asked, “Can fit or not?” referring to the seemingly small lot for my friend’s luxury car.

As he expertly parallel parked it into the tight spot, he enlightened me, “Can fit or not is not proper english you know.”

“Aiya, but you understand what i was referring to right?”
 

I recall when i was in primary school, i had those english books that teach everything you needed to know about vocabulary, grammar, similies etc. 

It was my pocket bible if i hoped to pass my english papers.
Perhaps we should start handing out these books to Singaporeans as part of the Good English Campaign.

It was then i learnt that nouns are naming words, verbs are action words, adjectives describe a noun and adverbs describe a verb. Funny why it’s not an adnoun.

 

 

 

And somehow, evolution of Singaporean Speech started omitting pronouns and conjunctions, even removing punctuations.

This i credit to the fact that our country is so efficient, we dont even waste time on grandiloquence just to get our point across.
 

“Do you think your spacious car be manuevered into that Lilliputian space?” 

Gosh. So pretentious right?

Can fit not. Simple, direct, to the point.

 

One gripe i have though, is not the sentence structure but the limited vocab library and the understanding of tenses.

Shoot became shooted not shot.

This again, i credit to the fact that our country is so governed by rules and it is instilled in us that if the decorum states we add an -ed at the end of a word to make it past tense, we’d do it to EVERY word.

(or else someone will jump out, throw a green overcoat on us, with a fine of $50 and make us do corrective work, editing all the bad english in the school examination papers.)

 

“How are you feeling and what are your plans for the day?”    

   vs

“U today how? Do what?”
 

 

“Do you know which bus service takes me from here to there?”   

 vs

“Down here got what bus go there?”

 

Essentially, Singlish is so much more efficient. 

To me Singlish is distinctive of us, of my country, of our people. You can recognise a Singaporean abroad, not merely by the accent but the style of speech, peppered with the many different languages and dialects we have.

As we struggle to find an identity for Singapore, extinguishing Uniquely Singlish and implementing proper Standard English will make us, just like the rest of the world.

So don’t comprain we not unique.

Fri
18
Aug '06

VJ Utt has a crush on me

Shameless but true.

Dee, Hwee, Shaun and I were shopping at Paragon yesterday.

We saw VJ Utt, cute as can be, wearing a cap and window shopping.

The two girls went all giggly and started running away, hiding in nooks and cranny, playing hide and seek with their imaginary friend.

It was quite embarassing as i watched from behind a wall, the 2 of them scuttering past Hugo Boss.

Later when i found them at Guess boutique in the other wing, Utt walked past AGAIN.

Has he been following us?!

And this morning, i left my house in a rush, heading for a casting and right as i turned the corner of my street, there he was AGAIN, sitting at the chee cheong fun stall outside my home.

Stalker. Geez. I’ll never date you ok? Get over it.

Wed
9
Aug '06

Happy Birthday Singapore, and many more to come.

 

I had a terrible Monday night, woke up on Tuesday upset and angry. Went for my driving lessons at Paya Lebar, knowing that my traffic judgement will be clouded by my emotions.

As i stepped out of the MRT station, there were 5 young adults, dressed in Blue tshirts and shorts, holding tin cans in their hands.

Damn. It’s flag day everyday. Now they even run donation drives on weekdays?!

“Hello Miss! Would you like to donate to the charities? It can be any amount, as long as you are giving!”

I starting fishing for a 50cent to buy myself a peace of mind.

“Your donation will go to help 20 over charities, such as the ……………*rattles off*”

*plonk*

“Thank you Miss, thank you so much. Have a GREAT DAY ahead!”

I was jolted out from my angst. His enthusiam and cheer had a strange uplifting effect on me and i found myself actually smiling, believing that, YES it will be a great day ahead.

As i walked off, i heard him approach another lady behind me with his well rehearsed “Hello Miss!”

The lady has already donated and flashed her donation sticker. Not one to give up, he continued “Miss, can i then request for you to make a second donation. Any amount will do. Just a second chance for these charities please.”

After my drive and a quick lunch, i was making my way back to the MRT station. This same guy approached me.

“Hello Miss!”

I flashed my sticker at him before he could continue.

“Thank you so much for donating, but will you please donate a second time? These charities need your funding. Just a little bit more.”

I couldn’t refuse him. Not his tireless words, not his personalised attention, but his sincerity that genuinely touches you to give, just that little bit more.

“Have a wonderful day!”

Thank you Kang Wei from NUS Bizad, i really did have an excellent day, unexpected good news, and thank you for reminding me that a little does go a long way.

========================================================== 

I wrote the above entry as part of my Singapore Birthday dedication simply because charity drives have become a huge part of our people’s lives, from humble annonymous donations to full force “in-your-face” TV donation shows. And who can possibly forget the charity saga that chilled our giving hearts. Let that not be the only reason that bonds us as Singaporeans for there are many more things to be appreciative for.

Happy Birthday Singapore.

Thu
3
Aug '06

Our Global City, Our home

A friend of mine, Rick* was having dinner with me one night and i was animatedly recounting my experience at Miss Tourism Queen of the Year pageant at Wuhan in October. Suddenly, at the end of my stories, i proclaimed, “i love my country! i love singapore!”

So he couldn’t refuse me tickets for this year’s NDP preview show.

I’m a little ashamed to admit this but i’ve never been to a National Day parade and worse, i’ve never been inside the Singapore National Stadium.

 

Excitedly, i packed my bags with water and chips, picked out my best white tank top and red bohemian capris, armed myself with the most patriotic spirit and headed off to Kallang with my girl friends.

 

        

 

And man, you know you’ve arrived when you see SWAMPS of people dressed in RED AND WHITE!!
From the MRT tracks to the overhead bridge, past the open air carparks,  i could feel the tingle of excitement in the air, the celebratory mood from the crowd is electrifying!!

The queue to enter the stadium was, least to say, hello-kittyish. Half of Singapore showed up, with family and picnic bags, standing in the humid late afternoon sun, all with one common goal.

 
THE NDP GOODIE BAG!!

 

Those men in uniforms *drools* were handing them out to the civilians and i ripped mine open (the goodie bag, not the army boy) with the same excitement like a kid opening her first christmas present, (or like a Singaporean checking on their Progress Package).

I swear they packed those bags with me in mind. I’m gonna bring some of those stuff with me to Albania for my Miss Globe Pageant. The Singapore flag, the cap with the blinking flag, and especially those stick-on tattos that say “MADE IN SINGAPORE”. Sticking them on my body during the swimsuit round would add a funky twist to the bikinis.

The show started with Gurmit Singh, Michelle Chia, Jean Danker coming down the flying fox, past the heads of the red sea and they ra-raed the crowd into doing the Kallang wave.
MY VIRGIN KALLANG WAVE!!

ALL YOU PEOPLE THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND WAVE THEM LIKE YOU JUST DON”T CARE!!!!

now screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmm!!!

 

My favorite part of ALL national day parades. The March-in. and the Fly-past

              

Seeing our armed forces in the field, in total unity, serves to remind me that we should NEVER EVER take our safety for granted.

I remember once, chatting with an American over drinks, he asked “How can you call yourself a developed country, when your people don’t even have the basic human rights to the freedom of speech?”

Well, i think that’s a small price to pay for safety in my country.

I once had a Briton tell me, “I’ve been living in Singapore for over 10 years, married a local girl and settled down with our kids. I returned to my birthplace England for visits and i couldn’t wait to come home to Singapore.
I feel safe here, for my family my kids. Home should always be safe and not make you fearful. Home is a sanctuary and Singapore is mine
.”
Look at our people.

     
It wasn’t until i was there to experience it for myself did i realise,
Why is it that, year after year, every National Day Parade have similar performances?
 

 

Singapore is built on nothing but our people, working hand in hand. And this is reflected in all our NDPS, creating formations of colors and dance with the one resource we all are proud of, OUR PEOPLE.

It’s our birthday. Let’s celebrate!

Happy 41st Birthday Singapore.

 

 
*name changed to protect the identity of my very paranoid and painfully media shy friend (though I think he can be quite an exhibitionist).
 

Tue
1
Aug '06

The Libertine

The Libertine is one of the most awesomely stunning movies i’ve seen.

Starring Johnny Depp (can there be any other reason for this movie to be less than brilliant?) as the 2nd Earl of Rochester, John Wilmot, who lived for the passion of flesh but succumbed to his love for theatre, poetry and egoism.

Expect an inspiring script, close-up shots of expression, long takes of the stage and be completely blown away by its artistic protrayal of an otherwise frigid monarchy and realise that, even the best of us desire to be accepted and acknowledged.

The trailer:


(spoiler ahead)
Depp’s Prolouge: Sex is good. Sex with johnny is even better.


Only screening at Golden Village Plaza Singapura.
Don’t say i didn’t inform you.

Mon
31
Jul '06

Fulfillment

Two nights ago, half drunk in my japanese themed guest room, Shaun was in a sombre mood.

He turned to me and asked in all seriousness, “If there is something, you want, in your life, to give you fulfillment, such that your lifetime here on earth is complete, what would it be?”

I was taken aback. Woah. That’s a very cheem question to come out of this 22 year old, who’s usually the one joking and entertaining me (for once!) more than i do.

Unleashing the impossibles, i told him, “I want to be in a movie, directed by Quentin Tarantino, and acting opposite Tony Leung. Or Johnny Depp. Dont matter.”

Then he said, “But what happens after you’ve done the movie, it’s been screened and off into DVD sleeves? Where’s the prolonged fulfillment?”

hmmm.

Alright, let me fine tune that then.

“It is to be able to host a series of episodes for Discovery Travel and Living, that will take me trotting around the globe. It is my goal this lifetime to see what’s on the other side of the planet so this trip to earth is not wasted and i don’t have to return for a second look. I can then astral project to other universe in my next lifetimes.
Also i would like a co-host on the program, him being Playmate Eugene, who’s my soulmate with the exact wavelength and same chemistry component.
What better fulfillment than to spend my days working on my passion for hosting and the camera, derive recognition, travel the world with a loved one who understands and still get paid to feed myself and family. And when all that ends, there’s still the memories and experiences shared enough to last a lifetime.”

Nodding, he seemed satisfied with my answer as he reached for another glass of Vodka APeach.

At least you didn’t say something bimbotic like 50% of CityDevelopmentLtd.
I’m hungry, can cook for me noodles
?”

I went to the kitchen to make instant msg noodles for him and gene, all the while pondering his question. Why settle for CDL when you can have Temasek Holdings. Or Donald Trump. Or Macdonalds. Or Microsoft.
Dumbass shallow people.

 

Sun
30
Jul '06

FTV video


Sun
23
Jul '06

Sir, would you like coffee or tea?

Seems like campaigns aren’t always the best solution. Since our early independence days, Singapore has nurtured a tradition of campaigning for change.

The Stop at two campaign, originally targeted at controlling population went into overdrive and now we are facing declining birthrate, is one of my life mottos.

Stop at two lychee martinis if i want to control my birthrate.

I can still remember the green frog telling us to keep our home Clean and Green, which has successfully earned us the Garden City title.

However, the Courtesy campaign which has been going on for the freaking longest time, has shown little improvement in changing our society.
Our locals hardly say thank you when i hold the lift door open, i get no apologies when they cut my queue and please,

somebody anybody!!

explain to me why the rush to board the mrt but people go into slow mo once they step into the train.
What happened to stand behind the yellow lines, let passengers alight first and move to the centre of the car/rear?!!

Likewise the recent SMILES campaign, to create service standard to rival that of Singapore Airlines, has done nothing much but a pebbled ripple.

Donald Tsang, Chief Executive of Hong Kong, visited Singapore recently and craved for our local Bak Kut Teh pork ribs soup.
Being the busy man he is, he could only afford to have dinner but the popular Ng Ah Sio Bak Kut Teh closes after lunch.
Despite requests to keep the shop open for this VIP, it was a flat no.

Thankfully, Ah Hwa Bak Kut Teh, another reknowned stall which also closes after lunch, made the exception of staying open for the politician, hosted him for dinner and the media in HongKong was buzzing with praises for her and condemning Ng Ah Sio.


A weekly Sunday ritual with my family @ Ah Hwa.Those hands scoop up the yummiest ribs for my parents, long time customers turned friends

Going the extra mile does have its benefits but we shouldn’t go the distance solely for rewards. It has to come from within, the goodness of one’s giving self.

There’s a downside tho. I cant get tables at Ah Hwa anymore!

Their business upped 50% since the publicity went island wide in HK and SG!
Gotta wait till the hulabalo dies down before i can bite into the juicy ribs again.

Sat
15
Jul '06

cebu and manduae

I visited a very famous cathedral the sunday i arrived. The Santo Nino Church.


The convent of the Sto. Niño de Cebu founded by Fr. Andres de Urdaneta on April 28,1565
the day the Legazpi-Urdaneta expedition arrived in the island.
On May 8 of the same year, when Legaspi and his men planned the urbanization of the city,
they allotted a “place for the church and the convent of San Agustin“
where the Santo Niño image had been found.

Church service was packed with locals and i squeezed in with the crowds to take a look.

The locals were praying and i was awed by the cravings as well as the paintings on the ceiling.

Almost as if, leonardo da vinci himself was here hundreds of years ago, working on these intricate paintings.
Also hung along the walls were other murals.

     

I took a moment to say a quick prayer (though im not a catholic) and went out to wonder the grounds.

Just outside the cathedral is this huge arena where people sat around chit chatting and when i looked up the skies, i believed in angels.

 

 

The first sight that greeted me when i left my suite this morning was this blissful image.


basking in the morning sun.
I went around the school today (monday), where everyone came abck to work and was able to show me around. The editting suite, the recording studios, the voice rooms, the computer graphics etcetc.

That’s part of the school behind me, it is huge and self sufficient, with canteen and all, and it sits facing the sea!


This is the drawing board i found in the graphics department, rough drafts of the animated characters they were producing.

This is my favorite.


I am your fairy princess.

 

And then it was off for more gallavanting!

Noell drove me to a lapu lapu monument, near the school, in a LIMO!

YES A LIMO!

First time i’ve been in a stretched car, i felt like a princess.

This is the inside of the limo, complete with flat screen monitors and wine chillers.

       

And this is how the limo looks like from the front.

 

muahahahaha!! it was actually more like a local van modified to look like that. Notice the two horses at the side of the lights in the middle, talk about horse power.
our local ah bengs also cannot modify their cars until liddat right!

 

The lapu lapu monument.

That is LapuLapu. Yes, that’s the real name lah.

When i read the words, i was flummoxed.

Here on 27th April 1521, Lapulapu and his men replulsed the Spanish invaders,killing their leader Ferdinand Magellan. Thus Lapulapu became the first Filipino to have repelled European aggression.

waaaaaaaaait a minute.
Just yesterday, i was at the Magellan cross and it said……

Something’s not very right here.
Just barely a week before, Magellan planted a cross in their lands, baptizing many locals and was celebrated.

A week later, he gets assassinated.

I questioned Noell what happened in that one week that led to the death of the Spanish hero?

He didn’t have an answer either. 

 
I wanted to buy some souveniers back but all they sold were shells shells shells and more guitars.

It was amazing though, how every single item, from bracelets to lampshades are all handmade with shells found from their beaches.

I walked around finding lunch and i ended up at the police station.

And the poster board i saw outside the station should be placed in every country.


When the buying stops, the killing can too.

After that, Noell drove me into Manduae city for my hotstones massage!!

  

Sorry i dont have pictures of the spa cause privacy is very important at such places, but if you need to know it’s called MEDAH SPA and i paid about 800pesos ($24SGD) for 1.5hrs of kickass hotstone massage. The place was beautiful, clean with shower facilities and very polite staff.

I took a cab back myself that night and i got lost because, unlike Singapore, not all their roads were marked and though i tried my best to give him the actual street name. I ended up having to make (longdistance) calls to the people working at the school to direct the driver!

That was one scary incident, it was late, the roads were not lit and i was LOST!

I had a good sleep cause i had to wake up real early for the FTV shoot at the beach and this is my photographer, Roro.

 

Along with Noell on the left.

My flight was at 3pm in the afternoon so after a quick shoot, i rushed back, packed my stuff and was zipped to the airport.

Last minute souvenirs at the airport waiting area anyone?

 

Nothing feels like home, really.

Wed
12
Jul '06

Stay for the credits!

 

For such a huge production such as Pirates of the Carribean, everyone’s effort counts.

Yet only the main actors, producers and director’s name is mentioned in the papers.
The wardrobe, the makeup the props the computer graphics the location everything involved makes up a long list.

And it is only at the end of the 2.5 hour show that these little names are shown to the world.

Do your part, acknowledge them by sitting through the credits, enjoy the soundtrack and you’ll be rewarded with a 30sec clip right after the movie.

Remember, you read about it here first.

Tue
11
Jul '06

Lessons from the World Cup: You gotta use your head sometimes.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1i_l0OeeMc(i’ve tried to link the vid here but it seems that i need some plugin and cURL php thingie which is sooooo …….)

(i’ve tried to link the vid here but it seems that i need some plugin and cURL php thingie which is sooooo …….)SHOCKING!

I don’t think so.

Please watch the video properly and note the body contact and words exchanged.

 

The maserati grabbed the sedan from the back, pinched his nipples and rubbed his crotch all over sedan’s ass.

I can almost imagine the conversation to go like this.

Sedan: Oei. why you grab my nipples?

Maserati: I’ve never had a french man before.

Sedan: Siao eh, stay away from me or i tell the referee.

Maserati: Come my room tonight?

I would sock the fella in his face if it happened to me.Unfortunately, sedan is bounded by rules of the field and his job hazaard, so he could only use head or feet.    

I upset la, france lost.   

 

Thu
6
Jul '06

Cebububu day 1

Finally gotten down to sorting out my long overdue pictures from the Cebu trip. 

My friend Mick, was very kind to fly me down to Cebu to check out his film school, do a quick shoot for FTV and just simply have a break lah. Too bad it was just a short 3 day trip.

My mom and dad sent me to the airport. This is the first time my parents’ pix are on my blog!


There she goes, up in the sky,
There she goes, beyond the clouds.

 

I didn’t manage to get a direct flight, so Silkair stopped me pover at Davao first.

 

Then 40 minutes later, i arrived at Mactan Int’l Airport.

Touchdown!

 

After putting my luggage down at the suite Mick provided for me, i insisted Noell, my assigned driver and makeshift tour guide, take me around town! 3 days! No time to waste!

First stop. factory outlet!


see the levis docker’s factory outlet?

He brought me to a SINGAPURA cafe for lunch. Do i look homesick already?!

Not wanting to disapoint him, i ordered popiah.

 

Then, armed with the map i picked up at the airport, i pointed to several monuments and places i would like to visit.

Shopping? You want go shopping?”

“Nono. I want to see your country.”

I felt bad making Noell take me around, because i arrived on Sunday and he has to drive me on his rest day because there was no one else around!

We arrived at San Pedro Fort.


FORT SAN PEDRO
Pier Area, Cebu City - The smallest, oldest tri-bastion fort in the country. This served as the nucleus of the first Spanish settlement in the Philippines. It has a total inside area of 2,025 sq. meters. The walls are 20 feet high, 8 feet thick and towers are 30 feet high from the ground level. First built in 1565, it served as a lookout point against enemies from the south. It was also used as army barracks, rebel hotspot even as a zoo once. Now it houses the tourism board and an open air theatre.

I noticed alot of the locals who were spending a lazy afternoon at the fields and marketplace at San Pedro stared at me when i got out of the van.Must have looked very touristy with my bag, camera and shades

The market place had alot of vendors selling snacks to the sunday lazers

 

Then he brought me to the Magellan’s Cross.


MAGELLAN’S CROSS
Magellan St. - Planted in April 21, 1521 by Ferdinand Magellan, this marks the spot where the first Christian Filipinos, Rajah Humabon and Queen Juana and about 400 followers were baptized by Fr. Pedro Valderama. In 1525 to 1740, the Agustinian priests built an open shrine for the cross, but the natives began to take chips from the cross believing it had miraculous power, so a kiosk destruction took place. To protect it further, a hollow cross of tindalo wood was made to encase the original cross which still stands today.

The roof depicted the whole story of how Magellan, this spanish fella, arrived in Cebu and held the baptism for the people.

This painting shows the actual planting of the cross.

 

Then it was evening, and Noell sent me to Mick’s office. He was in HongKong filming so he couldn’t be there to take me around so he got his friend Tobey to take me for dinner.

BigBucks coffee store that Mick set up.

And right on top of the coffeehouse is his bigfoot office building and the IAFT van i was ferried in.

This is mick’s car badly in need of a wash.

And this is the very handsome and OH SO VERY TALL and very single Tobey.

After dinner, i headed back to my suite and had a much needed rest. More to see and do tomorrow!

 

 

Wed
5
Jul '06

The kind of men i adore

 

Alrighty, so i’ve been getting comments that my taste in men is weird.
Believe you me, you aint the first.

I do have the odd interest of liking men with erm, character, for a lack of a better word.

Cause really, i say it once, i say it twice and i say it again now for all to see, it is NOT about the car. it is also NOT about the wallet. and definitely NOT about the bulge in the pants.

It is what’s up there. Nothing gets me more than a witty guy, or a guy with a big heart.

Someone who’s tall, lovable, generous, childlike, with a tinge of celebrity status would be perfect.

I would like you to meet Geoffrey.

 

 

 

To me, being with men is like a ball game. no pun intended.

Most guys are like a game of tennis. Singles or doubles in a group, they hold well paced conversations, with a little variety.

I like men who are a game of ping pong. Taking you one on one, their mind thinks faster than their mouths can speak, and often challenging your vocabulary while you struggle for a witty retort.

But please do not leave me with a man who is a game of golf.
I can say the funniest lines, and be rewarded with a blank stare or just a gratifying uhm. And then i have to walk 30 miles to hit the ball and try again.

Yet of course, i can’t deny that first impressions count and that is usually superficial.
So let me just list a few traits that i find absolutely endearing in men.

 

1. Single Eye Lids

I absolutely adore men who have single eye lids. It gives them a sleepy feel, unlike those big eyed pretty boys.

2. Glasses

The spectacles just adds on the geeky good boy factor and makes them all the more delicious.


This is my friend Andy who is oh so cute.
He also takes kickass pictures. http://www.andywee.com/

3. Loves animals

I feel that any guy who loves animals or has animals, is able to take care of and is sensitive to the needs of a being weaker than them.

4. Sagittarius or Aries men

Strongly believe in the star signs and i do favour these 2 alignments because i’m a sagi and aries are excellent.

5. Articulate, witty, spontaneous, arty farty, creative.

Too much to ask for? I doubt it. He comes in a full package like this.

Oh did i mention i adore ACS boys too?

Tue
4
Jul '06

Lois Lane is a slut.

waaaah lau.

I’ve just watched Superman last night and I’m convinced that Lois Lane ain’t that nice ah lian she leads you to believe.

How can she be pregnant with Superman’s child and convince Richard White that it’s his?

“You were gone for so long, i had to move on. How could you leave without even saying goodbye?”

Bullshit. She must shagged Richard White within the indescernible window period of the first trimester.

Or worse, she was two-timing Superman with Richard White.

Else no man would be so dumb as to believe that the kid is his lah.

 ”Every man knows when a woman is faking it, especially Superman” - Lex Luthor

Sun
2
Jul '06

happy birthday

Just got home from Miss Singapore World 2006, where i had to give away the crown to the new queens. How time flies. This time last year, we were the jittery ones on stage, vying for the crowns and tonight, we were the poised ones leaving our reign.

 
L-R: Ms World Shernice, Top Model Jo ma bitch, Brian nanny, Ms Chinatown Sherry,Mis Intercontinental Rebecca

 

I’m in a melancholic mood now. Because i’m seated here alone at my comp. Thinking about where my life is headed from henceforth. Thinking about the new “friend“ships i’ve forged.

Thinking about, that boy.

It’s 2nd of July, his birthday, and without fail, this day every year, my thoughts will turn to him. It’s been eight years since i last saw him, when we were 18, in college.
Sometimes, I wonder if I ever see him again, will i still forget to breathe?

I remember i first saw him when i transfered to ACJC, I was in the SC combi and he in SB.
Yet he’ll always pop by my class to hang out with the boys.
And i think i just fell for his floppy chlorine bleached hair, along with that tan from all the swimming. The way he wore his AC uniform, pants hung on his hips. Of course the smile too, and the bad boy feel about him and aiya everything about him was perfect lah.

So only my best friend Shu knew about how i would burst into molecules whenever i see him along the hallways, and my “bra”ther was always pestered by me to hang out more with the boys for information.

And then, nearing the end of my first year, we actually started hanging out! Thanks to my “bra”ther, we’ll go out for movies, meals in a group.

I practically lived through everyday with a silly grin on my face, to which Shu will go “spastic mia“.

My “bra”ther leaves for USA for the dec hols and he heads to Europe for a break with his family, and i’m stranded in Singapore for my lonely november birthday.
He promised to bring me a gift and asked what i wanted. So i asked for a traditional hand sewn English bear.

He called every other night, from whichever country he landed up in his tour, telling me about the place and the fun. Though it was less than 5 minutes, i still felt like the happiest idiot in the world each time i heard his voice.

When he returned, i had a hardrock cafe paris bear, and a Swatch watch as a birthday gift.

 


It lights up when the button is pressed and it says “This Is Not a Lamp”
The battery has since died but i cant bear to change it.

 

To a 17yr old who’s living on $50 a week, and hardly any attention from boys in school, those were mighty expensive gifts and surely a token of his affection?

Well, what goes up, must come down. The higher you climb, the harder you fall.

I got my “bra”ther to sound him out and i got my heart broken into smattering bits that night.

Things were awkward and even though my heart still skipped a beat when i saw him in the hallways, it was now out of fear and embarassment.

Just when i thought fate couldn’t be more cruel, after graduating, i signed up with many tuition agencies to earn some pocket money for Uni.
And of all the agencies in Singapore, one called and asked if I would like to take up a Pri. 6 boy in Balmoral Road. Sure, i would. It’s right near where he stays, what better excuse to hang around his house.
Turns out, it was his younger brother i was supposed to teach. Needless to say, i didn’t land the job.

No more ACS rich boys for me. Nah uh.

Cause he’s a god and i am not.

 

Happy birthday. 

 

 

*just a quick note, cause friends unaware of this phase in my life asked when we dated. We NEVER did*

damn. the one that got away. =P

Thu
29
Jun '06

We need to talk. Seriously.

Signs that i have been partying waaaay too much.

 

To be captured on mumtazz.com TWICE in less than a week, at the same location.
SUBA is located at Millenia Walk.
Wednesdays are ladies’ night, free flow cosmopolian martinis from 6-9pm and strawberry fondue! Just ask the very handsome bar manager vincent lah.


Seated: cant remember who, chef-for-hire yuan, lina?
Standing: gorgeous esther, the big guy michel, me lah.

I looked like a complete bimbo with curls in my hair and orchids tucked behind my ear because we had a press conference that morning for Miss World 06.

 

Just last night, my very beautiful (and teenage!) friend from hongkong, michelle, who hosted me when i was there last year, together with diana the babe men swoon over.

Ok now, stop staring at my boobs.

Headed to MOS around 1030pm, had to show the place to Mich, and then we went to butter factory with Gene, Song and Kel. Bought a bottle of TEN HIGH (wtf?!) whisky for $68 complete with mixers and they drank themselves silly.
I’m getting old. All these clubhopping is taking its toll on me.
 

Can i start talking on a serious topic now that i’ve cleared the pictures out of the way?

I just want to talk about, well, talk.

“We need to talk.”

That simple line, 4 words, strikes fear in all men’s heart.

Did i do something wrong? She found out?
Or worse, are we gonna talk about committment?
*insert other committment related words like children/marriage/gowns/CPF/HDB/MRT*

Truth is, we don’t talk anymore.

At least, not face to face.
 

I’ve just received my Singtel bill for the month of May-June and my mom could not fathom how her daughter could chalk up 1139 sms.
(even though she don’t quite grasp the concept of sms in the first place.)

But honestly, neither could i.

With 657.5 minutes of free incoming calls and 173.0 mins of outgoing calls, bundled with the 1139 sms, i must have practically lived through the last month with my K700i glued to my hands.
 

Over at SUBA on saturday, all of us were sitting outside with Michel just beside me and i received an sms on my handphone.

Text Message received from Michel Lu”

Trained through many bitching sessions with the girls, i knew better than to look alarmed. It must be some information not to be shared around the table.

*hits read button*

What do you wanna do after this? I just want to sit and chill somewhere.”

So i replied, “Eh, you can just whisper to my ear why must sms? You send wrong person isit?”

And he text, “I shy lah.”
 

Text messages have turned us into extroverted introverts.
It is a less intrusive way of communication that doesn’t demand an instant facial reaction or verbal answer.
Our instinctual body language is not exposed for judgement and our hearts not laid bare for rejection.
We can take time to formulate the words we long to say but dare not speak.
Perhaps become a little bold to indulge in some flirting.
We even lessen the guilt, weighing on our conscience, when we turn down yet another dinner date from that persistant admirer. 

I am guilty of the sms syndrome. all 1139 of it. Because i am too chicken shit to tell the person in his face that i long to be with him. Or simply to tell him to fark off.

So i do it, armed with my mobile phone and quick fingers, bluntly and brutally, when i could have said it in person and give him a hug afterwards.

This is my motivation for the month of July. Say it with my voice. And save the handphone bills.

Sat
17
Jun '06

i should be so lucky…lucky lucky lucky

I must have been the luckiest girl over the last two days.

I got to meet Jamie Cullum first thing when he checked into Mandarin hotel on Wednesday evening and chatted with him before our excursion to the British High Com for the Queen’s birthday celebration!

It was my first time at the grounds of the High Com and it’s beaaautiful. Huge “mother of all maruqees” were set up in the field, in front of the grand colonial home.
Everything was british that night. From the crowd to the food to even the Aston/Bentley/Royce on display.

Jamie did 3 songs for the crowd that night and i had my fill of scones.

==========================================================

Then on thursday morning, i set foot on an OIL RIG.

Yes. An oil rig. The kind of thing Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck was working on in Armageddon. Took on a hosting job for couple of hours for the official naming of WilPower the rig.

It was magnificent. Not everyone gets to go onboard an oil rig everyday so i took this opportunity to change into flat boots, hard hats, gogles and gloves and made me way up the rig.

Complete with entertainment rooms and bunk beds, we toured the rig, the engine room, the coolers and even the helipad!

All crew has to be transported via helicopter when the rig is parked out at sea.Going up was no problem, coming down was FEAR FACTOR for me. The platforms were mere grills which are see-through all the way to the sea.
So i could see the waves lapping 50M below me should i miss my footing.

*ahem* and i cant swim.

Imagine my jelly legs.
==========================================================
And then, it was off to see Jamie in concert!
He was a blast! Though i still agree with old school jazz, i must say Jamie has got excellent showmanship and is quite the performer.
Bursting with energy on stage, he’s practically everywhere, picking up the guitar to the drums and jumping on the piano.
Unfortunately, i wasn’t really able to enjoy the show fully, having to run around preparing the meet&greet and ticket stuff.

I had lots of thanks that night, from grateful fans who love him and got to meet him, from my cousins who thourougly enjoyed the show, from my “shifus” in the lab who had an entertaining night after work, from my jazz-loving friends, etc.

Some people just deserve the best things in life, simply because they are appreciative.

Made a small booboo that night tho. When everyone cleared out and the stagehands were packing, i was backstage, talking to this spectacled angmoh wearing a tight white tee with japanese words on it.
Angmoh: Hey, you working with the organisers?

Me: yuppers. I’m mia. hello.

Angmoh: hi i’m sebastian.

Me: how was it? busy? you tired out?

Angmoh: it’s the same things we do all the time. am ok. just resting a little before the england match!

Me: did you get this teeshirt from your previous stop in japan?

Angmoh: yeaa! what does it say?

Me: erm…something about alcohol and wine!

Angmoh: it does?! well, got it from some sponsor people.
It wasn’t until i got home then i realised that angmoh is Sebastian the drummer.

DUUUHHHHHHH.
“busy? tired out?”

I feel stupid.

Luckily i didnt ask him if he “enjoyed” the show.

(note to self: find out who the performing artistes are before the show!)
==========================================================
And finally… let me just announce this from the top of my lungs,

I HAVE THE MOBILE NUMBER OF THIS CUTEY!!!

 

 

 

GEEZUS CRIES!
I first set my eyes upon him sometime late last year, in an Oriental Hotel ballroom. Eugene and I were hosting Catholic High Graduation Dinner and he caught my eye.
Immediately, i pounced on a yearbook and flipped through the pages till i found his mugshot and name. Paul Twohill.
What a name! Reminds me of the place i grew up. One Tree Hill.

Before we left, i said “Bye Twohill!” and his friends standing around teased him about it and he looked painfully shy!

The second time i saw him was on the teevee screen! Wearing the SAME outfit he wore for graduation dinner and belting his lungs out.

I’m in love.

Somebody stop me.

Sun
11
Jun '06

she listens like spring and she talks like June…

I love this month.

I can go shopping at the Great Singapore Sale with my girlfriends, stay out past the midnight witching hour, without them having to rush back to husbands or boyfriends.

BECAUSE OF THE WORLD CUP!!

How considerate it is of both parties to have the GSS and the World Cup together so the boys and girls will stay away from each other’s neck.
Not in a seductive way but in a menacing “hand-to-throat” syndrome.

 ”Look honey, see what i bought at the sale! This Blueberry singlet is only $268 after 70% off! So cheap!!”

Usually the response will be, “WHAAAA? That kind of money i can buy 10 hang den polo tees! Or 4 Sara business shirts!”

But during this football season, it’ll be just a grunt, without so much even a side glance to the offending singlet, “Good to hear you’ve enjoyed shopping. Get us some more beer from the fridge sweetie?”

Wait til the credit card bills come in. Or the betting scores.

 

Another reason why i love this month is because of him.

’nuff said.

 

 

 

Lastly, the reason why i love this month,

 

Jamie Cullum is finally coming thurs. Maybe i should do a give-away contest here……

Fri
9
Jun '06

The sun, the sand and the bitch.

headed to cebu philippines in march on invitation by a friend to look see chit chat at his film/acting school.

took the opportunity to do a quick shoot for FTV which he also owns rights to in Phil and Singapore.

This is my favorite shot. Also because it is the most memorable.


Little Miss Miaffet, stood near the leaflets, posed for a shot so dear,
Along came a spider, webbing just beside her, scaring little miss miaffet away!

I was happily prancing in the clear waters and sun, smiling away then i saw a HUGE ASS SPIDER WEB right next to me and a big black mean ass arachnid in the middle of it, waiting to have me for lunch.

I bolted out of the waters, away from that rock faster than you can say “Go Web!”

*shudders*

 

This shot was taken at some abandoned house on the beach. Talk about beach front properties. The roof was completely gone but the toilet bowl was still there.

 

This is another shot i like. Feels like a nice postcard.

 

 

I dont like these pix but it makes me look damn fucking skinny. Which reminds me, i have to watch my diet, can feel myself ballooning a little and i’m sure it’s not the water retention.

See how clear the waters are!

 

Last but not least,

i absolutely lurrrrve this. it’s so happy cheery me.

 Make me happy will you?

 

Tue
6
Jun '06

It’s official!!

I’ve got several people to thank for this huge ass move.

I FINALLY GOT IT UP! www.miatan.com

(not to be confused with the mazda mx5 miata)

Firstly, AIK BOON from DewTouch. He so kindly sponsored my webspace, got his designers to work on my site 24/7, and accomodated all my fickle requests!!!
The end result? Well, you are seeing it for yourself.
So if you need any IT solutions at all, or if you are JUST AS CLUELESS about setting up a site, he’s the man to look for.
email me for his number. He’s still single, by the way. No pix, coz he’s a man of mystery.

 

Secondly, JULIAN from youth.sg for introducing Aik Boon and putting a knife at his neck to get him to help me out!
He’s cute aint he?

 

 

 

Thirdly, Kenny Sia, for hacking into my ftp blog account and worked his voodoo magic to get some of the stuff working.
And of course i returned in kind during his trip here. It’s hard to resist him. Somtimes.

 

Lastly, i would like to thank all my friends who supported my decision to move away from my old blogsite and setting up on my own.

This site is not quite done up the way i would like it to, mainly due to my lack of IT knowledge as well as time.
Busy running around for the concert which is happening june 15th.
Still moving my archives bit by bit and friends are saying, “Why not start anew?” and leave the old entries where they were?

maybe i should.
maybe i’m just sentimental.

or maybe i’m just spiteful.

 

Sat
3
Jun '06

The day Kenny came into town.

I’ve waited so long for this day. Thought about it. Dreamt about it. Talked to friends about it.

I thought i’ll never be ready when it happens. I thought i wouldn’t be worthy.
But i have no time for all those worries coz finally he breezes into town!! KENNY SIA IS IN  MY SINGAPORE!!

The first time i set my eyes on him, the whole world comes to a standstill ala true Matrix style. The shoppers’ crowd at Raffles Shopping center froze and time came to a halt.

There he was, standing in front of me. Just a boy, wanting to love a girl.
*shudder* snaps back into reality!

We went for dinner at Cafe Cartel and man, he just cant keep his eyes focused on my meticulous makeup that i’ve taken 2 hours to slap on. The least he could do was to study it in close detail, admiring the blend of eyeshadow and how wonderfully extensive my mascara is but noooooooooooo, he couldnt take his eyes off Singaporean girls.

He would turn his head ever so non-discreetly everytime a remotely underdressed girl whizzes past our table.

After dinner, he insisted on doing some touristy stuff, so we headed to Raffles Hotel and got him the very original, very authentic Singapore Sling. And i took this opportunity to ask for his signature, on the bill slip of course.

Honestly, no amount of Singapore Slings can beat a uniquely Singapore experience if you’ve never tried to hail a taxi in our streets from 10pm-12mn.
Kenny experienced the phenomenon of vacant taxis that refused to stop and last minute display of “on call” signs.

But the frustration was nipped when a group of guys and cute gals actually recognised Kenny and turned around screaaaaaaming his name along the streets. For a moment there, i felt the magic of celebrity.

Finally a rare cab stopped for us and took us to Katong to meet, the legendary Brown there, Miyagi that. Only thing was, the cabbie didnt have change for our a $10 note so he ended up ripping off a very generous Keep-The-Change-Kenny of $3.

Miyagi and Brown are just like how they are. The perfect duo of each halves. Witty, insightful and very family men leh.

In presence of such high profile bloggers, i suddenly find myself small and much in awe. Not everyone can be a blogger. Sure, you can be someone who simply blogs.
But a blogger is revered as a celebrated cyber trend setter, a career.
The whole high from meeting the Prince of Blogosphere has jump-start the stagnant, (dare i write this?) blogger in me.

Keep watching this space.

Fri
21
Apr '06

If there is only time to watch one movie this year…..

this is it.

Best Short Clip of the Year

 

Anyway…..

do not watch ultraviolet.

i repeat.

 

 

dont say i didnt warn you.

 

sorry for the lack of updates…absolutely zilch motivation.

no inspiration.

but i’ll tell abit of stories here and finish it up with a series of PHOTOS!!!

 

==============================================================

Scene: Nissan Sunny along paya lebar         Time: 230pm        Mood: Panic

I’ve started driving lessons. Yes. i finally passed the advanced theory after 6 tries.

I failed first in 99, passed the second time around and its validity lasped in 01. Tried again once in 03, once in 04, twice in 05 and passed in 06.
People like me should never be allowed on the roads. Then again, there are always loopholes in policies.

 

Instructor: oKay ah…half cluck half cluck. OEI HALF CLUCK LAH.

(note: driving instructors speak like that coz Shu’s instructor also says half cluck.)

Instructor: ah up ahead junction, keep left, turn left ah.

Not taking my eyes off the roads i nodded and proceeded to flick the signal lights downwards.

*tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock right signal light blinks*

I kept to my lane and when reaching the junction, i started to turn my wheel to the right.

Instructor (panics): OEI TURN LEFT TURN LEFT!

Mia (shocked by the sudden outburst, steps on the clutch thinking it’s the brakes, causing the car to FREE WHEELY): YA i know! i am TURNING LEFT!!

Yes i know…woman driver. I cannot distinguish left and right. I have problem gauging distance, especially in rear view mirrors.

It’s ok…after i pass the driving test, i’ll just drive with the L plate permanently hung on my car so everyone will give way to me.

 

==============================================================

 

Scene: DXO                 Time: 950am Wed           Mood:  Bored

Was at DXO watching the Miss Tourism World Singapore semi finals with Playmate.
There was a table of 5 hunks sitting right in front of the stage, presumably to oogle at the girls in bikinis on parade.

Playmate left to answer a phonecall and i spied Brian and Robert entering the club, my minders for Miss World Singapore pageant last year.

HEY HEY!! HOW ARE YOU! *muaks muaks* *hugs hugs* I”VE BEEN GOOD AND YOU? *hugs hugs muaks muaks giggles*

The table of 5 hunks turned at the commotion and stood up and walked over!

Turned out they were from Manhunt Singapore (also handled by Brian and Robert) so there i was, surrounded by 7 men, all while Playmate was away.
*evil cackle*
The pageant starts proper and there was the Q&A session.

emcee: Why would you recommend Singapore to your overseas friends?

contestant #472 (who is a PRC but is a PR here answered in mandarin): Because Singapore is multi racial and is very safe. there are alot of cross cultural spots here and we have a fantastic night life. I would bring them to the newly opened international club MOS!

emcee: thank you and good luck!

No one appluaded.

Girl. Your pageant is held at DXO. You don’t mention MOS.

The next contestant went on to gush about how wonderful DXO is, big spacious, near 6 star hotels, easy to get around, so much that it sounded too patronising.

Then contestant #472 ran up on stage again. “Sorry i would like to add that DXO is also a good place for partying, now that i’m here myself i think it’s very good!”

Girl. You either stick to your guns or forever hold your peace. Running up on stage for a second time to clarify your previous mistake is just highlighting it more.

emcee: What local food would you recommend?

Contestant # 748: Definitely the Char Kway Teow, because it is very delicious and it has alot of cockles.

emcee (obviously trying to help): And what makes it so delicious? Any other ingredients?

Contestant #748 : Oh it has noodles fried in a sweet black sauce, with eggs and sausages and cockles.

 

*sigh*

Are these the girls we might be sending for international pageants?
And for the last round of parade when everyone was invited on stage, the PRC girl didn’t come up from backstage and that shows a lack of grace.

When you say something wrong, step down gracefully.

I can’t wait to see who wins.

==============================================================

 

PICTURE TIME!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fri
10
Mar '06

How to get anyone to say yes

Today, Gene very proudly showed me a book he borrowed.

Hard binded, the letterings read,

The Science of Influence:
“HOW TO MAKE ANYONE SAY YES IN 8 MINUTES OR LESS”
by Kevin Hogan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I casually flipped to a page, there were lots of words, some diagrams, flowcharts.

*thup*  i closed the book nonchalently.

Obviously, the book is written by a man. It was about 200 pages thick, with lots of descriptions of what to do and say in situations.

Unknown to this man however, is that women already know the secret of how to make anyone say yes, in 8 SECONDS or less.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is only ONE page in the entire book. And on that one page, there is only ONE line.

 

DROP YOUR CLOTHES.

'

I kenah langah

Wednesday turned out to be bad during the day but fantastic during the night.
A CAR REVERSED INTO ME.

yup.

like a true stunt performer, i fell onto the boot of the car.
WHAM.
Curled my body up and did a quick roll off the red paint and landed on my feet, crouching position.
Siao ah. Think i Selene or Trinity ah?
Scene: Outside my house, Teck Kee Pau shop        Time: 230pm          Mood: Rushed
I was flagging a cab frantically, looking left and right on both sides of the road.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, i was swept off my feet and i landed wham on the boot of a red car.

My immediate instinct was “Jia lat, must be when i flagging cabs, i’ve been walking backwards and i bumped into the parked car.”
I looked down at the back lights and i saw the WHITE REVERSE LIGHTS WAS ON!

blardee hell! The car reversed into me!

I hitched up my skirt, spunned around on my heels and went to the driver’s window
*TAP TAP TAP*

*window gets wound down*
HOEI! Do you know you just REVERSED your car INTO ME?!”

Gone was the sweet Miss Tourism Miss Globe world peace sweet sprouting Mia.
Sorry sorry ahh…”
SORRY?!!! HARLOW you got LOOK in your mirror not? Got check blind spot not before moving off?!”

 

Ya got see got see. Sorry sorry.”
“I so tall, so BIG, you also cannot see meh! NEXT time be careful ah!!”
So SFN 1868 L got away with a scolding and i escaped unharmed except for a story to tell and an aching hip.

My mom went to buy 4D, but never tio. Why? Coz came out 1688 instead.

sigh.

 
Met up with some friends at night, over at Club Street Bar, Rochester and MOS.

Laugh all you want, but for this swah koo here, it is my first time to Rochester park and MOS.

I feel embarassed to even admit it. But hey, i get VIP entry at MOS. heh heh.

Even though it is a humongosaurus place, it is jammed packed with people.
A fight broke out in the smoove room and we got shoved around so headed back to the sky lounge to sit, chill and watch the crowd shaking their butts off below in the main retro arena. Loved the retro list they were playing!!

There was a lady in our group and she’s a PLASTIC SURGEON! I squeezed the opportunity to get professional consultation without the rocket high fees!

“Bigger eyes, sharper nose, straighter teeth.” i asked of her, almost like she’s a fairy godmother, granting me 3 wishes.

And wisely, like a fairy godmother, she replied, “You are beautiful as you are. In fact, i noticed, if you tie your hair back, i find a little Gong Li in you.”

 

Got home almost 3 and hardly slept then had to zip off early for teaching.

But that’s alright. I’ll sleep when i’m dead.

Tue
7
Mar '06

Watched Underworld :: evolution last night. Was a little worried that it would disappoint like the first but IT”S SO DARN GOOD!

 

No spoilers but here’s a clip that oughta be the trailer for the movie. Definite hit with me.
It was totally random out of nowhere but i guess, the director HAD to pave the way for underworld3 and this is the best way out, vampire lycan prodigy.

 

She is SO HOT.    bite me, thrill me, bleed me dry.

 

 

 

 

 

Sat
4
Mar '06

of men, of late

I don’t know how i’ve developed this bad habit of not calling people by names but by descriptive words such as “Gorgeous, Cutey, HunkyDory” etc.

Terrible ah. They all think i flirt with them leh.

 

Scene: Car Interior     Location: River Valley      Time: 9ishpm       Mood: Party

Swinging by to pick up a guy friend of mine. He’s pretty gorgeous by normal standards. And he’s not gay! Imagine that.

When he got into the car, i greeted him, “Hello GORGEOUS!”

And he said, “Well, hello. I thought that was YOUR name, gorgeous.”

 

awwwww. FLIRT!!

*smacks herself*

 

 

But i must say, i did enjoy my wednesday night out at indochine. Had drinks with an acquaintance, whom i now intend to keep as a friend.

It is very rare that i enjoy a night out with someone i hardly knew (plus he’s an ANGMOH!) and hold a conversation about love, life, family, work, dreams, plans, travels and friends.

There was no need to impress, no need to contrive.

I like it when people have no agenda.

Sat
25
Feb '06

3 guys, 2 girls and a gay

aiya enough lah.
who’s pretty who’s not, does it really matter?

get your priorities right people.
the prettiest, the sexiest IS KENNY SIA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so shuddup lah. He’s deluded into thinking i’m some goddess. Stop convincing him otherwise by your comments.

 

anyway, alot happened in the past week.

On wednesday, Gene and I hosted the T3 magazine launch at Zouk for our good pals over at Playworks Pte Ltd and WAAAAH we had a BLAST!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A long forgotten aquaintance Brian, came up and spoke with me, remembering me from a Discovery Channel audition 2 years ago.
He was gushing with compliments about my hosting and really, i felt a little overwhelmed and paiseh by the attention.

Later on i heard he bumped into Eugene, congratulated him on setting up his events company and saying that he should focus more on the business side as i should front the hosting side.

*oops* Gene is the experienced one, man. I just karong kabook.

 

After the event we headed over the Song’s.
*insert advertisement* Catch Dr. Song of love in the new reality dating show, produced and directed by long time classmate of mine, A LIGHT AFFAIR, now on Ch 5, every Wednesday 10pm.

 

And we watched a clip over at his place. Yes. THE CLIP.
The computer-monitor smashing, most sought-out clip released over the internet last week, with its sequel rumoured to be out, starring an unknown star student from Singapore!

 

This was how the conversation went inside the room, where we all cramped up together and jostled to get a piece of the action, not wanting to miss a singe pixel.
Girl 1: EHHhhhhhhh u got the clip ahhh. LET’S WATCH!!

Guys (chorus): WAAAAAAH good things must share!!!
*clip starts*

 
All the guys gasp in unison.

Presumbly at the girl’s skills.

All the girls gasp in unison.

Presumbly at the boy’s size.

 

 

About 20 seconds into the clip, bored of the same action, Guy 2 said “Eh fast forward to the middle leh.”
So the clip FF to about 4 minutes or so.
After another 50 seconds, bored of the same position, Guy 3 said “Eh can we get to the end now?”
Girl 2: “HOEI what’s wrong with you guys!! Why must always rush through one!!!!”
Gay: “Erm….this is quite disgusting. Why isn’t he using a condom?”
All the straight people in the room looked at him.
Guy 1: “It’s ok what.”

Gay: “No it’s NOT okay lor. I dont know how things work in the straight world, but in our world, condoms are a MUST lor. I mean harlow. Basic safety can!”

 

Yes people.

Always practise SAFE SEX.

 

Protect yourself from unwanted attention.
Never agree to having SEX being filmed on your handphone/camera.

Oh and i forgot.
Protect yourself from unwanted disease and pregnancy.
Always use a condom.

 

Safe Sex. Don’t be Sorry. Like Tammy.

Wed
15
Feb '06

love is in the air

this coming valentine’s day has CLOGGED UP my mailbox. Even the main inbox.

The junk mails of “Send your valentine a 100 roses today!”      “Save up to 40% when you purchase a Valentine bear with us!”        “Can’t perform when you need to? Use penovile cream and make her happy this Valentines!”       obviously went into the bulk folder.

My inbox is filled with friendster notices. “Someone has sent you a valentine! Find out WHO!”
And everytime i check, i get disappointed.

That is, until today.

This was an MSN message that happened between me and kenny right after he wrote on his blog about the girls he would date based on their online personalities. Pity i wasn’t on the list, but i wouldn’t want XX’s claws on me after that Sunday Times article and stealing her blogger friends.
To have him say that was like having Tony Leung watch my 10second TVC.

And then…..today….out of the hundreds of friendster valentine emails…… i got this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awwww. he loves me afterall.

Fri
10
Feb '06

shost from last sunday’s shoot

Sunday we did a shoot to kinda update my folio.

here’s some shots.

sorry i aint too chatty these days.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wed
1
Feb '06

Flushing money down the toilet

This was what transpired over my regular IRC chat session.

i will pay you cash 1K

no *** and no touching
siao.

I need you to be fully dressed and standig over me i need you to pee on my face and wactch me masterbated until i come
wat if I cant pee for so long?

we do it in a hotel

call me

9693****
Now everytime i go pee, i feel like i’m losing one thousand dollars. That gives real meaning to throwing money down the toilet.

Mon
2
Jan '06

Happeee new yeaaar!! The final installment of China Pageant!

Ok here’s some more pix…im a little lost…. too much partying and oversleeping is putting me into slow mo.

HAPPEEEEE NEWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAR!!!! and i hit the 7000 viewership mark for my blog in the new year!!

funny but this year doesn’t give me good vibes.

somethings gotta change. first of all, that’ll be me.

Went to Chairman Mao’s house, had a drink with him and chatted for about an hour. Friendly chap of few words, i was the one doing most of the talking and translating, oooh-ing and aaaah-ing at the exihibts.

Tried to drive the girls off in the buggie even though i didn’t have a license. but who cares?! it’s in China!

My favorite girls. I dont know why but the moment i saw them i just LOVE THEM.


Over at the SeaWorld in Wuhan. Somewhat like our Underwater world in Sentosa, they also have the tunnel that brings you around the depths of the sea and animal shows with sealions and seals.


We had to do alot of autographs everywhere we go!

Niao Yu Lin, it’s an open air bird park. A little like Singapore’s.

Now heading over to HuBei TV station!!!


And now reporting news live to you from HuBei TV station, i am your newscaster from Singapore.

The palace in Beijing

And of course i can’t leave without saying bye to the guy who’s everywhere in China…

Wed
14
Dec '05

China trip trilogy

After a super late night taking official photos, we woke super early for a press conference.

This was the dress i wore for the press. I like it alot!

Here’s datuk danny ooi, he’s the main guy behind this pageant.

Ok the next day.

I lost track liao lah.
We had rehearsal for the first time, coz Rafal finally arrived in Wuhan from another pageant.

So we had to bring our national costumes AGAIN, coz Rafal has to see us in them in order to co-ordinate us and divide the groups into “Can dance with costume & Cannot move at all with costume”

Fooling around before rehearsal.

L-R gorgeous ukraine behind, paraguay, s.africa, bolivia, mexico, spain, georgia, brazil on the lap.

Oei, tired of typing all the countries names, you read yourself lah.

In costume glamour.

L-R Macau, S.Africa, Cambodia, Hongkong, Korea, Ukraine, Kazakstan, Cyprus, Malaysia, Russia and Ethopia

whoever took this shot for me had shaky hands, blardee hell.

Miss Georgia with her BIG HAIR

Back at the restuarant where we had dinner for 5 days straight. The waitress is specially attached to me i don’t know why.

(L-R Portugal same birthday as me, Lithuania, Bosnia who’s middle name is Mia, and canada who reminds me of celine dion)

This dish made all the girls squeal and squirm. Turtles in sauce, not in sea.

'

China Trip Sequel

(paiseh…this part two comes so much later after part 1 on 2nd dec…if u missed it, just check on the calender lah… eh if LOTR and Kill Bill can take one year apart to release, i also can take 1 week ok.)

Early morning, we departed to see the GREAT WALL of china. After a super long 2.5 hour bus ride, we finally arrived at BA DA LING.

Tian Xia Di Yi Xiong Guan
The most majestic gantry on earth. or something.

We hardly spent 30 minutes walking the wall coz there were soooo many tourists and people who wanted to take photos with us, on top of having to sign a huge banner.

This guy is Mr Tong. He has escorted alot of famous people, like Presidents of USA, ministers, celebrities etc and explained to them the history of the Great Wall.

And this is my FAVORITE PICTURE from the WHOLE TRIP.

Now if only i can photoshop away that boy in the background.

See, there are so many people in China, it is impossible to take a shot without people in it.

Everyone pose with our banner!

Then back to the hotel to rest and pack our bags and prepare for the train ride.

My favorite girl, Judy from S.Africa

Last year’s winner, Anush from armenia.
She looks hellalot like angelina jolie don’t she?

Kazakhstan and Krgystan.
Onwards to the train station at night, 9pm ride overnight from Beijing to Wuhan.

The girls i bunk with. Miss Taiwan on the upper deck, Miss Korea in pink and Miss Malaysia in black. (taiwan won, korea and malaysia got into top 12. so sad, i’m the only one who didn’t make it anywhere!)

SEE THE SNACKS!!!!

End of day 3

Arrived in Wuhan train station at 7am. Lots of people, press, cameras, flowers etcetc. Too early to be bothered lah.

10 hour train ride and expect us to smile?!

(back:L-R Krgystan, Venezula, Czech, Armenia, Cyprus. front L-R: Korea, Malaysia, Lithuania, Bosnia, me)

In the hotel’s conference room. Everyone is finally gathered together and meets for the first time. All 41 of us.

At this point of time, i’m like, jia lat. How do i remember 40 names?!!

By the time i returned to Singapore, i only remembered their names and not their countries.

This was a free day, and we all had a good rest, some girls went out to get snacks, i had a great hair wash at the salon.

End of Day 4.

Day 5 started with a visit to a museum that was just across the road from our hotel. I was pretty excited and i wanted to grab our tour translators to bring me there yesterday but luckily it was part of the arrangement to take us today.

IT”S A TOMB. omg. Photos weren’t allowed in the museum but of course, we are TOURISM DELEGATES, we can blardee do whatever we want.

For me, i usually don’t like to photograph in museums, coz i PangTang lah. Museums, are usually, either sacred or the exact opposite. But i couldn’t resist one picture.

THESE BELLS ARE HUGE!! And this is only 3/4 of the entire display. These are musical instruments in the olden days and we were given a demostration of similar instruments.
Then it was lunch.

(L-R) very pretty philippines, me, krgystan, puerto rico, USA, Venezula, Mexico, Brazil


And we had 10 dishes every meal. breakfast lunch dinner.
During meal times, you’ll often hear the chant, “Miss Singapore MiSS SINGAPORE!!”

The girls kept calling me to explain to them what each dish consists of and i have to eat each dish before they would touch it. I think it’s a conspiracy to get me fat.

Then it was rest time, and dinner.

(back L-R Hongkong, Bosnia, korea, philippines, taiwan, me. Seated L-R: ethopia, bulgaria, fav girl Australia, cambodia)

We were all enjoying our dinner, until one drunkard guy ran up the stage and started doing KungFu stunts. The girls were all enjoying it cause China mah, must see kungfu. They all thought it was a scheduled program until the guy started shouting and the security had to subdue him.

And then everyone rush to change into their national costume back at the hotel to take photos for the pageant booklet.

I had to do my own hair and makeup ok!! Wah lau. Didn’t manage to take alot of pictures cause we were going in batches and my batch not many people lah.

On the night of the pageant, Miss Paraguay won Best National Costume.

Not hard to see why.

I haven’t changed into my cheongsam yet. Here’s Krgystan and 3rd place winner, Czech.

Fri
9
Dec '05

newsflash

We interrupt your daily reading to bring you a newsflash.

In the early hours of the morning today, at 2am, a Toyota Altis was involved in an accident with a taxi. The crash happened along Killiney Road, right outside Mitre Hotel.

Driver of the car, Mr Eugene Tay said, “I was indicating left to turn into Mitre Hotel, then the taxi came from the left, behind me and rammed into my front passenger door.”

The passenger door was damaged and couldn’t be closed. (beng kohk liao)

The taxi driver gave his side of the story, I saw him indicate right and i thought he was turning into the SPC petrol station, that’s why i tried to overtake him on the left.

Just who saw what? We asked an eyewitness who was staying at Killiney Apartments and she told us she saw the crash happen with her son.

There were broken headlight glass scattered on the road and long, dark skid marks leading from the nearby NTUC to the entrance of Mitre Hotel where the accident occured.

Your kaypoh reporter, Mia Tan, reporting live after returning from scene of crime.

 

Eh very cool leh u know. When i rushed to the scene, the police was already there. Got red blue lights flash flash flash.

“Is anyone injured?”    No.   “Is there any damage to government property?”    No.

Alright, there’s nothing we can do now. This is not a major accident so it is to be settled personally with the drivers and insurance company.”

Then the ambulance arrived.  *weeee ooooooh weeeeee ooooohh weeeeee ooooooohh weeeeeeep weep weep*

“Anybody injured?” the oh so cute paramedics rushed down like a knight in shining armour.
*mia quickly lies on the floor and begins flaring her arms around*
“No, no one’s injured.” replied the crisp policeman.   (crisp coz he looks yummy like crispy potato chips)

“Ok, good night.”
And then we had our first taste of presidency. The police car ESCORTED Gene’s Altis as he drove back to my place!
Ok lah, short distance but still! Cheap thrill.

Gene’s gone to see his precious car at the mechanic today.

 

Stay tuned for more updates.

'

There’s no absolute

Couple nights ago, over dinner, someone threw a coffee table book on the table of course, (coffee TABLE book what) and said “this is trash. absolute trash. Whaddya think of this, mia?”

huh who me? erm.

I was franctically looking around for the waiter. Where’s my creme brulee?!! Commenting on the book was the last thing on my mind, cutting it close to “what i should buy at the Loreal sale at Expo over the weekend” which is secondary to the dessert.

Why ask me? We just met an hour ago.

Maybe he wanted an honest answer. Or a polite one.

While i struggled to come up with an honest and politically correct answer (usually these two don’t hold hands and go strolling in the park), the waiter was nowhere in sight.

Well…….” i began, trying to buy time and hope that they’ll soon forget i am supposed to come up with some intelligent answer.

I think there are some good shots in here.”

“No c’mon. The truth! This is trash!”

Well….not all shots are nice but some are ok.”

“What? Are you sure? Be honest. You have to be honest with yourself! Tell me which one is good. Tell me.”

I pointed to one of the best choreographed shot. There.

“nooo nooo nooo noooo” came the chorus from BEP, followed by vigorous head shaking.

 

I don’t believe in absolute. There’s no absolute good nor bad, right or wrong. There’s always something to learn from everything and nothing can be denied.

A lousy script, is like a handicapped man. As long as the man has a healthy outlook on life, is determined to live on and with help or support, can survive.

Likewise, a trashy script can be salvaged by a brilliant director, exquisite acting, apt sound effects.

A horrible melody, salvaged by a strong voice, beautiful lyrics and a good mixer.


I think it’s at least something to build on. It may not be great, but the next one will be better.” I said, honest and correct.

phew.

 

Mon
5
Dec '05

To hang or not to hang

To be hung. It has already happened.

Sorry this entry came so late. Shu, in australia, have been upadting me with the media hoohaa downunder.

So he has a sad story to tell.

Who doesn’t.

Singapore is a safe and clean country. Clean of drugs, firearms, grafitti and even chewing gum.
How does that equate to a seaport of barbaric Chinese rogues?

By pardoning a drug courier, ignoring and disrespecting another country’s law, having the homeland to rally behind his sentence, sounding church bells to commemorate him, like a national hero, makes one less barbaric it seems.

Fri
2
Dec '05

Trip of China

please forgive me.

i haven’t blogged in a million years. I’m getting complaints!!

Jo, as usual, is having withdrawal symptoms coz i haven’t been writing.
Shu, is bugging me to write coz she wants to know what’s happening on this end of the world.
My cousin called me today out of the blue to tell me to blog coz she’s been reading nothing new.
Alritey, i’ve got so much to say but i don’t know where to start!

Oh the Catholic High dinner and dance that Gene hosted, (I was Vanna White), oh my gosh.

Boys prom nights are just SOOO DIFFERENT from girls’ prom night. Some came in Tshirt!!!!! They all need a David Gan.

And i was on stage to tease the boys as to their “pick-up” lines and Clarence, (refer MMS pic) said “If i weren’t gay, you’ll be my choice.”

In front of two tables of principals and teachers.

Right.

Did i also mention one boy came in a dress and stockings?
Okies, enough about that. FOTOS!!
(for the geographically challenged, please proceed with google maps as there will be many references to various countries)

I touched down in Beijing in the early morning. Beautiful. And awfully cold.

After an hour’s wait at the airport for Miss Malaysia, who didn’t board her flight in the end, we travelled another hour to the hotel resort with Miss Estonia.

This resort is on the outskirts of Beijing, used as a holiday getaway. There are no tall buildings and on the drive in, we are flanked by fields and fields of corn.

This was my first meal. I was amazed. more than 10 dishes. Woah.

I was happy to see ducks. Siao ah. Botanical gardens also have what.

Miss Cambodia, who later became really attached to me.

End of Day1 rest day.

(L-R: back: macau, canada, estonia, australia. front: russia, philippines, georgia, ethopia, korea, me and cambodia)

Early morning, we had to come down with our national costumes for some photo taking.

Then it’s time for SIGHTSEEEEING!!

First stop, Beijing underground city.

Built for nuclear attacks, it was extremely hush hush so i couldn’t take pictures inside. It was very deep, very cold.
At their souvenir section, they have silk pulling demostration.

Four women hold each corner of a piece of silk and pull together to make it a thin spread for the bed linen.

Then on the way back to the bus, i took some common street sights.

Then it was off to lucky tower! It is so called lucky tower because the corner is in the south east and during the olden times, it is considered the victory gate where warriors will ride through.

At the foot of the tower.

There, behind us, where the two walls meet, is where we relak one corner.

Took a nice shot of the train coming in from the top of the tower. The tracks are just next to it.

Off to a teahouse! Just like beer is water in Germany, tea is water here.

Wed
9
Nov '05

Press Release

I’m back home people! This is about the only press video i could find that has me in it. All thanks to the reporter Jiang Lei who was really sweet to me and always sought me out for interviews and translation.

I of course dragged my favorite gal in this contest, Judy from S.Africa to do the interview too!

I think the streaming is gonna be slow. Be patient people!

Good things are worth waiting for.

 

 

Sat
22
Oct '05

News from Miss Tourism Queen of the Year China

It’s been a hectic time so far, up and down buses.

First day I arrived and met Etsonia at the airport. Lunch was an elaborate spread, appx 10 dishes with Ms Cambodia and the crew at the Chinese Resort we stayed, 300 Miles, where they plant their own crops for food.

What i didnt realise was that the meals everyday were going to be all FEASTING!
After resting, our 2nd day, we went to an Underground City which was built for housing civilians in case of war/nuclear attack. It was pretty claustrophobic.

Then we proceeded to Dr. Tea, the biggest teahouse in beijiong and tried the different expensive teas!!

 

The 3rd day we went to the GREAT WALL of CHINA which was 2 hour jam-on-the-road-with-a-lot-of-horning ride!

We didnt even get to spend more than 40 minutes there because we were late for the next destination.

Good thing was, we managed to get a good foot massage in the afternoon.
We had a farewell dinner and then it was on to the bunker train to WUHAN!

We boarded at 9pm and arrived around 7am. Had a pretty good sleep, bunking in with KOrea, Malaysia and taiwan.

We just arrived at Wuhan which is EQUALLY COLD as beijing even though it’s down south. It’s a full rest day and a welcome dinner tonight. The girls are hoping tomorrow’s a shopping day.

Till the next MMS, this is mia signing off at the RMB18/hr internet business centre at the hotel.

 

love,mia

Sun
16
Oct '05

bittersweet

Life is a little bittersweet for me.

Kinda like my favorite chips, the Belinjo nuts, salty and sweet with a tantalizing bitter taste.

Life after the pageant has been hectic. Fitting of gowns, getting visa, collecting air tickets…

Given only 2 weeks of notice to prepare for my trip to China, i was a wreck.

I’ve only been to HongKong and Shenzhen! I don’t even qualify for a visa!

But this time round, i’m going for 3 weeks, to Beijing, WuHan, ChangSha, to participate in Miss Tourism Queen of the Year.

ooh.

Running around getting my gowns and national costumes, trying to borrow some decent cocktail dresses from designers and making the mistake of going to the China Embassy on Monday, the very first opening day after their Golden Week holiday.

I had a number tag of 758, and they were just attending to 480.

Believe me, it was packed. With mostly Chinese and the odd AngMoh or Indian.

I asked philip (dude) and yoke ching (lagoon) if i could have a phone to take with me to china so i can 3G and moblog the international pageant for you guys, well, despite Singtel being such a big badaboom, they don’t have a spare phone and i wasn’t granted the backup i needed.
Oh well. Shawn was right.

Being one of MoBlog’s oldest active blogger (and farahrri!), I’ll have to disappoint the MB community (lack of updates for the next 3 weeks!) cause I was let down by MB itself.
*shruggs*

Anyway, why life is bittersweet. Because, when things don’t come, they don’t come at all.
When they do, they come all together.

SuperHost
Arrived at Mediacorp at 1130am. Then at 12, they announced it was lunch break. Called Edwin to let me in to the canteen so i changed my i/c at the reception.

1pm lunch break was over, we were sent to a studio to register. I was supposed to be 3311, but i had to go back to reception to get my i/c! so I ended up 3327.
I slumped in a chair at the back row and tried to sleep despite the bright studio lights.

Then i felt shadows being cast on me. I opened my eyes and had a mike thrust in my face.

You sleeping means you are very confident of the audition right?”

Er no…i’m just very tired.

“Do you have any secret to prepare yourself for this contest?”

Er no..i just take it as it comes.

“So what motivates you to join this?”

Coz i like 徐乃鳞 and he’s going to be coaching the people so i really want to learn from him.

Waited and chatted with two girls…..saw a guy with W magazine and he must have seen me staring at the book, he offered me a read and the start of a friendship.

Klintonn is a freelance designer who just returned from taiwan!

And while waiting, they played a marathon hosting game. So this guy in a cap was called to go up. As he ran past me in the aisle, he waved at me.

Damn, he looked familiar. Where did i see him?

Then it struck.

MY SUPER CUTE MAKEUP ARTIST AT MEDIACORP”S MAKEUP UNIT!!!

HE”S HERE!!!!!!

Ok, don’t ask me why but i have a thing for skinny guys in specs.

That made me sit up.

And i hung onto every single word he said.
Boy, did he talk. Having met him 3 times at the makeup unit, we never spoke more than 3 lines, and here he was on stage, talking like a veteran host.

For the first time, i got his name. Bryan. Aww.
And when he got off stage, i went to talk with him. Apparently he’s a part-timer so he’s still allowed to join. Amidst our banter, i heard my name.

“Mia come on stage leh. Mia come host with me.”

Then i saw Richel on stage!!

Saboh.

So i had to go up and banter with him, make some jokes, entertain the crowd of auditionees and then i was back to more waiting….and waiting…….

And waiting……..

*insert images of spiderwebs, dust, cracked furniture*

And then at 6pm! We had a break for dinner.

Told to come back at 645pm.

And i’ll be the first group to go after our meal.

*fast foward mia tucking into super oily fried chicken wing*

With an oily mouth and all, we were quickly ushered into the audition room and i’m FIRST TO GO.

Ok now panic starts to set in.
I learnt that my group is getting judged by Bryan Wong, whom i heard is very strict and very cynical towards the contestants. And most of the selected actually came from Kym Ng’s group, who is definitely more lenient.

So jittery i went in.
There he was, seated, flanked by two female colleagues. And then there was the cameramen, sound men, this that who what in the room.
Walk to the T, introduced myself and launched into my presentation.

(note: all these were done in mandarin but translated to English for easy reading and blogging.)


After saying my name, i said I’m a model and i don’t have alot of talents so therefore i’m just goin to do a brief intro on catwalking.
YA RIGHT.
“Artistes must have poise, and catwalk is very important because even on 吴宗宪 Jacky Wu’s hosting show, he will always ‘comerr someeer meeew sic’ and ask the girls to do a walk.”
I thought i heard them snigger.
Recalling what Sara told me 3 weeks ago, i said “Upperbody, you must be like a puppet.”
*insert mia doing some Michael Jackson Puppetry dance move*
“Imagine someone pulling you on a string and making you stand up tall and strong. That way you look taller and SKINNIER, which is very important.

Then you have to push your shoulders back because they want to see the arch of your back. Hold your head high but not proud.”
“Then the lower body, you imagine a straight line in front of you and you can either walk the line or cross walk the line. But the most important thing lies here.”

*mia points to her hip bones*
“Do you know what these two are?” i asked around the room.
Everyone waited with bated breath for the secret.
“They are the HIP BONES!” i exclaimed, coupling the “hip” with the hand action that P. Daddy likes to do. those bling bling hiphop hand gesture peace sign.
Bryan then turned to one of the girls and said “waaah i didn’t know that’s the hip bones leh!”
They laughed and laughed.

So then i continued and said, “Know why they are called HIP BONES?” *hiphop hand sign*

Coz they are HIP!!
I thought i saw him roll his eyes.
“And this hip bones will 带动亚洲流行” because you need it to guide you forward to give you that sexy catwalk sway.”
Then bryan say “Next time Channel U = HIP BONES”
They laughed laughed.
And came judgement time.
Bryan: Your topic is very refreshing. I’ve been here all day and your topic is different and entertaining.

Lady on his right: Confident and 台风很稳

Lady on his left : I think you are more suited for MTV leh.

Mia: huh really? Coz i can 自导自演 right?

They laughed and nodded in agreement.

Lady on his left: Did you learn makeup?

Mia: no not really, just steal lessons from makeup artists during shows.”

Bryan: yup coz you have single eyelids so you need to learn to brighten up your features. Coz now you look very grimey and your sweater color don’t suit your tan.

Mia: okies i will learn! I brought sweater coz 8 hours of waiting in the studio is very cold.

Bryan: Ok you’ve passed!

*hits buzzer and green light*
YAY!!! I went over to collect my “pass card” from him and he said i should be very happy coz less than 10 cards have been given out today.

After that i had another interview about my feelings etcetc but it’s a little bittersweet cause i won’t be in singapore for Round 2…… =(
I’m glad that at least, i made an impression and they were slightly entertained through the day of bad jokes and auditionees.

Till next time, this is all the reading material you are gonna get.

Jo: If you’ve read this, wait till you meet me later in the evening then i can do the actions for you. I heard a very good joke, i wanna show you!

Mon
5
Sep '05

Bintan!

We had a FREE 2D1N trip to bintan, courtesy of Nirwana Resorts, Singtel and ContentCraft.

We got on a boat from Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal and took a 55min boat ride to Bintan and we had a PRIVATE BUS PICK US UP!

HECK, we were even welcomed in boyband style with placards.

Except that we were all known as THE PARTY.

We’ve arrived!

At one of the best rooms in the hotel, we took shost at the balcony..which overlooks the SEA!

One of the games we play…

Don’t MESS with me or i’ll blow your balls out!

We shoot, chee koon also shoot. But he shoot film.

<>
Sara trying to look ferocious with the bow.And presenting, Dino, the not so friendly iguana who stays at the resort. Try finding him in the pic below.

One other thing i LOVE about Nirwana Resorts…THEIR MASSAGE…ASMARA SPA…awwww…sorry i don’t have pictures to show (coz we were in various stages of being undressed)

And the DESSERT SPREAD.

Mee Soto prepared by Gene and the chef.

And…..presenting…Sara, Chee Koon and my personal FAVORITE……

Tue
9
Aug '05

Last 2 days in Hong Kong

One thing i’ve learnt: there’s always time for dessert, dogs and beggars.

Ok vainpot again. still trying out my new palette. abit of brown on the lids with slight greenish yellow to go with my top. abit ghastly hor. eee. dont like.

ANYWAY, some more castings today and i met Mich again for lcasting, lunch and MORE SHOPPING. Her driver came to pick me and drove us all around town.

Lunch was at Central. This FAMOUS restaurant for its goose.

So obviously everything was goose related, right down to its chopsticks holder.

In fact, it is so good, the first 3 pages of the menu lists the awards it has won.

So obviously we ordered goose. And century egg congee. and fried milk with egg. and some veg. for TWO people.

I shocked the chefs in the kitchen.

Must take foto must take foto. She is so darn pretty!!!!!

After lunch we went shopping at Causeway Bay where she bought a very vintage looking belt for HKD1500. That’s almost SGD300 for a belt.

*mia faints*

I bought my beloved shoes.

And she brought me to Jardine Crescent where they sell JEANS and pants for ONLY HKD100 A PIECE! They even alter it for you on the spot!!!!!!!! FREE!!!

Then after that she left to find her boyfriend and i went back to Mongkok for some last minute shopping.

I had to buy this dustbin that we saw. It was very cute and had funky designs on it. So i went to scour Ladies Market for that same shop.

And i passed by the CLOCK shop. I liked their clocks. I was tempted to buy one. I only had HKD250 left. That’s not alot. I have to take MTR and train to airport.

Susan, the owner, gave me a good price i couldn’t refuse. 90HKD for a clock. I handed her one of my two last 100 dollar bill. Told her to hold on to it and i’ll come back to choose the clock i wanted because i have to first find my dustbin stall.

Don’t ask me why i did that. I realised how crazily stupid that was, leaving money with the stall holder, with no receipt or goods but only trust.

I walked up and down the street twice before i finally found the shop. It was selling at HKD96. I told him i’ll give him 50 for it. He said no, 90. I said no, 50. Max 55. He said no, 90.

60?

No.

Never refuse me a good bargain.

I walked away.

I passed by a beggar on the street, he had no limbs. I felt bad having walked past him twice in search of my bin shop but i couldn’t part with my precious money coz i have so little left!

Now that the stupid fella won’t sell me the bin, i tossed my coins for him.

I went back to the clock shop and got my Treble Clef in red.

Sat and chat with Susan and some other customers. One from S Africa and the other from UK. Both work for Levis Strauss.

She was trying to get her hair braided.

Had an extremely fulfilling time with these strangers of the world.

And then it was time to take my final MTR ride for the road.

Hong Kong in my hands.

Where there are more taxis than cars.

Met this old english sheepdog on my last escalator ride up.
Oscar.

End of day 7.

DAY 8 is very short. A trip to the airport in Mich’s bentley.

Her driver came to pick me from my cousin’s place.

And we drove past this magnificent bridge.

QING MA da qiao. Green Horse Bridge?

At the airport.

Good bye Hong Kong!!

And this is what Geography textbooks have been trying to tell you. Meandering rivers that will form ox bow lakes.

And finally….the sight of home.

WELCOME HOME SINGAPOREANS!!

'

sleepless in hong kong day 6

VAIN POT! trying out my new makeup palette. some greenish blue eyeshadow to go w my top.

Went for a round of castings. Today i walked like hell.

From the top of the escalator i walked to Lyndhurst terace then to Wynham street, then to Queen’s Central which took me all the way to Sheung Wan.

If you are good with HK maps, you prolly know wat i meant.

Anyway first thing in the morning i saw the papers.

A very famous road side stall closed. The chef looks very familiar and i suspected it was the same stall we passed by couple of days ago and said we’ll go eat there the next time.

And i was right. I walked by and it’s indeed closed. Right next to the dessert store where we sat.

So i ate noodles somewhere else.

Thankfully, i met Lily. She’s from Seattle. She studied Biology too but is now practising law. Is it just me or does Biology make people wanna change trades?
She helped me order my food and we chatted throughout. I’m supposed to email her this picture but i abit paiseh coz it’s blur.

And then i walked somemore.

Came to a wet market.

And some Shenton Way buildings.

And lo and behold, another fountain.

Then i met another cousin-in-law for dinner. She took me to Happy Valley where the horse race course is. And we had SHARK’s FIN!!!!

ONLY HKD68!! for a mighty generous serving!

Fried squid, lala and hor fun. all these for TWO people.

My cousin in law with the “huo ji”. Not turkey huo ji but the worker huo ji. ok never mind.

End of day 6

'

Hui Dao Hong Kong Day 5

Today is the day Gene will be leaving in the evening for his 8pm flight back.

So we MUST make full use of the day.

vain pot dressing to go out. i really shouldn’t wear hipsters coz i’ve got short legs.

First stop, Man Mo temple down the street.

Just a short walk from the escalator, Man Mo temple is mostly for students coz it’s “WEN WU MIAO” which translate to books and kungfu or something.

They are renovating because it’s a very old temple.

Ok next to Tsim Tsa Tsui!

Take the TING TING to the STAR FERRY terminal.

One of the must do things in HongKong is to take all their transport.

It is very cheap to take the star ferry, about HKD2.20 for the upper deck. Notice the back rest? It can be pushed to the front so the seat becomes the other way around for the trip back. Neat eh?

More of such signs as we head back to Mongkok, this time armed with more money, and shop for goodies back home.

Deciding that there is still time to visit the famous WONG TAI SIN temple, we took the MTR there.

This is the main gate that leads in. There will be many people asknig you to buy the jossticks but you can get them inside the temple.

The temple is very big so there are different sections of it. This is where it leads to the actual shrine.

Or so i thought. Behind me now is the real Wong Tai Sin shrine. There are other halls dedicated to other deities.

Im not sure why there are goat sculptures here but being the tourist i am, aiya, take foto take foto.

Another one of the many fountains i would encounter in this trip.

And i love this door. Makes me feel like a chinese courtesan.

And then the day whizzed past just like that. Temples and shopping.

Then i had to say goodbye to Gene.

And i cried. and cried and cried in the shopping mall. Coz suddenly i was all alone.

But thankfully OZOC had a sale and i went back a little happier.

'

Zai Jian Shen Zhen day 4

End of Day 3 did I say?

Pardon me. I lose track of time when having fun.

The havoc continues.


Meet Ray, resident DJ of Zouk KL and that babe with abs to die for, dancing next to his console.

Oh one other thing. The toilets here are translucent. You can see people squatting over their bowls. Doing their stuff. Some with hands crossed like they are praying (see picture below), some reaching for toilet paper and wiping their behinds.

After we finally left True Colors, we headed back to Josh’s apartment for MORE PARTY! This time, we brought Ray back, for a private party! He was flying at 7am in the morning to meet his girlfriend so they all decided not to sleep. Afterall, what’s another 3 hours?

A more decent shot of us. Less sloshed. Looks humane.

Ray all ready to leave, but not before damage was done.

Josh and Gene were ghastly made up by Jo, using my brand new SGD$8 made-in-china-bargained-in-shenzhen makeup palette.

AND WHO ARE THESE MYSTERIOUS PEOPLE?

The SUPA HEROS! Sending Ray off!

And finally, sleep comes to them.

This is the end of Day 3. Is it?

My body clock decides to go off at 2 in the afternoon of day 4. It was the tummy that triggered the alarm.

All i could find was frozen dumplings. And this is photographic evidence that I CAN COOK! Instant food is still FOOD ok!

And then, i was headed for VICTORY. I dragged Gene out of bed because it’s SHOWTIME.

See the smug look on my face? That’s because I’ve won. Heh Heh.

Gene’s obviously not too happy about it.

This contest has been going on since 3 years ago and it must end. In my favor, as usual.

See, back in those days when we had outings at botanical gardens, we walked to a section where there were all cactus plants and desert land. So i proudly proclaimed, that I’ve taken him to MEXICO! Not one to go down without a fight, Gene proceeded to bring me places such as Turkey ( turkish restaurant SOFRA).
And so the challenges went on, neck to neck, until I brought him here.

Windows of the World.

It showcases most of the national monuments in the world. Apparently, they have the merlion too.

So there. Gene’s in Paris, the Lourve, where the glass pyramid is. I’m over the the Effiel.

And some anonymous fountain.

And lookie what i found!

MONORAIL! It runs through this part of Shenzhen and links all the amusement parks in the area, so you can get from one park to another.

To end this travel-around-the-world contest feud, it reminds us that, if you are poor, you better have rich imagination.

And check out the latest fashion in baby wear.

Look Ma! No diapers! Just squat and sh!t.

Then we returned home to pick Josh and Jo for more escapades.

And what do we find?

SEX SHOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Siao ah. Singapore also have what.

We also have KFC.

Or is it?

Then we headed for massage. 35RMB for an hour. OMFG. That’s SGD7. I’m never going for spa in batam anymore.

This is the notice found in the massage parlour. Don’t read it if you are an editor.

Then we took a cab to LUO HU. The FAKEY TOWN! If you are an aspiring ah lian but can’t afford the brands, this is the place to go. Storeys of stalls selling imitations. So real even Calvin Klein himself will buy.

(No photos coz they very hush hush. You want good grade stuff, you have to tell them, then they bring you go somewhere don’t know where their warehouse and show you then you buy)

Of course, we never buy lah. Else you will see us at the back of a police car.

The train station is just at Luo Hu, so we went for a quick dinner and it was time to say our teary goodbyes.

Joshua was photoshopped in, that’s why got an extra arm over his shoulder. You can’t trust anyone with your camera in Shenzhen. Nor anywhere else in the world, other than the safest country, our Singapore.

The train station that links HongKong to Shenzhen.

We bought tickets for Tsim Tsa Tsui because we thought that’ll be easiest for us to go back to Central. But we got distracted.

Mongkok was on the railmap.

Time Check, 9pm.

We still have time to shop at the night markets there!!!

Alight at Mongkok.

I love these signs. I love the streets of Hong Kong.

We shopped and shopped at Ladies Market with only HKD50. Which means we bought nothing. We couldn’t afford to!! Unless we were to walk back to HK island.

Yet we can’t resist. The most talked about Mango drink.

*nods*

but then again, for SGD$3.50, you can get an excellent mango drink at ROCKY bubble tea store over the OG Bugis.

Time to head back before the last train.

End of day 4. finally.

'

Ni Hao Ma Shen Zhen Day 3

Technically, we are still on Day 2 because we haven’t slept.

Jo and josh came over from shenzhen to find us at 11pm. We were supposed to go clubbing at Dragon-i but we had jap food for supper at Jordan til 2am.

The beautiful couple, Josh the architecht and Jo the supermodel.

The food was great. love sashimi!

Then we took a bus into Shenzhen in the middle of the night at 3 freaking am in the morning.

Passed the immigration, we got a cab to take us to josh’s apartment.

And once we reached his apartment, what did we have?

PINEAPPLE BEER.

And we dranked and talked til almost 6 in the morning before we all slept.

I was very zoned out. Obviously gene was too. He cant even focus the camera.

AND SHOCKING EVIDENCE of GENE in bed with another PUSSY!!!!!

Meet eric. The J’s pet cat.

After waking up at 1pm, i was hungry. As usual. So i ordered food. The best thing about Shenzhen is they have 24hr delivery and each dish starts from 10 yuan. Very cheap. Almost SGD2 for a bowl of wanton soup, delivered to your door step.

This is proof that models DO eat.

After fueling, we headed out to shop!

Behind me is the VERY FIRST MACDONALDS in Shenzhen and the WHOLE OF CHINA.

And they have lil snack stalls too!

I had a major deja vu feeling at this snack stall, where Josh and Gene were eating. Gene commented that the lil prawns look like armadillos and i swear, i dreamt of that exact scenario just months ago.


Dinner was at TRUE COLORS, a restaurant/pub/club in Shenzhen. It has two areas of music, one for Chinese Rock and the other for the Guest DJ we were there for, Resident DJ of ZOUK KL.

Then it was time to PARTY!

Shots of Dynamo detergent like stuff.

They even have security officers in the dance floor, standing guard.

I didn’t notice myself in the corner of this pic! hehehehe!

This is where the Chinese Rock music comes ALIVE!!

Still looking pretty before we leave!

Time to hit the red buzzer and go home!

END OF DAY 3

'

Lei Ho Mo Hong Kong Part 2

Gene brought his laptop along for the trip and we stayed with my cousin at his apartment at Conduit Road at MidLevels.

Lost? There’s always these signs to show you the way.

This map is located right at the top of the escalator. My finger shows where we were and where we oughta be in Central. The nice blue line is the length of the escalators.

After waking up, we headed out for lunch with Michelle and her mom, who came to pick us in their BENTLEY!! We went to Renaissance Hotel, Dynasty Restaurant which serves the best DIM SUM in Hong Kong.

Mich is so very pretty!

After lunch, they dropped us at Causeway Bay where we walked around somemore before heading back home to rest and prepare for our ascend to THE PEAK!


Trying to have the model “sey” in the middle of the busy street.
Fail.

Now to find our way back home… with our favorite “TING TING”

Now follow these steps to boarding a TING TING.

First you need to find those little tram stops.

Then you reach out and flag them.

Then you queue to board.

Then you hold on to those metal rails for support and remember to smile for the camera.
This is a bad demo.

Get a seat at the top of the tram for a better view.

Ok now to the MUST SEE TOURISTY SPOT of Hong Kong. THE PEAK!

At the base of the PEAK TRAM station. Very hollywood with the bright lights.

As you can see, alot of Guai Los. The cable tram is very steep so for your own safety, please remain seated.
Again, bad demo.

It is VERY windy at the top of the peak, a refreshing change from the hot swelt in town, so do wear more clothing. I was wearing very little on top because we were supposed to go clubbing with Jo and Josh later that night.

We took a very long walk along this winding road at the peak to a lookout point far away from the observatory deck. There we had breathtaking view of the spectacular city that hardly sleeps. We saw the clouds in the mountains and the rain in the distance.

The rain in the distance. It didn’t register until it was too late.
The clouds were closer each time we glanced around.

Time to run Forrest.

Got drenched. Three times. By the passing rain clouds.

Still we got the beautiful night view.

Dinner was a simple affair at one of the local diners at the top.

And then the queue for the cable tram back down was so darn long. Everyone was waiting in the rain. We waited till there was a HUGE RAIN CLOUD and drenched most people who ran seeking shelter. Then we dashed out and got in the front of the queue and finally descended.

END OF DAY 2

'

Hello Hong Kong part 1

Good MORNING Singapore!

It’s 430am in the morning and we are at Changi Airport! Flying Jetstar Asia 3K691 to HONGKONG!

I obviously still look sleepy and messed.

Onboard flight. I am still sleepy but Gene looks raring to go!

Should have gotten Business Class?

Gene demonstrates the latest print ad for commercial airlines.

On the airport shuttle bus that takes us from the plane to the immigration.

At the immigration counter. We managed to steal a shot before security started waving their arms, indicating NO FOTO TAKING.

So nice to see my old buddy, Jackie, at the airport welcoming me with a placard!

On the airport express train that takes you from the airport to Tsing Yi, Kowloon and Hong Kong in 23 minutes flat. At a fee, ten times that from Jurong to Pasir Ris, of almost SGD20! (HKD180 for two)

First meal. Roasted MEAT! Hong Kong Style! There’s a lot of small cafes (char chang teng) where you can easily get a meal for SGD$6 odd.

Road side stall selling sweet soup

Nothing like a cold sweet dish in FREAKING HOT Hong Kong summer

Taking the MTR, not our preferred choice of transport tho. It is a lot more expensive compared to our MRT and you’ll be better off sharing a cab if you are going in 4s.

On the MTR escalator.

Another form of transport. OUR FAVORITE this time. The “ting-ting” tram! At a FLAT FEE of HKD2 (appx 50c) it goes through main thoroughfares in the city.

We just randomly hopped on one of these “ting ting” and landed up in Causeway Bay where we shopped but didn’t buy much coz it is expensive or almost same priced as SG.

Then out of nowhere, we saw a queue. A very long QUEUE.

Being Singaporean, we joined the Q, not knowing what they were lining up for.

I was trying to read the brochure of the guy in front of me. Apparently there’s a sporting goods sale upstairs and they are queuing to get in. Armed with my years of MANGO sale experience, I dragged Gene along.

We ended up on the higher floors of SOGO shopping centre where seriously, it was a HUGE SALE. I bought myself a big puma bag (something I’ve always been shopping for to put clothes/shoes/makeup for castings) for only HKD120!! (apprx SGD20).

It turned out to my best buy for the trip because I had to use it for our short trip to Shenzhen as well as an extra luggage back. Phew.

In the SOGO lift with it’s reflective ceiling. The girl in Pink in front of me is the ELEVATOR GIRL who presses all the buttons.

We ended up having dinner with my Cousin (who I was staying with) at Lan Kwai Fong back at Central.

Did I mention their beef noodles are ZE BEST?!

HK is never complete without it’s NEON LIGHTS!

We headed back after a long day and early flight.

END OF DAY 1

Sat
5
Dec '00

Unique to me

there’s a unique to me MMS and digital photo submission contest going on in conjuction with Singtel Moblog and Singapore Tourism Board.

I scrolled through the 800 odd photos i have captured and stored with my Sony Ericsson K700i (i can proudly state my phone coz Sony Ericsson is one of the sponsor for this contest heh heh) and SOME OF THEM ARE NOT DISPLAYED!
All i get is a smiley face logo

*shock shock horror horror*

“Paramedics paramedics. We need backup now. Man down. I repeat. MAN DOWN!”


This is my personal montage from the collection of MMS in moblog’s storage and is unique to me.